How do I know he is the one for me?

Question

I AM ENGAGED AFTER DATING FOR 7 MONTHS AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE HE IS THE ONE BEFORE I PLUNGE IN TO THAT COMMITTMENT. ANY THINGS I SHOULD LOOK FOR?

ALSO, I FORGOT TO MENSION THAT I ASKWED HIM TO MARRY ME AND WAS THE FIRST TO TELL HIM "I LOVE YOU". I THINK I AM JUST GETTING COLD FEET.

Answer 1

God created love,so if your upcoming marriage consists of God,you, and your mate,then go for it.Wherever God is..there will be unity,trials and test may come on a daily basis,but just hold to Gods unchanging hand,it doesn't matter whether you and your future husband dated for 7minutes,months or years.If this is the man that God saw fit for you, then he is for you.Pray about this situation before you make your decision.

Answer 2

What is his family like? Do you get along with his mother? Does he have kids? If he does, do you get along with his kids? Is there an ex-wife? What about her family - do you like them? Can you imagine being trapped with one of his family members for a long period of time? Are you both educated? Do have the same interest at heart? Do you both have the same faith? Do you both dream of the same things in life? I ask these questions because no one asked me when I got married last month and realized oops - what did I do? Look before you leap. Marriage is a serious commitment and it is more than a contract, it is a vow that needs to be taken seriously. You really don't want to have a divorce, so answer the questions above and objectively answer them. Love is important, but the emotion won't always be there. But reality is always there with all of its conflicts, so think through before you plunge in. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Absolutely and here is some stuff that might help. But right off the top 7 months is in no way long enough to know someone well enough to marry them. You are still in the infautation stage.

You think about getting married when you have been together long enough to be out of the infatuation stage. When you have discussed ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, and a million other things you haven't thought of. After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,

richer or poorer....still want to be with him in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner?

sickness and health...he develops a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be with him?

better or worse...he's in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding him and changing his diapers, still want to be married?

keep yourself only to him, can you REALLY only have sex with only him until you die?

THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what his bad points are (yes he has some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.

If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it.

You never KNOW when someone is right for you, because they can be absolutely right for you this year and absolutely wrong for you next year. People grow and people change. They survive based on their values, goals, morals and committment.

Answer 4

Do you have that empty feeling when he's gone.Are you the center of his life.Are you completely comfortable with him.Remember little things mean a lot. Does he have habits that you can't stand?

What is that makes you ask this question, write everything down, the good and the bad. You've got to get 100 on this test. if you did go for it.

Answer 5

DAPPERSMOM...........hit it right on the nail. Read her response very carefully and then sit back and reflect on each one of the questions and situations that she set out for you.

If you can live with and through all of those situations and still be happy and in love with him then YES, he is the man for you.
But 7 months is not enough time to know someone before you marry him. You should never marry anyone until you have dated, lived with, for at least 2 yrs.
Right now your relationship is still in the getting to know each other stage. It takes time to get to know someone well enough to know if you want to live the rest of your life with them. Don't rush it please.

Answer 6

7 months seems like a too short time to be able to tell if you can spend the rest of your life with a person...
you should be listening to your own feeling about this one, and if you have doubts just give it some more time

Answer 7

if u gotta ask a queston like that then i guesshe's not
Do me a favor n help me wit my question i posted up if u can
thanx

Answer 8

You will definitely feel it that he is the one. It is in you heart, no doubt about it.

Answer 9

If you don't know if he's the one - then he isn't. When you do find that "one" there will be no doubt whatsoever!!

Aloha!