My wife doesnt clean the house, empty the garbage or do the laundry on a regular basis?

Question

I work two full time jobs to support my family and only get about three to four hours of sleep a day. The rest is work. My wife doesnt work. But just stays at home to raise our daughter. She doesnt do anything else. The laundry piles up and so does everything else. We constantly fight over this. I have no time to do it or I would. I work about 90 to 100 hours a week. What should I do?

Answer 1

Put your foot down and tell her that she needs to start helping out around the house.I'm a mother of a 1 year old daughter and also stay home.There is never a minute that goes by that I'm not cleaning or picking something up.I would think that she should clean the house,empty the garbage,do the laundry,have supper cooked for when you come home and raise yall daughter the right way.If she stays home all day,what is she doing that she cant do these things for you.

If I were you I would tell her that she needs to make changes in her life and start being a wife and do what a wife should do.There is no reason why your house should be that way.I know if my husband came home to this after working a hard day at work and find that I didnt do anything all day.he would sit me down and tell me that I need to and it is my job to do this.You are working 2 jobs to support your family.The best thing your wife could do is help and pull her weight.I hope she starts helping.Seems she has a good man,but doesnt see it yet.Good Luck

Answer 2

Well just on behalf of your wife. I am pregnant and I have a one year old. Children can be very demanding and you are chasing them around. I know that I may let the dishes and laundry pile up but I do get to it eventually. When my daughter takes naps I try to do a little. I am also very tired so I try to get a little sleep as well. I know that it may take a little time but it gets done. As long as you don't have roaches crawling around and she does do it give her a little consideration. You have to think that if you are working 90-100 hours a week that leaves her alone with your child. Now if you have a school age child then she really has no excuse but with young children it can be very hard to get anything done. I don't even get to take a shower until like 10pm. My husband doesn't want me to do laundry after she goes to bed because he knows that the washer and dryer will wake her up. Just talk to her and let her know how it makes you feel. I know that she may try to do a little more but watch out she could tell you where to shove it. I went back to work for a little while that way my husband could see how it was to clean and watch a baby. I had to quit working due to my pregnancy but it is hard.

Answer 3

Sit her down and calmly tell her that she must start helping the relationship or it is doomed. Explain to her that you love her and your daughter, but she must help around the house or get a job to help releave some stress on you. If she thinks she shouldn't do the house work and that you must do it then she needs to help you by relieveing stress of one of those full time jobs. EVERONE IS CAPABLE OF WORKING SOME WAY! Tell her you do not think she is commited to you, your daughter, or the relationship. If she was then she would want the house to be clean, laundry done, and food made. She is a stay at home mother to do these things. It is not because of the sterotype of women have to but it is because she is not working and she stays home by choice. Tell her your feelings. However when you do this be polite and nice. If it starts to get heated then have the intelligence to walk away and let each other cool down then come back to it later after things have cooled down. good luck.

Answer 4

Tell a wife that doesn't do these things (especially if you work 2 jobs and she stays at home) is like a Corvette that doesn't have an engine..... Nice to look at but it does you NO DAMN GOOD!!!
Tell her you are doing your part take care of hers. If she doesn't want to clean and stuff then get a job and help support the family like you do. I'd even suggest for her to get a job and pay for a house cleaner. so that you can get a break and stop working one of those jobs. Also let her know if she can't get a job making the same kind of money you are then she needs to work at home and get to cleaning.

Answer 5

Your wife could be going through depression, especially as you work so much and when you are home you asleep. She is feeling so lonely and then after having a kid, she could be going through more than you know. Talk to her and find out what's going on! If you've known her to be a clean neat person before then there is certainly depression on her part. But if she has always been untidy and like a dirty house then it is a form of laziness. You two need to talk. And you seriously need a break to spend some time with your family.

Answer 6

This is a sign that she is severely depressed. She needs a therapist , and for now if you can afford it hire someone to clean at least once a month. She's not going to be able to do anything if the depression is as severe as it sound. It's a really tough situation you're in. I think she's ill, and needs help, but you're too angry with her to help just now. So get some help, and get her therapy for depression and medicine. I've been through this too and I can tell you it works.
Also, you need help with the house! Can a family member come over and help?
As hard as it seems, don't yell at her. See her as ill, or needing help. Go give her a hug and tell her you believe in her and support her. That's what women need. Read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Hugs, not yelling - she'll really respond.
Just like a kitten responds to petting :)

Answer 7

SAY WHAT !!!......you work a 100 hours a week ??? no wonder your laundry piles up i'm suprised you got the energy to get dressed fella !!.....say,..you two people best get some time out in a hotel and to hell with the chores,,your dear wife is struggling with her 24 / 7 routine just as much.
do you honestly think she is lazy ?? she may not be motivated...when was the last time you told her that you love her?? ...huh ??... you work hard , you need the cash to live....yeah sure..... but when you are truly loved by someone that you are in love with ...man ...that something that cold cash cant get you. ... assess each others needs, write a letter to each other and post it . read them out aloud over coffee at breakfast
. express what you both are lacking...... above all....BE HONEST, truthfull, and forthright or you arn't gonna make christmas......and its difficult pulling a cracker on your own .....best wishes. good luck. your wife isn't a machine. and niether are you.....machines breakdown.

Answer 8

She's depressed, try to get to the root of the problem...She's probably lonely that you're not around...doesn't get out much and gets to the point where she just doesn't feel like it...maybe being a stay at home mom isn't for her...she might be missing work...if you both worked, then you could share the house work...hope you find a solution...

Answer 9

I am so sorry to hear tormoil in someones homes,
but it happens.I think you should tell her that her nastiness not only effects the home at the present time but she is teaching your daughter to be felthy. You should explain to her how it is embarassing to your family because your family is thinking and talking about how nasty your wife is. And how frustrating it is because you can not invite your friends over because of fear that they will talk about you behind your back.And beside she doesn't work and there is no reason why that house should not be clean.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear that, that is exactly what I have been going through for 10 years (married for 20). Now she sends me papers for divorce cuz we can't get along and she says I mean to her. In her mind,,,,, I mean cuz I point out that the house is a mess and she sits around and does nothing while I work 55 hours a week.

So is life my friend, there are good women and bad ones.