Why don't people get married and THEN have children?

Question

This lady that I'm friends with has a son, and he and his girlfriend recently had a baby. They'll be getting married in late August, so their baby will already be 5 months old on their wedding day.

Why don't couples do things in the right order by getting married and THEN having kids?

Answer 1

Honestly, that's the only things stopping my fiance and me. We want a baby SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad!!! We want to get married first and that won't be until 2007. We just feel that it'll be easier after we're married with the last name thing of course and when the baby is born I want us all to have the same last name!

Answer 2

Because that's the way they did things in the dark ages. Now women have the right to vote, work, and have babies. Don't let society tell you that you have to be bogged down to some stupid man to have a child because the fact of the matter is a lot of women have the children after they are married and the cheating husband walks out with the girl and leaves the wife stuck with the kids. And I can tell you first hand that we raise our children way better than any man ever could. Not only that but if we left it up to the men to have kids the population would come to a screeching halt. Trust me. So I would rather have the baby minus the man. WAY LESS headaches.

Answer 3

Most folks are just running on hormones and don't think before they act. They just do the deed for the pleasure of it not thinking of the consequences.

The actual marriage ceremony no longer means the same thing as it once did. Our society does things at a much faster pace due to the advent of technology and so the ceremony is more of a show for others to see.

Historically the marriage ceremony was more like a legal act and meant more. The family unit did as well. It was a great undertaking for everyone to get together. Those who live in rural areas still do things the old way as life goes much slower.

Answer 4

Come on now dear this is the 21st century

Theres a right order? Iv been with my partner for 8 yrs this October and we have got two beautiful intelligent well behaved polite little boys .......and we aren't married yet. As long as you look after your kids and love dearly and love and respect your partner and are incredibly happy why do you need to get married? they don't love each other or there child any less because they aren't married yet stop turning your nose up at other people and judging them because they didn't do things in your 'right order'

Answer 5

Who do you think you think are...what makes you think you know the "right" order is? People have been having kids prior to marriage all throughout the course of human history, some parents have never gotten married either because of their culture, financial status, time period, or the society they live in accepts thier decicion and doesn't pass judgment or push ideals on them...also, many couples in America these days are married by common law before they have kids, and therefore are following the "correct" order...don't judge others lest you be judged yourself...

Answer 6

it is interesting how now a days it seems to be the norm rather than the exception. people are having sex before marriage and accidentally get pregnant. then afterwards they feel they should get married or are forced into marriage by both parents. this usually doesn't work out, in the end the couple winds up getting divorced. i know there are people out there who will say that it doesn't always happen that way, but i've seen more cases than not work out that way. if we went back about 20-30 years people's morals would be different and there would be more marriages than kids happening first.

Answer 7

Our society is much more accepting of single parenthood these days. Back when my parents were born, in the 30's and 40's, a woman was "sent away" and she put her baby up for adoption -- or she married the baby's father immediately, and a story was made-up about a premature birth, etc.

If people would wait until marriage to have sex, they wouldn't be having babies out of order.

Answer 8

The simple answer would be: Sexual maturity precedes mental maturity, result --> oops, I should have worn a condom!
But if you are so concerned about ethical matters, then you should actually welcome that they do the "Honorable thing".
Pre- or extra- martial babies have been around since the status of marriage has been established.
In the good old days (which weren't all that "good"), such babies were often "hidden" with foster parents .... if not eliminated altogether.
Nowadays, since it doesn't seem to be a shame to marry pregnant or even as a parent, a "late" marriage still seems the better option to me.

Answer 9

Not everyone views marriage the same way as you do. Many people have kids together and stay together for the rest of their lives and never get married. Some people see it as important and others don't. I am not religious and when my husband and I got married it was only so I would be covered on his insurance when I did get pregnant. If I would have been covered anyway we wouldn't have bothered with the marriage.

Answer 10

Because the times have changed...therefore the old school way of doing things is no longer followed as much. Now the way to do things is have kids and then get married...eventually..maybe not to the baby's dad or mom but that has to do with rushing things and not taking the time to enjoy their life together a lil more. its sad how many single parents there are out there... but what doesnt kill them only makes them stronger.

Answer 11

Cuz it is this attitude the world has to try something on first to see if you like it or it fits. If it dont you can discard it like yesterdays trash.
Its not fair for either party , but it is fun and that is all anyone cares about anymore. They dont care that the children haft to grow up knowing that the parents wanted to play before they made a commitment and most likely the child will follow in the parents footsteps.