My ex-partner (very respected for years by me and the rest of my family) seduced my 17 year old daughter and convinced her to live with him.. (He´s a 40 year old divorced man) so she ran away from home, and now she wont speak to me because I dissaprove this relationship. Should I forgive him and act as normal, swallowing my anger, just to know about her and see her? I have now a year that I dont see her and I miss her very much !!!
2006-07-29 14:17:35 · 15 answers · asked by Mayra 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is just AWFUL...Well, its always good to forgive for your own sanity..
Did you date him also??? If you dated him too, he's a Creep and hell no dont forgive him! .If you did not date him, then maybe you can start to forgive him, and slowly heal yourself--but that does mean that you start accpeting their crazy relationship. Just keep your opinions to yourself in order to keep the peace..
Trust me, when your daughter is down and out,, she'll come crawling back on her hands and knees to mommy..Sorry, but your daughter is a selfish little thing not to even pick up the phone and call her mom from time to time..Well, still call her-- eventually she'll talk to you, and dont talk about the creep, just ask how she's doing and stuff. Hope this helps.
Peace
2006-07-29 14:29:03 · answer #1 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd call the cops and go for statutory rape charges against him, because she's under 18. They may still be able to go after him if she's now 18, because she was still a minor when he seduced her.
And no, don't swallow your anger, your values, and you disapproval. Your little girl needs to understand that there are consequences. Too often when people say "I can do whatever I want" they mean "I want to choose what I do AND choose how everyone reacts and not have to deal with any fallout from a bad decision." If she's going to act like an adult, then she's old enough to realize that the world isn't going to do what she wants it to.
Leave her a phone message or send her a letter if she won't talk to you. Tell her you love her, you miss her, but you cannot stand by her while she is making such poor decisions. Tell her you'll be there when she wants to fix things. Then leave it at that.
Give her time. A few years of being smacked around by real life will make her realize how much better life was with you in it.
2006-07-29 14:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out, primarily, if your ex partner and your daughter are legally married. If they are married, I would say that forgiveness is in order. However, if this man is still playing around with her affection and stringing her along in an illicit affair, then I would not forgive him. You should have immediately reported your daughter's leaving your home to live in an adutlerous relationship while she was still a minor. That would have involved the police and possibly solved the problem immediately. Now, if she is 18 and an adult, there is nothing you can do except wait until she comes to her senses because it is totally up to her, at this point.
I hope she realizes that she is hurting herself to disrespect and to disown a father who, obviously cares for her and might be the only person she will be able to turn to if and when this man, who apparently, has relationship and self-control issues treats her the same way he treated his ex-wife. Best wishes to you.
2006-07-29 14:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god hell no you shouldn't forgive him - you should file charges against him! What a slimy disgusting bastar*.
I'm confused - by ex partner do you mean your ex-boyfriend? And if so, do you mean to say he seduced your daughter, while he was with you? That's what I got from this, but I could be wrong. Anyway, if you decide not to do anything legally, I would just tell her that you won't forgive him, but that you still would like to have a relationship with her. Then wait for her to come around. It may take a while.
2006-07-29 14:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her. This will not have a pretty ending. She is not going to want to listen to you for a few years. She probably did this to rebel against you and will continue until you two can discuss whatever differences you have.
No matter how painful, if you decide to speak with her, you have to let her speak without saying anything. You have no choice but to start treating her like an adult..otherwise, you'll never get positive results. You're little girl will come back, but you have to give her the freedom to learn her own lessons.
Good luck.
2006-07-29 14:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by Tissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if she was 17 and he was 40 why didn't you report this to the police? She is a minor well I am not sure what state you live in. I think you should seek her and tell her that you disapprove of the relationship but that you still want to have a relationship with her and that you want her to come around your house without him. I hope you work your problems out. Good Luck!!
2006-07-29 14:22:33 · answer #6 · answered by Chuya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
isn't it your decision on where she lives until she is 18, if it were me i would do app i could to stop this, she might be mad at you for it now but i'm sure that down the road she will thank you for it
2006-07-29 14:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by jmarie09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience. And private detectives.
2006-07-29 14:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey those things happen. Yeah I'd just let slide.
2006-07-29 15:18:40 · answer #9 · answered by Suze O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the age of consent where you live?
2006-07-29 14:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋