what does it feel like?

Question

what does it feel like to get fingered and does it hurt?

My boyfriend wants to finger me at a party on monday but i dont no if i should because no1 has fingered me b4 and i think its going to hurt.
i dont like using tampons aswell as they make me tense even thought im relaxed, dont just tell me 2 relax because believe me it doesnt work with me! hehe so i dont no what to do, i feel like im going fridgid but im not, and how do you giv sum1 a BJ lol i know this sounds like a descusting question but i dont no and i need help badly! i havnt even kissed a boy because i didnt feel comfortable incase he thought i was rubbish at it lol, help! Thanks x

By the way there is a private room so i wont b in front of every1 lol! :P xx

Answer 1

First off, performing any sexual act for the first time at a party is a horrible idea. Your first sexual experiences should always be in a comfortable setting where you can take your time to do things right. While I'm not saying the thrill of doing things in a publice setting isn't fun or exciting, it is just simply NOT the best place to practice doing something new (unless you want to be caught by people who would notice just how awkward your situation really is).

As for what fingering feels like, and whether or not you would enjoy it, it simply comes down to how much patience and experience your boyfriend has. If he is just as inexperienced as you are, you will need to assure that he goes very slowly, taking time to actually have you turned on enough to lubricate his fingers well before entering. Also, before he even gets to that point, make sure his hands are clean, and his nails trimmed to avoid potential problems.

As for the actual act of penetration, have him start out with only one finger, slowly massaging your opening WITHOUT going in. This will help your body have time to react to him a bit more, and also relaxes the muscles around your opening so that things can go a bit easier. When a woman is ready for insertion, the man can feel it, as everything just "loosens up", and is fully lubricated. Also, depending on how your body is, and assuming you still have a hymen, don't expect anything to make it in "safely" on the first try. I had one girlfriend when I was younger who could literally only fit a pinky finger at first, who took over a week of daily "excercise" to stretch to fit two fingers. Once you can fit a finger or two without any pain, have him make a "pincher" movement with a thumb on your clitoris, and the finger(s) rubbing/pulling up towards your belly button. As the finger(s) curl upwards, he should feel a soft rounded ridge with a slight depression... that's your g-spot (and the whole reason for fingering). Tell him what feels good, and bad, while he's doing it to help him along as well.

The point...? Take your time and communicate!

As for how to give a BJ, you're more or less on your own for that one...lol My advice would be to look for "Nina Hartley's Guide to Better Fellatio" on a peer-2-peer network such as Shareazza, or do what I had my first GF do.... pretend it's a popsicle that's slowly melting.

I hope that helps you out, and feel free to find me if you need anymore hints or ideas, as I've been helping people have better sex since high school...lol

PS- One point I can't emphasize enough is to BE RELAXED FIRST and GO SLOW. Also, avoid things such as alcohol, as people mistakenly think it will numb you up for it when it really just makes it worse. Just have him talk to you, massage you, maybe even soak in a warm bath first.... romance has been around for centuries for a reason. Use it to your advantage. ;)

Answer 2

Here's the thing. It's your body and your mind and you get to choose.

Do not let your boyfriend (or anyone else) whine, wheedle, cajole, pressure, or shame you into doing something that you don't want to do. Period. You'll feel much better about yourself if you keep to this simple rule.

You're not frigid, you're just not ready. There's a big difference.

About your sex questions ...

If you are a virgin, "fingering" might hurt some if it is done to vigorously and stretches or even breaks your hymen.

For the rest, I recommend the books "The Senuous Man" and "The Senuous Woman". Read them both. Then you'll know what you like and what your bf might like.

Good Luck. Take Care. Stay Well.

Answer 3

Why do you want to do, first second and third base all in one night? What would all the people at school think? They wont be calling you frigid they'll be calling you a ****! And imagine if your parents found out... they'd be so ashamed of their daughter doing that sort of stuff at a PARTY!?
Do you really really like your boyfriend? If you feel really comfortable with him, you wont get nervous but doing these things at a party will make you even more worried someone's going to catch you and wont be able to relax.
Its really nice to have your first kiss with someone you really like, and even better to have it because you want to show him you like him not to 'get it out of the way' but its your desision.
If I were you I would tell your boyfriend that since he hasnt kissed you yet, he's the frigid one and dump him.
Then I'd meet someone who didnt want to just use me to get to the next base and enjoy getting to know him before I let him touch me like that.
If tampons hurt then being fingered will do too. You need to take control of the situation, guide his hand down and show him how many fingers you want him to use (one first!)
And I wouldnt give him a ********... he may have aids.

Answer 4

All this stuff should only be done when YOU feel comfortable and because you feel like it at the time. to be honest, when you plan this kind of stuff it turns out pretty crap... it's best to let it just happen when YOU want it to and then it usually feels nice. If you don't feel like it it'll feel horrible. One thing to remember about thinking you are rubbish at kissing is that everyone thinks like that when they are younger... even the good kissers worry about being rubbish... and what feels good to one person might feel rubbish to another. Hope this helps a little bit :)

Answer 5

Don't do it if you have any reservations about it. And certainly don't do it at a party, where it could all go completely **** up in front of a lot of people.

Can't he finger you some place a bit more private? Without alcohol?

I'll leave the BJ question to the girls!! ;-)

Answer 6

are you thistle? you weren't that complicated questioner? lol when you feel you are in love it is just feel and most of the time feels don't work good enough when you feel it in your heart then analyze it with your mind then you can be sure that is a feeling you never had before.

Answer 7

just by you asking this question is saying you are not ready to do any of it...you will know when the time is right and when this day does happen you wont be nervous at all because it all comes naturally to you...don't worry about am i doin this and that wrong just open your mind and you will find relaxing is not hard...

Answer 8

first I think you should start with kissing. get used to that first. then work your way up to the fingering. it shouldn't hurt much when you do as long as he's careful with you. it helps when you are with a guy you are in love with.

Answer 9

I agree with laura H. Also I don't think you're ready for this and maybe he's not the right one to have your first experience of intimacy with. When you're ready and the time and person are right for you, you won't need to ask, it'll just happen .

Answer 10

If you don't feel comfortable then you should'nt be doing anything more than kissing honey. You are young and need to learn how your body works sexually. You've a lot to learn and plenty of time.