hey pepole read my poem whatha think?

Question

I walk these streets full of pepole to only see them suffer Ihave no idea why though so i go on with my day as always but then i see what i never though possible the most beautiful girl the one of my dreams the one who made me see i whent to her i tried to talk but i just couldnt it was if i had no tonge so she turns to me and say "Hi" i forced my self to respond with an hello so we talk in times of bad she was there for me when i made an mistake she correted me and one day she was just gone i dont know were she went then on the news i heard that she waskilled in a car reck

so now i see why the pepole on the streets suffer they to have lost on for which they cared also

i dont care if i cant spell

just so you know i write poems like this all the time i just made this

Answer 1

TRAGIC MAN! somethin romantic with a tragic end......

Answer 2

Its pretty good on a scale from 1 to 10 I give it a 7!!!

Answer 3

I think its thought provoking. One word of constructive criticism, spell check your text b/f posting. In fact, press the edit button on your posting and spell check it now b/f more people read it as some of the sentences don't make sense.

It will make the piece more powerful.

Keep up the creativity!

Answer 4

Nice, but direct. Poetry should make the reader work a little bit. Why don't you try being a little indirect and making us figure out what happened? The impact is usually greater that way.

Answer 5

nice...here's a poem I wrote....

Questions, answers….all day long!!
We have no life so we play along.

We answer the stupid, we answer the smart,
We answer question after question. How did this all start?

How did we become so addicted? We’re did we go wrong?
Now our houses stay dirty…we stopped mowing the lawn!!

We can’t sleep at night, we can’t concentrate at work
We live to answer questions to people who act like jerks

We stare at our computers till we go nearly blind
But as long as we can give answers…we don’t really mind

Answer 6

please don't be harm.... yet you're everywhere you have super content textile. yet what's the tip effect which you fairly decide for human beings to get out of this. the 1st 2 strains super. from the third to the 4th i loose my stability strains 5,6 line 7 is broken glossary might help 8 is physically powerful 9,10, 11 are those that should bypass and punch and that they do punch. yet i'm lost in what your very final thought you opt for for me to have.jointly with actuality, melancholy, wish or hopeless memories or dome. please do no longer enable this end u from writing your words and your coronary heart, you receive all of it there. basically stay in line along with your rationale of what you opt for for to narrate in you message. after thought i basically study the call of your pome "lost"

Answer 7

I hear the point that you are trying to make, but I think the grammar needs some extra attention.

Overall pretty good.

Answer 8

I give it a 5 on the scale. Keep trying cause I think you might have potential.

Answer 9

If you're under twelve it's pretty good, if you're over twelve you need some remedial spelling help and grammar and literature studies to help you with your writing.

Answer 10

Your poem is cool, I just couldn't really get the rhythm of it.

Answer 11

Hope you are up for an honest response,it totally sucks.Don't give up your day job.