Twenty-something years,
twenty-something tears.
Used to douse the fire,
leaving ashes born to retire.
A smile masked in guile.
So hard to stay alone,
When i'm stalked by a clone.
In a mirror's reflection,
there's a glare that owns no attention.
You've read books to learn me.
You've said words to burn me.
You've tread waters to float with me.
You've bled a rock, that I just learned was me.
So tragic,
Would you agree?
Mirror imagery,
Has such a nasty way,
of displaying mistaken identities.
A sad smile of fixed disarray.
Like magic for none to see.
Smoke and mirrors may be my thing.
When 7 years is the cost to blind this sting.
2006-07-29 14:32:45 · 7 answers · asked by JekYLL'sHyDe 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
thanx guys I appreciate the positive feedback.
2006-07-29 14:42:00 · update #1
Your writing is quite a vehicle. I would just encourage you to keep at it. You clearly have a gift of not just verse, but of writing well, too. Your choice or selection of words and your command of outside normal vocabulary choices all point to a gift developing. This writing is giving back something to you which is healing and life giving and electric and accurate. As a writer, I can tell you the less you ponder the significance of your choices and the more you delve forward into stream of conscious, first-impulse writing the happier you will be than if you peel and polish the apple. That's when you hunt for exactly the right word while the muse continues across the desert and stops looking back over her shoulder to see if you are still paying attention. She is very fond of you and even when she is moving forward and speaking to you she has a smile on her face. You have summoned her with great clarity, and she will be with you for a long time, much to the benefit of the rest of us. It would not surprise this writer if your writings would one day be considered rather important in a lasting way. You have that gift. I just hope you do not corral yourself with neither style nor form, but just let it take you where it will transport you, smile or no smile. Your writing is excellent because it does not hesitate. It has cadence and pace and impact. I congratulate you on how well you nail the issue which is uniquely yours each time. I also congratulate you for extending this gift to those of us who will always enjoy someone who is not afraid to say exactly what winds are blowing on the desert he has come to trust because his muse is walking there... Sent with love from Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. Good luck to you, and for God's sake, keep writing!
2006-07-29 14:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Agree with Chris, if you do not have a journal get one and work to fill it. For me, that tactile sensation of pen or pencil dragging across the page is part of the process..If you do your work in the "silicon chip" world first, transfer it over to paper. The you add a sketch or border.... :{)
All in all, I really like this piece. There are a few lines that I care for less than others, but some stand out so strong- "In a mirror's reflection, there's a glare that owns no attention." This is a very strong work, and I too feel that it shows talent, Dig deep for inspiration, learn all you can about the mechanics, and burn up a few hundred pencils and journals on RECYCLED paper!! :{)
2006-08-03 00:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by Mike R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reaaal good! Kinda angry-ish. Anger born from sorrow.
2006-07-29 21:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by jennifae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it! It sounds kind of like a song.
2006-07-30 00:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, i like it.......it's a bit depressing but most poetry is.
2006-07-29 21:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice nice...keep up the good work...
2006-07-29 21:36:30 · answer #6 · answered by Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's really sad... so true, though.
2006-07-29 21:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by hockeychickstagecrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋