Has nayone gotten a judge to grant a protective order without evidence of physical abuse?

Question

I'm trying to get out of an abusive situation and I've been told by a lawyer that it's going to be very difficult to get a judge to grant a protective order if my husband is verbally/ emotionally (but not physically) abusing me and my children. I need to move out of state (for family support both monetarily and emotionally) so I don't have time to file for separation or divorce (and wait around the 3-6 months for the process to be completed). But I want to file some kind of protective order and attempt to get custody of the kids when I get where I'm going, so that he can't just come and take them from me. I am concerned that he will become violent when he finds out we are gone (he has shown violent tendencies in the past, but not at me, just destroying things). I do have evidence of this, but I was told it would not be enough. I have been in contact with domestic violence hotlines and they have told me to take what I need and leave and worry about the rest later, but I am concerned

that he will twist things to make himself look like the hero...he does it all the time. I am frustrated that there is not much help for me if there's no physical abuse. I cannot wait around for him to becoe physical, though...I need to get my kids out and don't see any other way besides moving to where my family is. Has anyone has experience with this? What did you do???

Answer 1

Listen to the people on the hotline, they know what they are talking about. I've been thru this b4 and its not pretty. Also, check with other attorneys this one doesn't sound too swift. You can get a protective order w/o proof. Do you think EVERYONE has proof? Just be ready for court. Tell them everything he has done to you - leave nothing out. Get your kids to safety and then worry about the other. When it comes time for court, you can let them know that you were concerned for your safety and the children's safety. Get a GOOD attorney. Go cutthroat. I mean it. My ex got away with abuse b/c the jury did not know he abused me b4. No one was allowed to bring it up and I didn't know that at the time and I never said anything at the hearing. He did no jail time and he nearly killed me. My kids witnessed everything and they are still upset with the whole matter and that was 11 yrs. ago. So, good luck and do what they tell you to do (hotline people). I will pray for you and the children.

Answer 2

whoever you are... I went through that with a former spouse myself. However, she was physically and emotionally abusive. Not only towards me, but our 2.5 year old son(he is now 7 yrs old). We went through complaints from neighbors (due to her yelling and screaming profanities at our child and myself...and because of her throwing things). Infact our landlord was one of our neighbors, who infact came to me with a concern of how my ex was treating our toddler son. Yep, as our son nearly was hit by a truck, because mom was on the phone talking to a girlfriend...our son got outside(front door wide open)...but then screamed and yelled profanities at the front door when it dawned on her what was going on. Other similar instances took place while I was at work. When I confronted her about what happend? She accused me of calling her a bad mother... I had to play "dodge and duck" or get smacked in the head with a frying pan. I went through stabbing, attempted to leave such an abusive enviornment with our child...but I must tell you. Police WILL NOT HELP MEN OR CHILDREN...ONLY WOMEN. POLICE WILL ARREST THE MAN EVEN WHEN HE IS THE VICTIM...

MEN........ Does this story seem like your own? Many men do go through this abuse along with their children. Also when the wife decides to throw false allegations of abuse, rape, or child molestation at you... This typically happens when going through a divorce, or even post divorce. When the woman feels like she is "losing control" (control freak), or nolonger has a foot hold on you and the kids....she will more than likely result to false allegations. What our media and women's organizations will not tell? The rampant claims of false allegations are through the roof.

When I attempted to talk to police? They treated our abuse like a joke. I wasn't taken seriously at all. Other than the fact I was threatened by police. They told me "if you report child abuse, we'll arrest you."

Please e-mail me for details about this issue of corruption. I'd be more than happy to give any gentleman who is going through abuse and has children. I know attorneys that will help, and who understand who men are treated by police and the court system. Furthermore, I have an awesome child advocate who've helped me and my son tremendously. Our child advocate understands completely of how men are routinely treated, and ripped of their civil rights...as a parent...and human being.

My son has gone through professional counseling. It is noted that the mother is extremely abusive....yet, the courts (what a joke), will STILL not hold the mother accountable for her actions of abuse. The abuse law needs reform.

Answer 3

start seeing a counsellor and get your childsren into counselling sessions,that way everything is recorded and the effects it is having on you will be recorded then when you go to court they will suphina the counsellors records and the judge can see for him self what is going on and the effects it has on you and the children

Answer 4

Maybe you can get a no contact order. I think it's different from a protective order