I've heard of boundaries with in-laws and friends, but I've only recently heard of boundries with your spouse. How do you establish boundaries with your spouse?
2006-07-29 16:19:08 · 6 answers · asked by SSc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wonder if the boundaries for spouses means what is allowed or not allowed to come up in an argument. I have heard about that. You set your ground rules before you even have an argument. If someone breaks the rules the argument is over immediately.
You should also schedule your arguments. By this I mean don't get into a fight on the spur of the moment. If something gets you riled up tell your spouse that you want to talk about the problem at ? time.
At that time you sit down and discuss the problem. The purpose of this is to give both people time to cool off and not say something in the heat of battle that may not be exactly what they wanted to say.
2006-07-29 16:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boundaries should definately be in place and be respected before marriage takes place! You shouldn't really be able to say "you may do this, but not this". After all you are not his/her parent you are their partner. But part of being together and being married is cooperating and respecting the wishes of your partner so you can both be happy.
All kinds of things should be discussed, like what you think is cheating or not. Boundaries on if you need alone time every now and then, discuss everything you expect form your partner and vice versa and whatever you don't agree on you should come to some kind of a compromise.
2006-07-29 23:45:14 · answer #2 · answered by Kristen A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What sort of boundaries?
I think some good ones are maybe
"No inviting people over for dinner without at least ___ time warning in advance."
"No yelling / saying a certain word"
"Don't drink more than 3 drinks in one sitting"
Both having seperate banking accounts or being responsible for certain bills
2006-07-29 23:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If those boundaries arent set before you get married, good luck with the divorce.
2006-07-29 23:33:40 · answer #4 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course.
Things like
how many hours on the computer
what to help around the house
how much time he spends with friends
how much drinks
no shouting/yelling, no impatience, no physical abuse. no show of temper
boundary on relationship with in-laws such as visiting/calls
2006-07-30 02:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set the rules of all the do's and dont's and let them know they're not walking all over you.
2006-07-29 23:24:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋