my boyfriend acts like a jerk!!!!!!!?

Question

he treats me so bad but i love the guy how did i let my self b so stupid emotionally and physically abuse by him i seen my dad do the same thing 2 my mom and i told my self i was never going 2 put up with dat and here i'am suffering and heart broken how could a person you love so much treat u this way i'ant perfect but i'll never hurt anyone in purpose. i know i could do better but my heart wont let me.i know it sounds stupid but the mind is weak at times and just put up with his abuse but i dont wanna live this way in sadness i know he loves me but sometimes i just wanna give up!!!!!!!on us.

Answer 1

You have to take care of yourself, first and foremost. Yes it will be hard to leave, but it will only get worse if you stay. If he loved you, he would not treat you like that. I was in a similar situation. Don't listen to the "I'll change, we can work it out, etc." Be strong

Answer 2

In your opening statement you said, "he treats me so bad but i love the guy "

WHAT?! I know it's easy to grab onto any nice feelings and moments with the guy but hey, you're obviously realizing it's not enough. You deserve to be treated with respect ALL THE TIME! I understand that you're father may have treated your mother in a similar fashion. It may seem almost normal but it's NOT!

Tell him you need time to think about YOUR future. He probably won't want to give you that time but tell him that you're considering a lot of areas in your life because that's exactly what you're going to do. Tell him he doesn't have a choice. I suggest you also tell him that the most loving thing he can do is to give you that time. Don't let him wrangle you into a time frame but don't take forever either. You can say you'll need at least a week but if you need more time, you'll call him to say HI and let him know.

Once you do that and have more time to think without pressure, I suggest you really think about what you DO want in your life. MAKE A LIST. Your list should not only include what you DO want but also, list seperately, what you DON'T want in your life. Then, use these lists to compare to people in your life.

I myself had to do this and I ended up pulling away from someone I once considered a good friend. I've also pulled away from a cousin of mine for the last year but in her case I'm getting ready to call her and share how I feel and how things need to be different. She's family after all...

The saddest result of this process for me was to break up with the lady I've been dating (on and off) for 8 years. It broke my heart but I had to realize that, although I was ready to propose to her and saw her as my (future) wife, she could not see me (or any other man) that way. She'd been too hurt in the past. That made her do stupid things in our relationship that hurt me too many times. When I made my list I realized that she was heavy on the DO NOT want side and I had to eventually come to the conclusion that we didn't have a future. It was painful but it was also a relief as each day passed without the usual drama.

Here's another suggestion for you. Don't ever let go of your education! Looking at your writing I can tell that you're young. Education exposes you to so many good things besides the potential for better jobs. It exposes you to people who are also educated and usually better able to handle their stress and have better ways of treating people they care about. I'm not saying that people without a formal education can't be loving and caring but in your case, you seem to live in an area where men are pigs. An education can give you wings to fly to a more agreeable place where you can meet many more guys that will adore and cherish you.

Nike (the shoe company) were right on target then they came up with the slogan "JUST DO IT!" It won't be easy to do all of this but you CAN do it! If you really want to you can change your life.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend does not act like a jerk, he is a jerk. Move on. End the abuse cycle, one ex boy friend at a time.