my end of everything?

Question

hello Im bi guy and im 21 and what Im about to tell you is truth my partner died 2 days ago and he died im my arms and when I think of that it just makes me want to kill every hating people in this world full of fuc*king hate.He got killed by 2 men only because his sexual orientation .I really feel like I have nothing to do now that hes gone and all I want to do is kill me self to ...id rather do that than suffer. I always ask my self when will this hatred end!!it took my family,my friends and now this??the person I loved? now im fuc*king alone.I was those 3day in the hospital he was on come the last thing he told me was "ill miss you" and he died.. i couldnt stop crying...Im sharing this to all the people so they can realize that the world is crude and you need to take care of urselfs.. be strong,dont take nobodys ****.now all im trying to its to start my life again same as always but its hard to forget.thakx for reading .Peace

Answer 1

I'm so sorry that you lost your partner. I know that you are hurting terribly right now.

I'm sure that anyone in your position has though about suicide, but there are two things that you really REALLY have to remember here:

1. Your partner loved you, and would not want to see you kill yourself. I think that deep in your heart, you already know that. He would want you to be happy. (That will take time, but you will be happy again.)

2. If you hurt yourself, you give victory to the ones who killed him. You give the hateful people a 'one less fag in the world' gloat. There is great wisdom in the phrase 'sucess is the best revenge.'

Don't disrespect his love by letting it die with you. Keep it alive in your heart. If anything, begin to make plans for when you are older and have more financial resources, to maybe start a scholarship or charity in his name. That will give you something to focus on as the healing process begins.

I would also suggest that you seek out grief counseling, and surround yourself with friends. Both will give support during what is a very trying time. Don't try to do this alone if you can help it.

Answer 2

I am so very, very sad for you. I hope putting this on helps. I am hetero but I love you guy so very much. No I am not bi either. You guys help me open my mind and heart to a whole way of relating to people that can be so filled with joy.
Those guys that beat your friend up...really, too bad for them. I don't wish them death but rather that someday their eyes may be opened and really see the beauty in all kinds of relationships. They are just so very scared of themselves they will strike out at people like your friend.

You will be in my prayers. Remember the good times. Weep when you want. Find someone to be with to share this grief...but don't get sidetracked with going sexual. A true friend will be with you for your welfare...what is best for you. Peace...a distant friend.

Answer 3

WOW sweetheart that is deep. I hoep you feel better baby doll and if i were your next door neighbor i would bake some cookies for you and a pie. But since i am not i will send you some kisses and hugs. Time heals everything honey stay strong and one day you and your partner will find eachother again soon. Maybe not in this lifetime but the next. Lovers always find eachother. Get some sleep sweetheart. Just relax and take it day by day....little by little.

Kisses and hugs, Take care.

Answer 4

God's peace upon you. As a 40 yr old gay man I have lost 1 lover and several friends to AIDS and drugs. I know a few people who ahve been beaten for being themselves. It sucks. Anger is a normal response and is justified. I hope you can direct it into working for positive change and not let it eat you alive or destroy you. There are people that can help you chanel that rage into something productive. Please contact your neares MCC http://www.jesus.com or UCC http://www.ucc.org or look for an HIV/AIDS service organization near you. All three will have experienced berevement counselors, will be understanding and accepting of your orientation and be all too familiar with crimes of hate.

I pray you well. IF you need to vent more please feel free to e-mail me. [e-mail]

Answer 5

Use this experience to empower you to inspire change in the world. As a bi man you have to be stronger than most to fight the discrimination, but you can do this! You can be the voice for those who are afraid to speak. Take the time now to heal, it's a slow and sometimes painful road, but I know you can do it.

Answer 6

i'm sorry for you and your partner. No one whould have to go through what the both of you did. It terrifies me to think that this can happen. I beg you not to bring any harm to yourself. It hurts now... it will always hurt and you will always miss him, but you will move on. You will think about him always, but the pain will eventually subside. I can't even imagine how you're feeling, but i do know how it feeels to lose a loved one.

All the best, and take care.

Answer 7

You'll never forget, but remembering the good things more than the tragedy will get easier over time. He was lucky to have you at his side, and he'll expect you to go on and be a light in the darkness. Thank you for sharing your story.

Answer 8

You're gonna need help here. And there is lots of it available...can you call your doctor..a help line..anyone? I think that you should do it NOW. Your partner would not want this to be happening to you. Trust me doctors have the ability and are able to help you deal with this. One day you will feel differently about this event...the pain will never go away but it will dull so that you can have your good memories back. Please get help NOW.

Answer 9

Stay strong man. You might want to consider getting a therapist or going to a support group. I don't want you to be alone. And don't kill yourself.

Answer 10

I'll keep you in my prayers. Good luck and I am sorry to hear about your friend. Usually there is a lot of support in the gay community....are you reaching out to them, and accepting their help if they are offering?

Answer 11

I think you made this up.



Yep , its been 2 hours and no responce from asker - just another f@g wanting attention