My husband is not cheating on me but he doesn't have the same sex drive as we had before. Ideas?

Answer 1

Inhibited desire is the most common sexual dysfunction, effecting one in three couples. 20% of married couples have a non-sexual marriage (being sexual less than ten times a year) and 30% of non-married-couples who have been together longer than two years have a non-sexual relationship. Desire problems can drain intimacy and good feelings from the relationship.

Stress can have an enormous effect on a man's sex drive. Even if he doesn't express it... or seems the same in all other aspects of his life, stress does affect men (and women) physically. It's important to talk to him about the lack of interest. But make sure you don't make him defensive. Whatever the reason, it's neither of yours fault. It's just a situation that needs to be discussed. Perhaps you two just need a break from the usual, everyday, humdrum life. Try staying in a hotel (you don't have to go far). Go out, eat, see a movie and then cuddle. YOU may need to take the initiative. (It's okay for women to be the aggressor... really!) Do the little things that use to arouse him. Foreplay is at least half as important, if not more, as the actual act of intercourse. If that doesn't work.... don't push it. You don't want him to feel any more pressure than he already does. Just reassure him that you love him. Just as cuddling (without sex) is important to us women, so it is with men, too. Maybe some risqué lingerie or risqué movies can enhance the mood. Intercourse may or may not happen, but you will be achieving the most important thing in your relationship........ you will be showing him that you love him and that he is still desirable. Unless there is a medical reason* for his lost sex drive, he will eventually be the lover he once was. You, however, must never doubt yourself. Just take your time with him. Care for him. Cuddle him. And believe in your love for each other.
*If you suspect a medical condition... please insist that he sees a medical doctor. There are many husbands who aren't interested in sex. Although men may not want to talk about having a low libido, not doing so may create anxiety and heartbreak in their wives. Since discrepancies in sexual desire can cause tremendous frustration, it is especially important for affection to be expressed when libido is low since it could be misinterpreted as indifference or dislike.

Here's a website you may want to check into: http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C477282.html

Answer 2

You pretty much explained it already. She was warned; she didn't care to listen; and now she's refusing to accept responsibility for adding to the problem that caused the cheating. Well, she's spoiled and selfish just like you said. I have a hard time believing she will be ok with you showing her this that you said about her because woman are sensitive, and I'm sure she is not very happy with men in general right now. Bottom line is that what she did was wrong, and what he did was wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. Neither of them should have did what they did, but it's over and done with now. What matters most from here on out is what they decide to do in the future. If she continues to blame everyone else for her problems and avoid responsibility, she will continue to be unhappy no matter who she is with. Perhaps someday she will grow up. Who knows.

Answer 3

He's probably under a lot of stress, possibly from work or from other sources.
Maybe it's time to try something new.
Plan a vaction for the both of you alone. Go somewhere far from home, work, even family. This might be what you both need now.
How about evperimenting. After all, you are married so what ever you choose to do together is right in the sight of God, whatever ya'll do in the bedroom doesn't have to stay there. Try new room and new sex positions.
It might just work wonders for ya!
Has he seen a doc about it. He might be embarrassed about it now, but it could save your marriage in the long run. (Just a suggestion, though)

Answer 4

this is very normal when people get married it's just not the same you see each other every day you sleep on the same bed and its very natural for you both to lose som of your passion that's why routine sex is very different from what u used to have before or at the beginning of ur marriage what i think you hould do know is seduce him make him relive the thrill he used to live before marriage or when he couldn't have u every night be wild in bed make him ask for more tru some sexxy lingerie and a hot bath filled with bubbles and give him a b j in th etub guys just love that and how abt a very romantic evening dinner with candles there are lots of thins that you can do but the most important thing is that let go of the routine and do something thrilling and new and this will renew your marriage every day and good luck

Answer 5

The sex drive of a man tends to decrease with aging. Hope he is not 12-15 yrs older than you as age difference can be a factor. Too much work (stress) can do that as well as worries or anxiety. Alcohol can suppress sesual desire!! Deficiency in Zinc can be the factor or by him gaining too much weight too.
you need some romance or a vacation together. Good luck and get some Wireless Victoria Secret's stuff!! he!he!

Answer 6

This is normal reaction when a man starts to get stressed over something. How you might be able to help is add a little spice into your life. Go out to Waldenbooks and by The Fun Book For Couples: 102 Ways to Celebrate Love written by Melina Gerosa Bellows. This might be able to start things not only for the relationship but your love. Then also maybe think of adding some toys or sensual things to the bedroom. That book is not for the bedroom just to let you know but it is a good little book. Just maybe think really hard of things he either likes or wants to try and see how you might be able to help him. Maybe suggest a night of pure sensual things for each other and no intercourse. For instance, foreplay and massages and then maybe you let him watch you play with yourself with toys then let him play with you with the toys. Get some porn and watch it together. Get some sexy "bedroom" clothes and surprise him with not only that but with a nice massage and maybe a drink of wine. If you don't like wine then try sparkling white grape juice. You can't drink much of it but it is good and can replace wine if need be. Try different things though. EXPLORE! Good luck.

Answer 7

Normal. He is most likey slightly older than you and there is a time in the relationship when the woman sex drive peaks and the man decreases.

Sometimes stress at the office or home can also affect their drive (just as it does with women//)

Just keep yourself looking good.

Answer 8

Shoot him lol just kidding, I am having the same problem with my husband,I think he feels like he is not doing somthing right,try doing some changes in the vedroom like massages ,bubble baths together,candles, and slow dance,Give him a full body tounge massage,Hope this helps

Answer 9

This happens occasionally. Perhaps he's stressed out from work, etc. Plan a little getaway somewhere or cook him a romantic dinner serve some wine and light some candles. That should do it.

And, wear something sexy...

Answer 10

Spice it up !!!! Don't let your sex life become 'sex by numbers'. You know..... I do this, then he does that... blah, blah, blah, ....and it's done. If you're having sex, on wednesday night, at 10.00, exactly, then you need to get spontanious!!! Look into his eye's, jump over the table, and rip his clothes off.