I have been married for 13 years now. I recently graduated from school for building construction. I was in school with teenagers, I am now 35 yrs old. I had the best time of my life! They woke me up and taught me how much life I was missing out on. I was living a dull life. I have 2 young kids at home. With my husbands work schedule he is never home at night. We pass by each other like 2 ships at sea. Well now I am full of zest, but my husband is not. He likes our dull life, no dates, nothing. I am not happy anymore with my marriage. I want to find someone fun to b with! Is this wrong, or should I stay in a constantly unhappy marriage?
2006-07-29 16:05:10 · 26 answers · asked by dtammyus♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I told him a yr ago, how I felt, and that I wanted to leave if he didn't change with me. -no more dull life- He changed only a little. He's gone out w/kids and I, But he had no fun at all. Then blamed me for dragging him there.
2006-07-29 16:57:29 · update #1
I think Naywag has it all wrong because people change and sometimes the person you married doesn't always turn out to be who you expected would turn out to be. You are in the prime of your life right now and are realizing that you have changed, but your partner hasn't. Naywag is partially right, however. You do need to tell him your frustrations and tell him what your expectations are now. IF he doesn't comply or you both don't come to some compromises, then I think all you will do is resent him and no one in the home will be happy. I think it's worse for children to be in a home where the parents are either arguing or non-communication. REMEMBER>>>you are teaching your children by your actions. You don't always have to tell them what is going on for them to learn. They learn by emulation. They are intuitive. Do what will make you happy and they will be happy. Good luck to you.
2006-07-29 16:50:47 · answer #1 · answered by babe_in_the_country 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well marriage is one heck of a commitment. You should only really consider leaving it if your absolutely certain you've done everything to make it better without success (other circumstances aside).
In a marriage such as yours where you don't have much time with one another, it can easily slip into a comfortable state where you each keep to yourself and do your own thing. You have to combat this tendency. The key is communication!!
Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Let him know that you want to have more fun. Let him know that the status quo isn't going to cut it. Let him know how serious you are and that you really want to make things work with him. Find things that he'd like to do that would also quench your desire for fun!!
Good luck. I wish you the best and the strength to do the right thing. If you'd like to talk about it, feel free to PM me!!
Take care!
2006-07-29 23:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by chalis913 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unhappy and miserable, your husband proably is too! Believe me if one person is not wanting to be there the other one is feeling it. Talk to your husband, give him the chance to change, you also got to remember you ain't no 21 year old that has no responsibilties. If you want the party life, then definietly leave, and let your husband raise the kids. They need someone stable and is looking out for them, not where the action is...You aren't doing anybody staying in a marriage that is not satisfing this new zest for life. You are going to hurt your family more by making them miserable along with you. Let him find a woman that is satisfied with a homebody, and can handle his work schedule, and there is alot of woman that would think he's heaven sent.
You find that person that collides with ship insteand of passing it by. Good luck to all of you.....God bless us all............
2006-07-29 23:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's an idea - plan a nice romantic evening for your husband and you. It can be at home if he doesn't want to go out. Make sure the kids are somewhere being babysat so you have the place to yourselves.
After the intimate chit-chat start a conversation about life dreams and goals. Sound him out about his life as it is. See what he dreamed he would attain in his life. Slowly start to bring the conversation around to your topic here.
Please remember that teenagers are full of hopes, dreams, and lots of energy. People in their 30's have mellowed a bit in their aspirations. You are not a teenager and acting like one is rather silly at your age. I am not trying to be critical, but rather be realistic. I teach teenagers every day. I understand how they can show you side of life you had forgotten. But imagine how silly it would look for you to wear the same clothes or act the same way as a teenager.
2006-07-29 23:21:33 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass may seem greener on the other side but what happens when you find out it is not? Of course teenagers are full of life because they do not have the responsibility we adults have. You made a committment to your husband and now brought 2 lives into it. Put your energy towards your marriage and rekindling that flame with your hubby. Good luck!
2006-07-29 23:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got out of my 11 year relationship (6 year marriage) for the same reason...
Not wrong at all.... We all grow in different directions... You can't expect eachother to be the same person for 13 years...
If you grow apart, and you feel you've entered a new 'stage' in your life... it may be the time to move on...
I was with my husband from 19 years old, and now at 31 I can tell you for certain I'm not the same person i was at 19!!!
When two people grow apart, sometimes they need to find happiness in different places...
My place was single, dating and doing a damn good job being independent.
Where is your place?
2006-07-29 23:21:25 · answer #6 · answered by Sienna Baker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with you people....Marriage is a committment. you have children. Divorce hurts everyone. When you took your marriage vows you did not promise Happily Ever After. You took a committment and brought inocent children into the marriage. Get a life and get some help - talk thing out - let each other know your needs - if you can't talk to who was your best friend - who can you talk to? lots of relationship help out there see a counselor or search the web for resources - - but get yourself help - don't get bitter and leave - once you recognize your having difficulties - let it be known and work it out.
2006-07-29 23:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by naywag 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about it well I could understand if he was out doing hobbies or clubbing but he is working trying to help take care of you and kids.If you want to go have fun get a female friend or take the kids go do things it is sex wellbuy a toy honestly if you get out of your marriage the next one might hurt you.Then you will wish you had the old tired drag of a hubby who was loyal and dull because he was trying to work and be home with the family.
2006-07-29 23:22:37 · answer #8 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always good to hear that a woman can be brought back to life while hanging around teenagers, Hmmmm wasnt there a teach once whom slept with an had a kid by a student, sounds like your not comunicating with your husband, It sounds like you already made your mind up. Great thing to be a man cause if our wife adds spice to the plate were always happy to take another bite. Grow the hell up
2006-07-29 23:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by feyd_away 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and you may feel that way because you were in school with alot of younger people but think you chose to get married and make a family and that is how living real likfe is not colllege life!
2006-07-29 23:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by Heather M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋