is it normal to be unhappy in a marriage?

Answer 1

XXXXXXXXXXXXX seperation is the cure for unhappiness in a marriage. No, absolutely not, it's not normal for being unhappy in a marriage. He shouldn't be neither should you so get out will you have your sanity. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 2

It is not normal to be unhappy in a marriage. That is not to say there won't be unhappy times. Marriage takes a lot of work and commitment to be fulfilling. But if you haven't started with a good foundation than anything can bring it down. Married 30 years and going for another 30.

Answer 3

Uh oh. Hold on a second before you leap to judgment. Some of the answers here are misleading.

Is it normal to be unhappy in a marriage? Well, it is normal to have times during a marriage when you won't be entirely happy. Does that mean your marriage is hopeless and that you should leave? Absolutely not.

Every good marriage goes through times when each spouse may not be happy with some things about the marriage. But then, the partners learn to work through them.

Listen, being married to another person means learning to meld your lives together. You're taking two different people--different habits, different personalities, different ideas--and then linking them together for life. There is bound to be some times when you will not agree with each other. Does that mean you're not compatible? No. Does that mean you're going to be unhappy in the marriage. No.

Marriage is one of the best things in life. It is one of the best ways for a person to grow and become a better person. You have a partner who will always be on your side. You will never be alone in this cold, cruel world. You have a best friend and lover all rolled up together. You have the only other person on this earth who loves your children as much as you do and who would die for them...and for you.

You learn to put someone else before your own selfishness. You learn to be there for another person for better or worse. You learn loyalty, dependability, trust, self sacrifice, service, forgiveness, tolerance, understanding, patience...and if you do it right, unconditional love.

Is it easy? No. That is why there are so many divorces. It isn't because marriage is bad. It is because people aren't willing to do what it takes to grow and become better people. It is too easy to dump a person and move on to look for someone else in the vain hopes of finding the "perfect" spouse.

Well, the truth is there isn't a perfect spouse. Before you find a perfect spouse, you'd better learn to BE a perfect spouse first. Otherwise, you'll just find faults in the next spouse.

If you are unhappy in your marriage, be honest and ask yourself why. You haven't told us what exactly is making you unhappy. Marriages suffer for many, many reasons. There is no one fix.

I'm not saying to suffer in a bad marriage. There are times when you must leave--for your safety. Ask yourself: Is there any of the three A's (adultery, abuse, addiction)? Yet, even through these problems, some marriages can survive and improve.

Consider counseling first.

I wish I knew more about your particular problem, but without knowing that, I can only try to encourage you.

The happiest marriages have times of discontent. So, yes, it is normal. There are good seasons and not so good seasons.

Keep planting seeds of love...they will bloom again very soon. :)

Answer 4

I think at times it is normal to be unhappy, but not all the time. If you are constantly unhappy in your marriage something is seriously wrong and you need to have a long discussion with your spouse and try to figure out exactly what is causing you so much unhappiness.

Answer 5

Do you even know what happiness is?

So many people put the price of "happiness" to rate whether they are fulfilled as human beings.

We were brainwashed at a very young age to accept that "happiness" was:

A. a white picket fence;
B. with a cat and a dog
C. two point five children with braces
D. a mortgage, credit cards....

La dee daw deee dawwwww

Thats bull! The corporation that started that advertising campaign must've been the same one that invented the gimmick that was the commercialization of Christmas. Heck they probably owned all of the picket fence posts and made (and still do) a fortune at it.

To be able to be content, self assured, having the feeling of faith between you and your mate, honesty with one another (not being an emotional critic) ........

these are all qualities of life that we should strive for...its my opinion but I'm stickin' with it.

Now whether we are ever going to be "happy" it doesn't matter. Whether you are "unhappy" if you know it and theres nothing your willing to do to help fix it then you've already given up on it. Don't dwell on the bad stuff.

If you spend your day just wondering at least once "what am I going to do to make that other person's life just a littlle bit better today than it was yesterday" then your on the right track to knowing that it is love that your sharing.

If you care enough to live with someone in a committment that is supposed to be "til death do you part" then quit looking for ways to end it. Unless your dying, you better stay married...its a legal binding contract and if people took their vows between each other, God and the State, seriously as any contract should be, there would be a lot better ways to spend your time than in divorce court.

Quit looking for a reason to stop ..... get your head out of the "unhappy" gig and live life. You'll know when it's over cuz it takes TWO PEOPLE TO MAKE A MARRIAGE AND TWO PEOPLE TO FAIL AT A MARRIAGE. Someone's not doing their share and even if your the "one who was done wrong" remember nothing would have happened "wrong" if you would have been aware that there was something that wasn't right before the wrong came about!!!!

If your worried about it talk to him or her and get on with the necessities to get your securities back because doubt will certainly be a food for the divorce lawyer because in the end he is the only one who doesn't end up hurt!

The victims who go unnecessarily ignored are the family members, children, friends and pets~ don't forget they are there and they can help make you feel better about it as well.


...............think about it................

Answer 6

I've never been married, but I've been with the same guy for over 2 years, and I'm not happy. So, I would guess that being unhappy is part of marriage or any kind of relationship. I don't really know.

Answer 7

No, it is not normal to be unhappy in your marriage. Talk with your spouse, if you can, about why your unhappy. He/she may be unhappy too. Together, you two can see if y'all can find a way to be happy with each other again. Try a marriage counselor, they can work wonders. There is a reason your not happy, try to resolve the matter, it will only get worse.

Answer 8

It isn't good but it is of course VERY common these days.. I mean come on - over half of all marriages end with divorce I guess everyones unhappy! But really I think that soo many people go into marriage expecting a fairy tale which it isn't - and they don't know how to communicate and how to work for the happiness - it doesn't just come effortlessly - no matter what it seems like the happy couples have - you don't know their lives at home - they probably struggle the same as you do - they just know how to work at it. I know counseling has a bad rep for some reason.. but please try it.. If you can't get your hubby to go - at least go by yourself they can really teach you alot about how to be happy with yourself and how to communicate better to get what you need from your husband and your life.

Answer 9

To realize it is the 1st step - if your unhappy - do something about it. You married this person for a reason - happiness is a choice. Many resources on the web to create a better marriage - don't let what happened to me happen to your family. My husband wasn't happy and nobody knew. He just walked out of 20 years of marriage and 2 teen age boys - seperated for 1 year and he's on girlfriend #2 - he doesn't know what he wants - but he thinks he's happy - but has made three other people miserable. Get yourself together and talk and start working things out - we have WAY too many divorces in this world...it effects our children - adults need to grow up and take responsibility for the committments they have made to begin with. God did not bring marriage together for "happiness" happiness is created.

Answer 10

Yes it's normal to be unhappy in a marriage.

Answer 11

No it isn't I mean any marriage is going to have a little unhappiness here and there but it should be a great feeling I was married before my hubby now and I was miserable actually it was the lonliest time of my whole life but now I am truly happy with my second marriage.