Someone asked what my gf looks like. I said she was "Exotic" because she is asian. Is this disrespectful?

Question

I am a white lesbian. My gf is asian american. She grew up here in the US. One of my friends asked me what she looks like. I said to my friend that she was "exotic". Is this disrespectful because she got upset that I didn't describe her in a dignified way?

Answer 1

Before I read the rest of the question, I was going to say you should ask her. But, in short, the answer appears to be "yes". Definitions include:
1 : introduced from another country : not native to the place where found
2 archaic : FOREIGN, ALIEN
3 : strikingly, excitingly, or mysteriously different or unusual
4 : of or relating to striptease

The most pleasant of those is number three. In that context, there's still an "othering" of anyone who's not white. If you're strikingly different, it rather implies you don't really fit in / belong where you're at. To describe the way someone looks, then, is somewhat offensive.

Personally, I think it COULD apply to a cultural aspect, if there is indeed something strikingly different about it, without being disrespectful. But then, I am a white male and I'm still unaware sometimes of certain race issues. (Gender issues I'm a little better with :D)

Answer 2

Holy ****. I cannot believe you would SAY that about someone you care about. That is really messed up. I am friends with a couple asian lesbians and I can tell you this is EXACTLY why Asian women are hesitant to date white women. If you were dating any of my friends, they would dump your white a$$ ASAP for something so appalling and tell all the other asian lesbians to steer clear.

And out of curiousity, why didn't you just describe her as asian american?

Answer 3

It's not disrespectful. It is definitely not an insult or anything.
If someone called me "exotic" I'd be flattered. Cuz it means cool, pretty and out of the ordinary.

Answer 4

It is only disrespectful only if you think it is or she may have defined exotic as a bit too primitive for her; other words may have included:
Special
Sofisticated
Unique

Answer 5

She's taking section in innovations video games with you. that's pronounced as the "cat and mouse chase." that's the flexibility conflict. at the same time as she did not have you ever, she pronounced you as in administration. Now that you're waiting to take her back, she's feeling more effective in administration. in case you do not prefer to publish including her video games, tell her. also, act disinterested in her if she is going to attempt this to you. She probable likes that you're so liable to her. She broke up with you once, what stops her from doing it back? She likes having that ability over you. you want to stumble on a lady it is going to likely be as loopy for you as you're for her. you want to stumble on a lady it is more effective consistent in her emotions and the demonstration of her emotions.

Answer 6

No it's not disrepectful...exotic simply means --from a different country; or strikingly or excitingly different. I don't know what's wrong with your gf...most women would be extremely flattered to be decribed as exotic...it's a high compliment.

Answer 7

You can apologize to her and from now on out if asked this question describe her with words simply like beautiful, hot, sweet and etc.

Answer 8

Exotic would be more Brazilian or Dominican looking

Answer 9

I don't know. Well, if your girlfriend is offended at that description of herself, I guess it is disrespectful.

Answer 10

When I think exotic, I think HOT.