I've been with my guy for 11 years now. We have 2 kids. I knew when I met him back when we were teens that he was a spontaneous guy. So I am really relaxed about him having golf days and hanging with his buddies. I take my time out too. My question is this. Am I too easy going when he is going out 4 out of 7 days when I go out about once a week? I am content with the time we have together because it's quality and we joke around and flirt like we did years ago, sex life is good. But is it too much?
2006-07-29 10:59:07 · 11 answers · asked by Michelle F 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, the reason I am asking is because whenever my girlfriends call and ask where he is they comment on how often he's away so wanting to know what everyone else's are doing so I can figure out why they think it's so odd. Oh, and when he is home he's a great dad.
2006-07-29 11:15:20 · update #1
no. In a healthgy relationship you each need your own space to do your own thing. Every relationship is unique and as long as the two of you are happy and it works for you, whose buisness is it to say wether it's too much. It might not work for someone else but it works for you. You are happy leave it alone.
2006-07-29 11:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by kellieg8801 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me that you have already answered your own question. How much time he spends away from home, out with the guys, is really a personal matter, of which standards only you can make. If you feel you get plenty of time together and he is more the social kinda person I don't see anything wrong with him spending that much time out. As long as your marriage, children and home aren't neglected I don't think it should be a matter of how many days out of the week.
On the flip side, you asking this question may mean that you, yourself may want to see him spend a couple more nights at home, or are you wanting to spend a little more time not at home yourself? Only you can be the judge of this. Sorry I couldn't give a more Black and White answer but that's my opinion.
2006-07-29 11:09:26 · answer #2 · answered by redtoolips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it works for you, then don't mess with it. Personally, I would be upset if my guy went out with the guys 4 out of 7 days. My faince and I live together. He goes to the train club (he collects model trains and belongs to a club where they do the same) once a week--if he doesn't have to work late that night, sees his daughters at least once a week, and sees friends off and on. So, he is home after work pretty much every night. I don't mind him going to see his kids, to the train club, or to see his friends, I just don't want him doing this every night. He knows this and doesn't do it every night. But, this is what works for us. It depends on the couple and their personalities and what works for them.
2006-07-29 13:18:43 · answer #3 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can be the judge if it is healthy enough... if your content then why is wondering acrossed your mind ?
Sure he takes more time "off" than you do that is def noticed... but if it is bothering you then step up and say something...
My man doesn't actually go out.. he takes a morning or afternoon some weekends to ride 4-wheelers with his newphew, but that is still here so he pops in and out... he used to shoot pool and wanted me to go all the time, but after I quit going so he could go and have fun while I stayed home to scrapbook, he quit going and isn't interested anymore..
2006-07-29 11:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by nknicolek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow 4 to 7 days a week? dammmmmmmmmmm oooo yea thts to much u have two kids? wht happened to family time not jus time together? in the long run ur kids are goin to matter the most.... and i would tell him he can go out once a week and another day his buddies can come to ur place or something and y can't u go woth him? get a babysitter and go... welp im out ~1~real
2006-07-29 11:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by real 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, I know that I am a male and I don't do much with my buddies now that we have a baby but if you are happy with your relationship then don't let your friends convience you that your husband is a bad person. If when you are together it is as you describe then I would tell your friends that you are fine with it and don't let them influence you or you will end up divorced, guarentee it!!!
2006-07-29 11:42:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does not "go out with the guys." Anytime there is drinking, just hanging out, whatever, we go together. We hang out with other couples, and neither one of us isolates the other.We're best friends, so why not act like it?
2006-07-31 07:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by ShineOnYouCrazyDiamond 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you a question: the friends who make comments, are they as happy and fulfilled in their relationships as you are in yours? If not, why do you give any thought to their comments at all?
2006-07-30 17:10:44 · answer #8 · answered by feelgood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it working for you dont try to make an issue now.
If YOU unhappy about it, talk to him. Please dont rock the boat because your friends find he out too much.
The key thing u said was.." I am content with the time we have together"
2006-07-29 11:07:35 · answer #9 · answered by Stacy J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a bit excessive. My guy goes out once a week.
2006-07-29 11:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋