How do I deal with my jealousy towards my son-in-law?

Question

My daughter (I'm her dad), whom I love with all my heart, has been married for 2 years and it unfortunately has had a negative effect on our relationship. I feel jealous of her husband. Now she goes to him with all of her problems rather than me and I feel like I've become less important to her as her marriage progresses.

I miss her and want to have that loving and close relationship we used to have. How can I get my daughter back, or should I just be happy with the status qou?

Answer 1

I see you posted this question again. You received great answers the first time you posted it. Are you looking for someone to tell you to tell her husband to allow you to be number one in her life? If so, that is incredibly selfish of you.

Answer 2

Daughter's are precious gifts from God aren't they! I have a 21year old daughter who got married the end of May. She is my heart too. I miss her terribly, but she is happy with her new husband. She is entering into a new phase of her life, and I want to protect her from all the world's meanness. You know what we can't. Instead of feeling jealous, Dad, be proud and happy that she has found a man that she trusts and loves. Call your daughter, and ask her for a date-try to make it when you know the son-in-law will be busy or at work. Even if it's a lunch date...then tell how much you have missed and enjoyed the date with her, and say let's make this a habit. She still needs her Daddy, believe I am 44 and I still need mine. A woman no matter how old she is-needs the man she knows will always love her no matter what she is, or does, and that man is her Daddy. Drop her I am thinking of you card in the mail, text her or e-mail her..you are still needed but right now she's doing what she is suppose to turning to her husband. Be proud! I hope you like your son-in-law, because he maybe your biggest supporter in this. My son-in-law understands and recognizes that I need my daughter like I need air to breath. When she is with me, he uses the time to be with his family or the guys. Talk to your daughter! She might even realize that you are feeling left out. Make that date, and get back on track.....She's a very lucky girl to have such a caring Father, and then she's also lucky to have a good husband. Two great men in her life, what a blessing.....I hope she realize what she has....God bless us all....from a proud Momma and a happy Mother in law

Answer 3

You are no less important to your daughter now than before she married, she has just entered a different phase of her life. Please believe me when I say she still thinks you are the most important man in the world. Don't be jealous of her husband, because everything he ever does in life will be judged by her in the way Dad would do it. If she has a good marriage it is because you gave her the confidence and wisdom to choose a decent loving man to spend the rest of her life with. You set the example and the bar for which every man will have to meet in her eyes. Just be there for her and try to begin a relationship with her husband. She will always be daddy's little girl. And she will always need you, even if its just knowing you are there.

Answer 4

Dad , sometimes we have to let the little ones grow up and become their own person. Part of letting this happen is for you to let go. Your Daughter still loves you , but she has her own life now. I can promise you one thing , if you let this go any further , your jealousy toward her Husband will eat at you until you do something or say something. Then you may loose her altogether.Be glad for the time you had with her when she was growing up. Move on and accept what is.

Answer 5

As a daughter and wife, I understand completely. Sometimes its hard for us as well. We love our husbands dearly, but lets face it Daddy's, well, are our hero. My father, who is now dieing of cancer, has been my backbone throughout my life. But years ago he told me that my husband must come first, before everything and everyone else including him. I'm glad he said that because now I have my husband to support me through losing my father. After I was married, my father became more of a friend to me rather than my emotional support crutch. This is normal and healthy and part of life's natural circle. Believe me, you are just as important to her as you has always been, but she is using the skills YOU have taught her and now has a healthy relationship with her husband. Be proud you helped her to do this! With all the divorce and problem marriages out there, she has learned from the best (daddy!) how to nurture and grow in her relationship now. Be proud, and tell her so often! She still needs to know she is Daddy's little girl and always will be, but she also needs to know how proud you are that she is able to have such a good relationship with others as well.

Answer 6

I feel your pain. It's just part of the natural process though. Maybe you could accept that she relies on him for some of the man stuff a little more easily if you and she set up a monthly Daddy and daughter date. Just be sure not to exclude her guy from all your get togethers so no resentment is felt. Just try to stay involved, and remember: You are older and wiser. This kid doesn't have ALL the answers. She will still need you.

Answer 7

You should be happy and realize that her successful relationship is because you taught her well. Women deal with this all the time, usually men don't feel it as hard. This is just nature taking its course, this is the way is supposed to be and as hard as it is you have to let her go. I have a son like this and miss him dearly too, we just need to be happy that we were blessed with such wonderful kids and we are still important its just a little different now!

Answer 8

i hate to tell you this but its time you let go and live your life. i have 5 daughters and i love and miss them terribly but what i have learned is that we are their protectors and they try to choose someone like us;that is our role. now with the mother they are usually best friends and do everything together. i look like instead of loosing a daughter i have gained a son. you will get a lot with honey than vinegar. your job is far from over, just watch.now its time for you to kick back a little and watch. life is hard for them these days,do not make it harder for them, and believe me when i am with one of my daughters and then they leave it as if someone has torn one of my arms off.i have found that jealously is a form of insecurity. let nature take its course and watch the good job you did raising her.

Answer 9

Its all part of the cycles of life. Its normal for any child to grow up move on and have her own family. Its hard for parents to find them selves less important then when their children where kids. She loves you just as much have no doubt of that.

Answer 10

seeeing as how she exchange into born with a meth situation, this is quite attainable that she has some developmental delays. My son exchange into no longer born with any form of drug situation, nor did I smoke or drink whilst pregnant, and we found out at 11 years previous that he has some developmental delays. It explains alot, and hubby remains having worry comprehending that our son won't be in basic terms like numerous different babies. i think of that it ought to be incredibly worth it to have them evaluated. the college psychologist ought to be waiting that can assist you you hit upon supplies for the two babies, and the college could be waiting to attempt them to a pair quantity. i could in all risk tell hubby that as a mom you have the duty to be sure that your infant is risk-free. If which ability having the step-babies evaluated for delays, etc, then it must be finished. ascertain you remind him which you're thier common caregiver even whilst he's in the residing house, so except he should be having vistiation along with his youthful babies instead of residing with them, he extra effectual pay interest. enable him be responsive to if your 11 month previous is composed of ANY harm on the palms of the step-babies which you will %. up and bypass on your father and mom. If he must be the to blame parent he could exchange his track. i be responsive to my hubby thinks my existence is all chocolate and roses till the babies pull some crap on him, THEN he's conscious.