My husband and I will be getting a divorce. I know deep down that is the best situation, but it is so hard when it actually comes time to think about it. Even though I know that is best it still hurts so bad, I can't stop crying. Help, how do I deal with this, other than counseling.
2006-07-29 09:55:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to cry. This is normal. Divorce is like a death and you have to grieve its end. It takes time and you really should talk to others about your feelings. Church groups and I know there are divorce support groups all over the place.
You are starting a new chapter in your life and years from now you will be so much happier than you could ever understand at this moment.
2006-07-29 10:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on how you know that this is the best. Is it that you've rejected counseling for your dilemma or that only one party has agreed to it. There are cases where divorce is the only option but more often than not, there is always hope.
Often times divorce comes about from a specific eggregious act of infidelity, longstanding bickering and abuse or a sense of despair where there is a lack of hope and no obvious answer in sight.
If both people really want the marriage to work, there is always hope. Even if one feels that way but the other is unsure, there is hope. Your kids are ultimately the victims and they are always worth another try.
Counseling isn't all that bad, find a Christian counselor, they have a greater hope and understanding of where you are and where you need to be than you might think.
2006-07-29 17:07:22 · answer #2 · answered by foxray43 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be strong to do it, and i mean very strong, but on the second hand instead of getting a divorce try sorting it out by talking to each other. If both of you are rude to each other it wont lead to any good, but if you agree to tolerate bearing in mind that it could be better, then dont get a divorce, counsel yourself and him, and the best counsellor would be YOU in precise, Other dont really know how you feel deep inside, They just bullshit and want to get paid at the end of the session..!!!!The best way to do is to start by asking do you remember times before marriage and at the time of marriage when you took the oath!!! In happiness and in sorrow, health and sickness, rich or poor!!
2006-07-29 17:01:51 · answer #3 · answered by too_unconditional 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time. I cried for about a year before I got divorced. When it came time and I finally went down and filed it came as a relief and I no longer felt the need to cry. It is hard but if you know that it is for the best get it done as soon as you can so that you can get on with your life. Good Luck!!
2006-07-29 17:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know it's best, you really will make it through. It won't be easy, but being with your kids will help. Spend time away from them, too, though. With other adults. If you aren't already involved in church, find one you like that has a good children's program and ask if they have a divorce recovery class. Many do. Love your kids, take care of you, and trust God. Lastly, stay civil (maybe even friendly)with your husband, but don't let him talk his way back into your bed.
2006-07-29 17:03:53 · answer #5 · answered by water 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just time. I went through this in 2002 when I left my husband. I didn't cry because I loved him though, I knew I wanted to leave him, he wasn't a good husband. But, I was afraid of the future and what it held, so it was stressful and upsetting. Its a difficult situation, especially when you have kids. In time though, things will start to feel normal and good and better. Good luck:-)
2006-07-29 16:58:58 · answer #6 · answered by NONAME 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find lots and lots of other things to do. Also see your family physician for help with this. And what's wrong with counseling? It can be short-term and on an income-based pricing.
2006-07-29 16:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by axoconnor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray and let yourself FEEL whatEVER you feel, don't try to tell youself or let anyone tell you to do anything other than what is in your heart, if your heart is broken and sad feel it until YOU are ready to move on. No one can say it take "this" amount of time, just feel it!!! With time (no matter how much) you WILL feel better.
2006-07-29 17:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by Completly in love... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a friend, or two. Talk their ears off about it. Antidepressants help (I recommend 6 st. John's word pills for 6 weeks or longer).
2006-07-29 16:59:25 · answer #9 · answered by Irritable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relize you had a life before him and you will have a life after him and what went on with him was to help you get ready for what ever God has planned
2006-07-29 16:59:32 · answer #10 · answered by Briana's mum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋