For the DECENT guys ONLY!?

Question

How many decent guys would date a woman with four kids?

Yes ALL my kids are by the same guy.. my soon to be ex husband

Answer 1

what's for dinner?

Answer 2

I usually don't really factor in children when meeting a lady. I've raised 2 step kids and while there are some down sides to the experience the upside more than makes up for it. 4 kids is alot of kids however. Children are expensive. They also take time if you are a decent parent. The time is the biggest issue. Time alone with your woman is hard to find with children under 12.

There are people who live to be around children who are not pediphiles or otherwise mentally defective. For them the rare glimpses of initmacy is not a big deal. Most couples need at certain level of intamcy in thier relationship. Without it the relationship dies.
So finding that time on top of work, caring for the children and other activities is a challenge with most couples with children.

1 or 2 kids not a problem. They sleep sometime so you have a chance of intamacy with your lady. It's also possible to arrange for 1 or 2 kids to spend most of a weekend away at friends. Easy actually. One gets invited to a slumber party you work hard to get the other invited somewhere else LOL. Free weekend if you succeed! 4 kids not a chance. The logistics of just getting to 3 or 4 different slumber parties would be difficult at best. The odds of finding somehting for all 4 to do on the same weekend imposible. Only realistic chance is to have grandparents or other kind relitives nearby who you can trust with all 4 and who can handle all 4 and beg them to do it for you every so often. The other alternitive is for both to work odd hours thus giving each other a chance to have some alone time while the kids are in school. 4 kids is alot at one shot even for grandparents.

So I would consider such a lady. It would not be with reckless abandon however. If two people are interested enough in each other they will find a way. So don't be discouraged. Having 4 children just means you have to be a little more patient and that you have to be more carefull and that you have to take things slower than with 0-2 children. Again with 4 children what is one or two more? So be open to having another child. Once past 3 the logisitics become more like a military supply train anyway. You can add quite a few before you see a major increase in costs.

Remember if two people really want something to work they CAN find a way to do it. So you just need to find a guy that is really into you and you really into him. You cannot settle for a maybe with so much responsibility. Little things can turn into big things in a hurry in such an athmosphere. Trust me from first hand experience. Thought I was running an orphanage at one time the way loose kids wound up living with us.

Answer 3

It has nothing to do with decent! My mother taught me that to love a woman with children, you have to love her children also, else LEAVE HER ALONE!

I think that her character gets called into question if the children have different fathers, are not from siblings that had negative issues or adaptions.

Unfortunately, marriages do breakup, too, the female must be more concerned with the well being of her children than her own personnel needs. Should a male be sincerely interested and caring, what happens when the father shows up and wants to see his child? Most of the time, the female will let the father in -
more ugly issues!

Decency is not the issue here, circumstance and maturity are.

Answer 4

There are a lot of other things involved. I said I would never date (and certainly not marry) a woman with any kids, but I did. She only has 1, and 4 would have changed things considerably. I consider myself "decent", but 4 would have been a MASSIVE hurdle for me to get over, and I doubt I would have. Here's another dirty little belief that most guys have: Women with 4 kids are (depending on their age) desperate, which usually translates into very low self-esteem. I'm not saying you fall into that category, but most guys believe those women are. I hate to sound so negative, but you fall into a lot of stereotypes that a lot of guys have experienced first-hand, and have no desire to repeat.

Answer 5

It will happen. I imagine it would take a man who either is in a similar situation or set in their life at this point and doesn't want/can't have his own kids but still enjoys them. A good guy wil
Be careful and don't get to desperate, its your kids emotions that are on the line. A good guy will know to take things slow with you not to hurt the kids are to mess with your self esteem.
I have a friend who is recently widowed with 11 kids. Imagine bringing a woman home to meet the family... Although its not on his mind, I feel bad.

Answer 6

Mom of four. Well, children can make dating a challenge, but not impossible. I would suggest that when you "advertise" that you make it clear that you are not looking for a Daddy. Also, keep the pressure on us guys low by making it very clear that doing things (movies, parks, and such) with the kids is not a requirement. I feel that should make your dating a little easier.

Answer 7

I've got that beat as I have dated a woman with 5 kids.

Answer 8

kids do not make a person different they are the same after they have kids as they were before they had kids just because someone has kids dont mean they are not a good person i would date a girl if she had 10 kids

Answer 9

I really feel if its meant to be its meant to be 4 kids or 90 kids shouldnt matter. Dont they say love is blind so the number of children you have should not matter at all and if the guy says it does then he isnt the one for you, your kids are yours no way to get rid of them they are a part of you.

Answer 10

From what I've seen, guys that already have a kid or two are more willing to be with a woman that has kids too.

Answer 11

I dated then married a woman with 4 children, 3 live away from home and one lives with us. Love her and her children very much!