Why does Bondage give pleasure without lovemaking?

Question

I am in love and so confused by it Help me please

Answer 1

To expand beyond other answers, bondage is not even necessarily connected with lovemaking at all. There are a lot of people who engage in self-bondage, or have someone tie them up without any sexual activity going on.

I suppose that the reasons for this are nearly as variable as the persons involved, but may boil down to a few reasons. Some people may simply like the idea of having restricted movement so a time. They might like the idea of something to struggle against without the added complication of involving another person holding them down. They might like the beauty of seeing someone, anyone, in bondage and choose themselves as the most convenient subject.

It might be a bit counter-intuitive to understand the reasons like one would voluntarily seek to be put in a position. However, a lot of others (including many of the people into bondage) find being the recipient of painful stimuli to be pleasurable. While a masochist's pleasure can be explained by the production of endorphins from pain reception, the reasoning of pleasure from bondage is perhaps more subtle.

In many ways, it's the thrill of the activity that may be inviting. I suspect that many who are into bondage for its own sake find some of the fight-or-flight instincts being overridden, which can be exciting in of itself. While the bound person is not in any pain, the thrill is manifest in a calm manner that is hard to explain. This, I suspect, usually ends when the bound person begins to feel pain from stiffness associated with non-movement, and even then, there can still be some thrill in terms of trying to escape.

It's not easy to understand the rationale behind this, just as it's not easy to understand why some people get into addictive behaviours. It may simply boil down to the psychology. I suppose that it's something that one either likes or not, and it's context-dependent, as I suspect that most who find pleasure from bondage would chafe at it if it it applied by a true kidnapper.

Hope that helps.

Answer 2

Broadly speaking, there are two personality types: dominant and submissive. Most people have elements of both, but most people are predominantly one way or the other when it comes to sex.

Bondage gives you pleasure because you are a submissive personality type, at least when it comes to sex. That's totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Your ideal mate would be someone with a dominant personality.

The previous answer was correct, bondage is about control, taking control (for the dominant) and letting go of control (for the submissive). Submitting to bondage is, in a very real sense, an act of love, an act of intimacy, and a display of trust as great or even greater than sexual intercourse. And that is why it gives you pleasure -- it should!

Also remember that all relationships are built on good communication, and you should not be afraid to communicate with your partner about bondage, what kinds of bondage you find a turn-on and what kinds you don't, and how far he should go. If you're new at this (and I assume you are), it's good to have a "safeword" to use to let him know when you've reached your limit. Discuss this in advance and make sure he's on board with it. Then -- just relax and have fun!

Answer 3

When I really studied up on Bondage, I didn't really like it very much. Bondage is kinda dealing with rape, and real love doesn't whip, etc. there true love. True love will treat the other with respect. Remember sex & making love is a big diffrence between the two. Sex or rape is using someone for thier own pleasure. Making love is a LOT diffrent, you are trying to pleasure your lover, you want them to have a wonderful, mindblowing time, and not just you. You are LOVING your lover!

Answer 4

I am really into bondage too, and I think the biggest attraction to it is letting someone have control over me. If you are like me, and you probably are, you are a strong person who doesnt trust easy and it is a relief to have someone else control you for a change, even if only in the bedroom.

Answer 5

I think that bondage borders on rape ideas. Bondage renders one helpless and the other has power over you. Not necessarily real healthy. Bondage is a form of sadism that may get worse.

Answer 6

The fact of being helpless, and having to trust your partner completely, is a big thrill. Adding a blindfold adds the element of surprise.
And this works on both ends of the rope: for the same reasons it's a big thrill for the binder too.

Have fun!