Which excuse for not breastfeeding do you believe?

Question

I have heard every single lame excuse for not breastfeeding but there is only one that I truly believe. A good friend of mine told me that she didn't breastfeed because she didn't have a clue about breastfeeding and didn't know any better. See to me that's an honest answer because it's actually very true that there is very little support or information out there or support is not given unless they ask (unfortunately she is a single mom and can't afford internet). The other excuses, forget it. It's funny because when she told me this she looked at me ready to run in case I got on her case but I just looked at her and said "I'm not mad at you..that's the most honest answer I have ever heard"

A N you skinhead..is your mother your sister? Only a stupid hick would say something like that..and if you try to slap me i'll kill you, how's that?

Mommy Ong: Her "baby" is 17 now and I remember when i had my first the first thing they did was bring me formula. My mom was a labor and delivery nurse so she told me that I had to ask for breastfeeding help. Nursing wasn't as common back then as it is now.

amyvsn: I'm not asking you to give me your excuses! I'm pretty sure I have heard them all before. If you learn how to read, the question is "Which excuse for not breastfeeding do you believe?" If you don't know how to answer that then go fix your baby a bottle

kendalandsam: I'm going to hell? Why because I give the best to my children? I doubt it sweets. Find someone to blame your guilty feelings on.

myshira: WOW!! Those are great stories! I wish more mothers would seek the help and support..there are a lot of women who can breastfeed but lack the support and information. Thanks so much for your post about the bleeding nipples and the breast reduction.

Answer 1

I'm with you on this. Women don't breastfeed because someone convinces them that they can't, and they really want to believe this. I truly believe that when women get those "new mother" packages at their OB's (after pregnancy is confirmed), if instead of tons of samples and coupons for formula there were gift certificates for nursing bras and LLL informational packets, contact #s for LC, more women would think, "Ok, I can do this! There are people out there who can help!" It is SHAMEFUL how formula companies have conspired to convince women that they cannot perform one of the most basic roles of motherhood.

Having said that... there are a very few women who probably truly have issues and so must rely on formula (too bad formula isn't available by prescription only, like it is in Sweden...). Women who've had breast reduction/enlargement often have problems, and we still don't know enough about if HIV is transmitted through human milk, so I'd tend to err on the side of caution in that case.

FWIW, I've nursed through mastitis, c-section, following major surgery, and with a fever of 105 where I quite literally wondered if I would live out the night. The only difference between me and other women is that I have a great support system, and knew where to go when I've needed help.

Answer 2

OK, I am a lactation educator working on the hours for my lactation consultant training. I am also a postpartum mom/baby RN, nursery RN and have taught breastfeeding/childbirth classes. I have breastfed all my children ranging from 2 months (had to quit because she was 34 wks in NICU and didn't latch), 18 months, and now my 2 yr old who is still nursing!! At least 25% of my job is teaching moms to breastfeed, supplmenting via tube-at-breast, finger feeding, dropper, cup, pumping, massaging breasts, I do it all, every night. I am very pro-breastfeeding.

However, I think some women and babies have a lot of difficulty breastfeeding. Some women are very high strung and anxious, some have sexual issues with baring their breasts or having their breasts looked at, touched, sucked. Some women have flat or inverted nipples, some babies are sleepy, jaundiced, premature, biters, tongue thrusters, short frenulums, just not motivated eaters. Further, breastfeeding is sabotaged by family members, health care staff, exhausted moms, postpartum depression or baby blues, concern about going back to work & pumping, long labors, too many fluids and pitocin making breasts edematous, retained placenta (affecting milk supply) breast augmentation through nipples (cuts ducts if recent, will regenerate if in past), breast reduction (reduces or eliminates milk production.

When you have a few of these factors in both mom and baby, things can be very difficult. I think everyone should give breastfeeding a try. Take it a day at a time. You will soon realize if it's too much trouble and making you feel horrible/exhausted and frustrated. If you and/or baby are miserable breastfeeding, maybe it's not for you...

I will never make anyone feel bad for their choice to formula feed. I look at it this way: I may have breastfed my kids and gone without the epidural, but I have spanked my kids, I've made mistakes, I hate playdates, I don't scrapbook and I'm not a very good housekeeper. Mothering does not = breastfeeding. It's more than that. We can't all be good at everything - and that's ok.

Answer 3

Hi. This is sort of an excuse, but fits into your post. When I gave birth 7 months ago, I was told by the nurse that because I had a breast reduction and my nipple was disconnected or something like that, I couldn't breastfeed, so I didn't try. Now I find out from the La Leche group that I could have breastfed with a possible need for supplemental formula only if the baby wasn't getting enough breastmilk because of the surgery. Maybe someone should educate the nurses, as well.

Answer 4

Working in the medical field I know that there are several reason that women can not breastfeed. Some have cancer and need chemo, some take medication that will harm the baby, some women don't produce enough milk no matter what they try, and some have to work with at a job that doesn't help mothers who breastfeed by giving them time or a place to do it. I would rather them feed with formula then have them risk the child's life or the mother's life. You need to get over the fact that you can and others can't.That does not make you any better of a mother. Just lucky that you can and that you don't work I work on babies and breastfed babies get sick also. A mother who cares about their child is so much more important than if they get their food from a nipple or a bottle. Don't judge a women by how they feed their child just be happy that they love that child and are doing the best they can

Answer 5

I know a woman who produced literally *not a drop* of milk after giving birth. Once the colostrum was gone, she was dry. She was a La Leche League Leader, so there was no question that it was just an excuse. Turned out it was a hormonal imbalance caused by her having bled profusely (think emergency, every doctor on staff called to her bedside to stop it) at the birth. I know of a few women who have PCOS who never quite get a full milk supply and both nurse and give formula. And I have a friend who had breast reduction surgery and wasn't able to fully lactate with her first child because of damage to the breasts, but she nursed exclusively by using a nursing supplementer (with formula). I think she did nurse later children exclusively as her breasts healed more.

Other excuses I've heard that are legitimate include chemotherapy for cancer--better a bottle fed baby with a living mother!! But for almost every other drug, either it's safe or there's a safe alternative. I even know of women who have nursed after having been given drugs that are supposed to dry up their milk. (Most of the time they don't work, including the drugs that even Dr. Hale says will irreversibly dry up the milk!!)

I don't know of any, but a woman who has had a double mastectomy obviously can't nurse, and that's the reason that works best of all.

Answer 6

The lack of support and medical problems are ones I truely believe in. Every soon to be first time mom I know, I try my hardest to be there for her.

The medical issues (mom or baby) and lack of mik are two others I also believe in.
--I have one SIL who literally did not produce any milk and had some other breast issues that arose from the pregnancy (including bleeding from the nipples) - there is a family history of breast cancer there.
--My other SIL had a needed breast reduction as a teen and did not produce any milk for any of her babies.
--A friend of mine did the SNS (supplemental nursing system) to breastfed her two kids. She just didn't produce enough milk, but went on to nurse her babies as toddlers. If she didn't have the support, detremination, the LLLI help and knowledgeable medical professionals around her, she probably would have given up and stuck to bottles.
-- Another friend of mine had a baby with such a weak suck and she ended up exclusively pumping for 5-6 months before baby weaned off the bottle and WENT TO BREAST! I'm still truely amazed at her determination and "self-strength" to make it though those early hard months, even after the pedi insisted that she should "just go with formula becuase its easier on you"

I could go on. There are several moms in my play group that ended up bottlefeeding the first and breastfeeding the second because they didn't have the knowledge, the help or the support to do so.

Answer 7

Unfortunately your friend's answer is not totally honest, but perhaps it makes her feel better to think so. The La Leche league has many volunteers that help out breastfeeding mothers. As another poster wrote, the nurses at the hospital work with you and help you with technique. I knew zero about babies, but the nurses helped tremendously.
The only good reasons I can think of for not breastfeeding is if the baby is unable to nurse because of size or confinement, if the mother is unable because of taking medically required medications that would pass through to the milk, if the mother is not producing milk, or if the mother or child has other physical or medical problems that would prohibit nursing.
Also, some mothers need to return to work because they are the sole support of a home, or must help supplement the household income. They all have at least one month of childbirth leave, and can nurse at least one month. The health advantages to the child are related to the amount of mother's milk the child receives, the more the better.

Answer 8

What the hell is wrong with you? You really need to find a hobby, like knitting or something, or why dont you go pop one of those Zolofts you claim to be on that you are so obviously neglecting to take. No one here likes you, or cares to hear your rants about being part of the 15th Boob Militia, Delta Company. Good for you, and good for your kids. Now can you please move on? For goodness sake, this is trolling and idiocracy at it's absolute finest, plus, didn't you threaten to KILL someone? I have half a mind to call the feds on you myself, you might be literally cukoo enough to do it. Hell, a lot of nutty assed mothers are BREASTFEEDERS...Andrea Yates comes to mind, blech. Either way I'm reporting you, and as for your assanine and persistent query...I think professional answered it best for you. You have a real tactful way of puttting things, (NOT!!) you may want to try and change that.

Anyways, for the record, I'll share my experience. I pumped for my first for 10 months because I was not in the military. I had my second in the military, only got 6 weeks con leave, so guess what? I only pumped for 4 months and that was it. Had to go to the field, had to perform duties as a soldier, Had to train up to DEFEND stupid people like you to have the right to say the dumb asssed $hit you are allowed to say. You're welcome,@sshole. And theres my reason for not breastfeeding until my kid was 13.

Edited to add: Oh, and whoever would run from a punk like you must be a punk. I see you choose your friends like you are, coward weaklings you can intimidate. I really hope someone in real life puts you in your place one day, maybe even to the point of getting a misdemeanor for slapping the living piss water out of your lame assed self.

Answer 9

I agree with you! That is the most honest answer I've heard. When I had my daughter 2 and 1/2 years ago, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and told the nurses not to five her any bottles. BUT, not one nurse "showed" me how to breastfeed. I was lost! I had to ask for help on breastfeeding. Once I asked, I was confident. I exclusively breastfed her for 6 months and then supplemented with solids. I breastfed her for 14 months.

When I had my son 6 months ago, every single nurse in the hospital wanted to help me. LOL I didn't need the help that time around, go figure, huh?

Answer 10

BEST EXCUSE - moms who have had to be on medications that are TRUELY not compatible with breastfeeding. Unfortunately, most docs don't know where to get the best info on this and go to the PDR instead of to Hale's "Medications & Mothers' Milk" which is *THE* source for this info.

WORST EXCUSE - "Those are for my husband."

JAYNEDOE- The fact that you had mastitis so early on leads me to believe that you needed more help in the early days with breastfeeding. If you had been nursing often enough and your baby had been latching on properly, you should not have gotten plugged ducts or mastitis. They are both things that can be avoided with proper breastfeeding management and can be treated and cured. They aren't valid reasons for weaning because they can be fixed easily.

NVONE - Babies who have reflux typically do BETTER on breastmilk than on formula.