I met this guy at my year ago at my job, He was newly married,, I wasn't I had been married for 14 years...14 long years.. well my marriage is over, was tired of being mental and physical punching bag...but what started as friends with this guy, as turned into him telling me he can't stop thinking about me, and the fact that we get along so well, He says he doesn;t know what happened. It's been a year, we have kissed but not had sex, we never will, unless i'm the one with the ring. I don't see why he says he can't get me out of my system, could there ever be a future? By the way for all the ladies who are gonna jump on me and say I'm skum, His wife says that sex is not a priority for her and that she rather pay bills then have sex, and offered him to other woman on an anniversary trip to the islands, and was dead serious.. I'll still get stoned by you guys, but I figured I would put that in their, we talk on the phone and by text message, no sex.. ......He says he loves me
2006-07-29 15:49:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK, he says he loved you. Now what? You won't have sex without a ring on your finger. So what will you do? Step back for just a moment and look at this.
This man was newly married, yet he is interested in you. (are the bells ringing yet?)
You were tire of a 14 year bad marriage and turned to a man who was newly married for comfort. (warning bells yet?)
This man is now in love with you, you have kissed, and his wife doesn't want sex. (Danger, Danger)
So to sum up what I have gotten from your delema is there is a newly married man who is in love with you because you used him as comfort when dealing with a bad marriage.
Now, what to do. I don't see anything here about him leaving and divorceing his wife - did I miss that part? What I see is HIM telling YOU that the wife gives him permission to cheat. Have you discussed this with his wife? How do you know that is true? Oh, that's right, the guy who wnats to cheat told you so!
What happened to your decision to wait until there is a ring on your finger? How will that happen if he is married? Do you plan to share him with his wife? Maybe move to Utah and become Morman?
What is actually get from this is that you are a home-wrecker. The man seemed to be fine until you decided to get closer for your own needs. I wonder if his wife is truly aware of his lies? I am willing to bet he is telling you anything he thinks you want to hear to get sex.
For the sake of someone's marriage you know you should stay away from him. Why do you chose to destroy another marriage, wasn't yours bad enough? Leave this man alone until he divorces his wife. Then you will know if he truly wants you.
2006-07-29 16:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is so unhappy why is he still married? There is a reason behind him staying. Who told you all these things his wife has said? I hope it wasn't him, because one of them ain't telling the truth. If he loves you then he would leave her plain and simple. I am sorry there's just too many unanswered questions here. Proud of you though for being brave enough to ask for advice. I am not going to stone you, my heart goes out to you. His wife must have a short chain on him, honey, please think about this, truth of it is, he's probably using you. I certainly hope not, but the wife if she's would rather pay bills then have sex with him and tried to give him away maybe you should run away from him. I wouldn't waste anymore of your time on him if he doesn't get that piece of paper that says he's free to love you morally and lawfully. God bless us all.................
2006-07-29 23:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There can NEVER be a future with the two of you until he gets divorced. If that's not going to happen, and in most cases it doesn't, you need to move on. He says he's always thinking about you because he wants something on the side. Do you see any commitment there?
2006-07-29 22:57:45 · answer #3 · answered by Debs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he wants to be with you tell him he needs to take care of his current marriage and if he ever leaves her then to come looking for anything other than friendship.Do not wait for him or put your life on hold if he sees you dating around he will know he either needs to leave his marriage to be with you or stay in his marriage without you being anything other than friends
2006-07-29 22:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are both in an emotion turmoil. you with a separation and him in a new marriage. your marriage is already over fis is just starting. leave him alone and give him a chance.
2006-07-29 23:15:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ... like you said.. you need to be the one with the ring. It's that simple
2006-07-29 22:58:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋