would you stay in a broken relationship just because of your kids?

Question

been in a relationship 5 yrs, got 2 toddlers, NOT happy, should i stay or go? what about the kids? my bf and i make each other miserable, he wants to stay together for the kids but i think it will hurt them worse in the long run.

Answer 1

The first question is clearly identify what the 2 of you do to make each other unhappy. Is it something that can be compromised but just the 2 of you are too stubborn to give in? Remember that in any relationship it takes alot of compromisation, understanding and forgiveness for it to work. Because no 2 people are the same, and to stay together, the difference (if not too overly conflicting) have to be even out. Go to couple counselling as it usually helps highlight and solves problems.

A bad side of breaking up when there's kids around means that when the kids grow up, they are not in their complete family. With a single parent, they are most likely to end up being cared for by someone else and will never experience the love and intimacy of being cared for by 2 parents who'd show them everything they need to know to grow up into stable, responsible and successful citizens. A single parent means there is no allocation of responsiblilities between 2 people and would put greater pressure on him/her. That one person, would have to work harder to earn more money to take care of him/herself and the kids, maybe do all the grocery shopping, washing and cooking and theres less likely to be down time to completely be there for the kids.

However.. if the benefits of giving the kids a complete family for them to grow up in does not exceed the cost of being together... eg. the differences between the 2 of you are seriously intolerable and will really do the both of you no good to stay together... and also leaving the kids with a bad impression and influence, then you might consider a split. The kids can still be raised 'normally' by a single parent, but that parent will have to try alot harder to put everything together instead of letting everything go its way. (one parent does all the work that is usually done by 2 parents)Try keeping communication channels open to discuss anything and write a list of :

1. Reasons why the 2 of you are not working out.
2. Can the situation be helped, changed or compromised?
3. What happy times did you have with your bf and what is the side of him that you like? What are the sides that you don't like.
4. What are the consequences of breaking up? pros and cons.

I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I'd say leave, and file for joint or sole custody. Living in a broken relationship will do nothing but cause arguments and fighting, and in the end that will hurt the kids even more. Working out a custody arrangement will help the kids to be on good terms with both parents as they get older. Good luck!

Answer 3

My mother and father stayed together 4 the benefit of myself and my 2 bro's. It is worse 4 the kids,...take my word on it.
Try 2 have a decent relationship after splitting 4 the kids sake.
Good luck

Answer 4

I say totally get out. I mean we all love our kids but they are the worst reason to be in a relationship. There is totally more options for him to come by to see them and even pick them up and have them at his place. Than there are reasons to stay because of them. If all you guys do is fight that is all your kids are going to see. So I say its better to just go your seperate ways and make sure you guys write out in an agreement when he can see the kids.

Answer 5

My sons father and I split up when he was 2.5yrs old, it sucked, it was hard, but we were toxic to each other, our son has a much better relationship with both of us now, because there is no more tension in either home, his father and I are both engaged to wonderful people, and we are much, much happier, trust me its hard in the beginning, but once you get settled into a routine and find yourself again, its much better for you and the kids, you will all be happier, and you will be able to find someone that makes you and your children happy.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

If you are not happy you should leave. Kids can since when things aren't right, and if you aren't happy, you can't expect to make anyone else happy.

Answer 8

it will hurt ur kids to c u fightin all the time srry but i say go even tho i had to c relationships go bad =/

Answer 9

try to build the relationship if doesnt work, leave and ask for child support. it may hurt the children if you quarrel and fight......

Answer 10

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