My husband just confessed to me that he has slept with a woman who was a very good friend of mine at one time, it was not this betrayal that brought our friendship to an end. We have been married less than a year, but together for almost 14yrs. Just want some advice.
2006-07-29 16:20:19 · 17 answers · asked by pinkpearl0872 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK, how long ago and how many times? Has he been a "good boy" since that time? Has he been there to support you when you needed him? Has he been your best friend and lover? If this is something that happened a long time ago and he has made up for it since then, you may want to try and forgive him.
If you fee betrayed and cannot forgive him, or if this is something that has just happened and you cannot forgive him, then it is time to talk about splitting up. Trust is so important in a marriage. If trust is broken it is almost impossible to fix.
You need to consider the above questions and come to an understanding about your true feelings. You are the only one who knows how you feel now.
2006-07-29 16:25:51 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband confessed because he felt very guilty and very bad about what he has done. That's the good news. The bad news is that now you feel just as bad, if not worse, than he does.
You two have been together for a long time. Do you want to try to save it? If so, both of you have a lot of work to do. You will almost certainly need the help of a marriage counselor.
The links below are some articles on Dr. Phil's site that helped me decide what to do about my situation. I hope they help you.
2006-07-29 16:28:15 · answer #2 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have been a situation like that once before....I am not with that person anymore but that isn't what ended our relationship..I gave the guy another chance! Now did he cheat during the marriage or while you two were dating...if during the marriage then that is something that could possible still be going on...now if it was before the marriage, not making it right, but guys do that being scared of marriage and all....my advice is go see a marriage couselor!
2006-07-29 16:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by Heather M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone that has taken it for too long...it's been 20 years and history only repeats its self. It's not you - it's them - they are the ones that need the help and the counseling. They are in need of something that you can not help with - until they ask for the help and get it under control, you can't do anything - you can ask him if he's going to seek help and work it out - otherwise, I'd leave. i've wasted 20 years of my life trying to stay committed, loyal and caring to only have it happen one last time. It's heart wrecking for everyone, but it has to be nipped in the bud now or it will never end.
Best luck and many prayers.
2006-07-29 16:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by naywag 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats up Enrik, i'm sorry to hearken to that you're dealing with this kind of demanding time, even if I have under no circumstances been on your shoes, i have been in some confusing ones besides. The encouraging ingredient you may choose to make youself see and trust is that issues receives better. it is a promise. no longer merely will the concern get better yet you'll come out of all of it a a lot more advantageous individual you merely ought to carry in there. do not do something that you're going to remorseful about because you'll discover you've a lot to stay for. I too will address those in 3 factors. Your sexual orientation- I come from a conservative relations so I see your concern, yet even in case your relatives ought to "disagree" with the existence type, they're going to nonetheless love you. Unconditional love skill having no circumstances. It shouldn't recommend they love you once you're immediately. They love you no remember what. Love existence- i imagine virtually everyone has got here upon "mr properly" merely to verify he's "mr incorrect" in a unmarried way or yet another. regardless of what you had in basic the reality is he did not take care of you the way you deserve reason you deserve better than for someone to easily walk out. You deserve someone which will be there by thick and skinny. the hardest area is excepting that this particular guy isn't mr properly. And in case you're taking a seat lower back and look, you'll commence to verify each and each and every of the justifications he wasn't mr properly. even even if that is for the mere incontrovertible reality that he did not recognize you sufficient to grant you an explaination. Mr. properly will come alongside, or perhaps if issues isn't appropriate, you'd be able to take exhilaration in him that significantly better because of what you've lengthy previous by... until eventually then have a touch interesting. pastime- Yeah that one is difficult. i do not recognize what your pastime develop into, or what your skills are so it makes it a touch difficult, yet in case you loved it atleast you recognize what variety of pastime you need to be searching for which will make you chuffed, in case you probably did not like it, its probable a blessing in conceal that you misplaced it. i'm a great believer in making a occupation out of what you want to do! Regadless, waiting tables if a interesting thanks to make some notably sturdy money merely to get you with suggestions from. also an striking thanks to satisfy human beings. ;)
2016-11-26 23:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, be glad it was a confession. It means he regrets doing it. Most men regret getting caught. His confession means that guilt over came him, which means he has a great love for you and doesn't want to hide anything from you. Although the marriage is new, the relationship is old and worth working on.
2006-07-29 16:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say it is. But the real question is why did he feel he had to bring it up now? Does he feel that guilty about it? Or does he think that since you guys are married now that he had best clear his conscience now while you to have a more permanent relationship? I say ask him those questions. And you might just find your answer and something a bit more as well.
2006-07-29 17:08:42 · answer #7 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I found the bitter old lady forum in here. Dont just dump him, if he confessed it to you (which is hard as hell to do) then you mean enough to him to go through that. Everybodies makes mistakes, some bigger than others. But its what you learn from your mistakes that is important.
2006-07-29 16:28:16 · answer #8 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG get a clue, maybe your not giving him something he desires so he had to go shopping, Cheating stems from a partner deprived geesh watch dr phil once in a while you nimwit
2006-07-29 16:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by feyd_away 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats right!! once a cheater always a cheater!!
u can't just forgive him altho he was being honest with u
esp ur married it's not only a relationship
get out of there before u have kids
2006-07-29 16:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋