Need help with proceeding with a stepparent adoption???

Question

I just got consent from my daughter's biological father for my husband to adopt my daughter. This is very good news for her because the biological father has been in and out of her life and is not stable. My daughter is only three and my husband is the only real "daddy" she has known. Does anyone have any advice/has been in this situation before? We live in Kansas.

Answer 1

I had this exact situation when my son was 15 months old and I married. His biological father never visited Patrick and bought him a couple of outfits once in just over a year. I brought Patrick to visit his father a few times and he (the father) seemed happy to see him. However, his father wanted me to have an abortion when he learned of my pregnancy. When I refused, he tried to hit me but luckily was caught in the act right before striking me.

I married a guy who loved Patrick and I very much. He wanted to adopt Patrick so that he would have a Daddy who loved him and took care of him. We later had 2 daughters. He has ALWAYS treated Patrick as his own child. We have since divorced and Patrick knows that he is adopted but has never considered anyone but his Dad to be his true father.

A father is someone who helped create life. A Dad is someone who is there for the child through thick and thin. Someone who will ALWAYS be there no matter what the problem. He has a biological father. But his Dad is the most important man in his life. :)

I say go for it. Your daughter is an innocent who didnt ask to be here. Its your responsibility to ensure that she is cared for in the best way possible. AND its your decision. No one elses. Dont let your family or your new husband influence your decision. If this is what you want and he is up to it, do it. Your daughter will be thankful for the stability.

One more thing- PLEASE never degrade her biological father. Let her know she has someone else out there who loves her very much; he just isnt able to be a Daddy.

You need a good adoption attorney who will ensure that all the bases are covered. Adoption means the biological father cannot be in her life in the same way he was before. He probably shouldnt be contacted unless someone really terrible happens. God forbid, if something terrible does happen with her, he should be contacted and be able to be there with her if he chooses.
Dont lie to her about him. Dont tell her he's dead or something and dont tell her something that makes him seem great either (if its made up). It will make her wonder why he didnt want her. (I'm adopted as well) Just let her know that he wasnt ready to be a Daddy and her (new) Daddy is. They both love her very much and want her to be safe and happy.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

I'm in a similar situation:
My step-son's mother is a promiscuous, deadbeat, drugged out, horrible influence on him. My husband-to-be and I are getting full custody of him very soon and I plan to adopt him as my own. I love him more than anything in this world and I call him my own. My husband-to-be is a police Sergeant and would probably have some definite knowledge of your situation... feel free to look up my email address and I will be there for you through this. Sometimes all it takes is a listening ear and a knowledgable tongue to get you through... I'll be both if you'll let me.

Answer 3

I don't live in Kansas but I am going through the same thing. First u need to go get the form from your local courthouse. Have the step dad fill it out and then turn it in. If everything is o.k and your ex signs over his rights to yur hubby then you'll be fine. Children Services might do a home study to check out your husband and your home as well.

Answer 4

You have to go to the lawyer and have papers drawen up terminateing his rights to your daughter and giving custody to your hubby. Then it will go to a family court can usually be done within a few months as long as EVERYONE is willing to go for it.

Answer 5

Hire an attorney.