Why do women try to justify not being married?

Question

Now I am talking specificially about those that are like "we have been together for 8 years and we are not married but we have a loving realationship."
Ok wait hold up...you mean to tell me your okay with that? Honey, your lying to yourself. Look me in the eye and tell me that it is not eating you up the fact that he has not proposed to you yet. Your fooling yourself. Most likely he has not asked because he does not want to committ to you. No marriage? no problem, there is nothing binding him legally to you. Why don't you women WAKE UP!!!

Come and answer and try to justiy it, but you will only make yourselves look more foolish and desperate.

Answer 1

What's it matter to you? From what I'm reading of your past questions, you sit and judge others, while calling in sick (several times you've mentioned that in questions), and taking pain killers. Ok, what makes you better than other people? Is your honey just not proposing? Do you even have a boyfriend?

Some people are not cut out for marriage. Others have been divorced before and are not willing to make the leap to try it again, judging on the way their last marriage happened.

I really don't think anyone needs to sit here and tell YOU just why THEY are not married yet. You still live at home, you can't go to work regularly, you take pain killers to get through the day, and you apparently can't stand your friends kids. Yeah, you're a freaking princess.

Answer 2

You're the one that looks foolish. First, check your facts, there are States that recognize common-law marriages, and after seven years of living togetherer, they are considered as married as my husband and I are. So, yes there is something legally binding if you are together that long.
My aunt has been with the same man for 18 years, and they have never married. My sister and her boyfriend have been togeth for over 12 years, and still happy! And I'm sure there are a ton of other people out there that have been in long lasting relationships for years without ever getting married.
You sound really bitter, so I'm guessing someone didn't ask you to marry them after you were together for years. Or are you just one of those people that think all women should be married by a certain age? You're sad!

Answer 3

I partially agree. I see where you are coming from when the comment is made by someone in a long relationship.

But what about a single female?

I am so tired of being asked why I am not married yet. Especially by the little old ladies that come into my business and seem to think that being single is a disease. I used to say I was holding out for Ms. America, or something funny, but they insisted on knowing what was "wrong". I'm young, attractive, smart and successful, so what's the problem? I can't say it's because I haven't found mr. right, because then the "good samaritan" wants to hook me up on a blind date. God forbid that I say I enjoy my freedom, because noone believes me. So I tell them the horrible truth... I have witnessed too many divorces in my life and seen too many married couples who are miserable. I would rather make my own money, party with my friends and enjoy a few dates here and there. There's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 4

Maybe because the woman doesn't want to be bound to HIM. I don't know if you've been burned, but please don't pass judgement on others for how they conduct their relationships.

Who are you to define love, and how love should work for others? All that marriage is, is a legal contract. A piece of paper. Committment is NOT binding because of this piece of paper. If the couple is going to love eachother, be faithful and support eachother, it's because of love, trust, faith and loyalty. Not because a contract told them to.

If a couple is going to cheat, lie, hurt and betray eachother...it has nothing to do with a contract.

You cannot rule the heart, or emotions.

I am not a straight woman, but my best friend is, and she's been helping me answer this question. She says that she agrees with everything I've written.

We know that most women are brought up with this fairy tale notion of marriage. Prince charming and the whole deal. It really doesn't exist. LOVE IS WORK. Things don't just fall into your lap. And how can you determine what is or is not a loving relationship, and what works or doesn't work for others.

If you want marriage, that's great. If you've been in a relationshp that didn't end in marriage and you thought it should, I'm sorry. Just don't judge everyone else by your experiences.

Answer 5

I don't try to justify it.. I just don't want to get married. But then, I'm not in the situation you are describing. This is just how I feel. It's no secret to anyone who knows me.

Sounds like you're in that situation though. Best of luck to you.

Some women hold on hoping he will and others don't want the commitment marriage brings, especially those who have already been divorced.

Answer 6

Maybe he did and she said, "No, let's not mess this up, honey." And he said, "Okay."

Not everyone has the nesting instinct. (And who says it has to be the man who asks? This is the new millenium, Betty Crocker, YOU wake up!)

For the person who said the U.S. is "behind" the civilized world: The law states that everyone owns their own property. If she bought it for them, well it's still hers...she bought it! Some states (very few) have common law marriage. If you live like husband and wife for a certain period of time, then you have to get a divorce.
As for being behind everyone...in some ways, yes we are. In others, no we're not. It's the same for all countries. There's no need for nastiness.

Answer 7

Why are you so upset that someone is not married? MAYBE SHE is the one who doesnt want to commit. Would I date someone for 8 years with no plans of marriage...NO. Do I care if people date and never get married...NO. What works for some people doesnt work for others. "Binding legally" doesnt mean crap! Some married people still cheat, fight and have crappy lives together. BETTER NOT MARRIED THAN DIVORCED!

Answer 8

Or "We don't need a piece of paper to prove our love..."

I think it's much more romantic to know the risks of marriage and still be willing to jump in with both feet than to stand on the edge and dip a toe in...

They're desperate. They've got a severe settle-for attitude- they'd rather settle for a guy that won't commit than be alone.

The people (men AND women) who co-hab are chicken, at least to me. They're ALL afraid to commit, afraid to risk.

BTW- Idaho state law, you can claim common-law marriage after ony 6 months...

Answer 9

HEY HEY !!! TO EACH THIER OWN GIRL !! that would eat YOU up . Not everybody feels like you do . Some women are so confident in thier love and commitment that they dont need that paper to feel secure in thier love and TO ME , that kinda love is the greatest love you can find .
This is a third person perspective because Im single ( outside looking in ) Thats my opinion . I just think it feels better to know your loved than to be legally proved .

Answer 10

I think you are going about this all wrong... Maybe the women in question are a little (or a lot) wealthier than their counterpart. Maybe they are catting around on their boyfriend, and the reason they don't want to get married is because if they were married and got caught committing adultery she would then have to fork over half of her money. Think about it...