Is it true that in order to be happily married you have to loosen the ties to your parents?

Answer 1

Yes. Marriage requires work between the two of you to really do well, let alone the six of you (plus step-parents).

They're great for looking after the grandkids though!

Answer 2

Of course you have to loosen the ties to your parents, but that is just called growing up and has nothing to do with marriage. When you are married you have your own family to worry about and maintain and care for and that has to be your main priority, then you add work and bills and car problems and everything else in life so naturally your parents take a back seat.

Answer 3

It depends! If your parents are cool and would give you good advice in making a marriage work then why loosen the ties.

Then again, if your parents don't like your spouse as much, then it is best not to report every misunderstandings and arguments that happen between you and your spouse. Your parents would only get involved and cause more conflicts and could lead to tearing your marriage apart. Most parents are like that though only few are cool.

You should know your parents well enough to know if they would give good or bad advice.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

this is what I think,

I believe marriage is something between two people no one else until children are involved, seem that if the family is too involved they put there two cents in way to often, I believe you should do what you think is right. I don't think you need to loosen ties with you family to have a happy marriage, but I don't think you should keep them ties to tight either... family is always the best but when it comes to putting there two cents in (it can result in an unhappy marriage) but if two people love each other they overcome all and every obstacle they are given. Always keep family close to your heart but not close to your marriage (that's what my grandmother use to tell me)....Have a great day ans good luck with you decision

Answer 5

I don't think so. People can be happily married, even when they live next door, or in the same house, as their parents.
Sometimes parents create problems for their married children. Sometimes the parents help their married children to reach happiness in the marriage.
It all depends on the circumstances.

Answer 6

Very true - you have to change your relationship with your parents from child/parent to adult/adult. You don't want to tell your parent all the bad things going on in your relationship because no matter how great your spouse is, they are NEVER good enough for a parent of their 'baby' - and telling them things enforces that thinking. Keep a good relationship but some things are better left unsaid - unless there is abuse in the relationship and then all rules are thrown out the window.

Answer 7

Not nessecarily. Parents can play a big role in a marriage, but do not let their opinion of you and your relationship get in the way and cause fights. Some things can be cut like going over there constantly but every so often for holidays and special things is important. Make time for yourself and your relationhsip. Good luck.

Answer 8

Well yes because you should be developing your own family now. Continuing to be dependent is still being a child. Better to be a wife who visits the parents.Two people need to be partners. If one partner comes with a set of back up parents then the balance is off.

Answer 9

Depends on what you mean by "loosen"

You have to become a mature adult -- ideally you woudl have been when you got engaged and then married. But you do this by realizing that you are responsible for your own life and that your new family is you and your husband (and kids). You should not ALLOW your parents to control or have too mush influence on the decisions you and your husband make for YOUR family.

Notice I said YOU should not allow -- b/c it is parent's nature to want to have input, or to control. So you have to be the mature adult and allow the amount of input you think is healthy for your new family. By being stron glike this and always having the interest and sanctity of your husband and your family with him as the top priority you will make the right decisions and know how to put limits on your parents.

I have a VERY involved mother -- and I like that she cares so much she can't help but tell me what to do with my life / husband / child, etc, etc.. but I only listen to her input and then my husband and I make our own decisions and if she ever says anything that begins to sound like a criticism of my family / spouse I stop it right there -- just say, "OK I'm leaving now b/c I don't need to hear that" or "if you;re going to criticize / tell me what to do I should just get going now b/c I am not going to hear it..."

And then you have to follow-through. Your parents will follow your lead once they see that you are serious and that you have limits on what behaiour of theirs you will welcome and what you will not tolerate.

When your husband sees you acting like this -- like his wife that protects your marriage and family -- then he will also act like your man and have so much motivation to be a great husband. If he sees that you just bow to whatever your parents say and that you let them influence your life with him, then he will not be motivated to protect you as a wife and you're headed for trouble from there on...

So love your parents, thank them for raising you and welcome them into your life as a wife, but take the responsibilities of a wife and place your husband above all and enforce limits on what you allow to be said and happen in your married life.

GOOD LUCK -- great questions, glad to see you are putting serious thought into an important issue :)

Answer 10

In my experience, yes. Don't cut the ties completely, but realize that it's you and your spouse not you, your spouse, his parents, your parents, and everybody else. What I had to do was think of my own decisions and know that what I wanted was final. Parents have their own agendas when it comes to their children. They want you happy but they also are biased so if you went to them for advice they would tell you what's best for you not what's best for your marriage. Understand?