I am still married but have been separated since January, Do you think it is OK to date other girls?

Question

I I am still married but have been separated since January, Do you think it is ok to date other girls? I am planning on getting a divorce but have not turned the paperwork in. I have been dating this girl but I don't know if it is alright?

Answer 1

I personally feel that you are still responsible for your wife until the day you divorce her. Besides it's not fair to the girl you are dating now.

But whatever it is, go with your feeling.. take care!~

Answer 2

my opinion:

legal aspect: as far as i know from talking to my lawyer previously on this issue, there are no legal issues if you date before the divorce is complete. so that's the legal aspect of it.

the emotional aspect: some people rush in too fast with the dating thing, as they want to fill up that emptiness their separation has caused - not a wise thing in my opinion. with the pending divorce, you probably have more than enough on your plate to deal with, and there is a possibility that one may not be making the best decisions when it comes to who they are dating.

besides, many people hit a new low after the divorce is finalized - its probably not a good idea to put someone else (the person one's dating) through that phase immediately following the divorce. may be a cause of stress for both.

my input:
1. first try to sort out whether or not you're getting a divorce. sometimes, separation will give you a fresh perspective
2. if you cant make up your mind, at least talk to your lawyer and get the initial paperwork turned in which has a date of separation in writing. from what i understand, you can still change your mind about the divorce if you want after that (please clarify with your lawyer), but having a date of separation (not legal separation) will put you at a better position, as the length of the marriage is now on paper - usually, half the length of marriage is the period of spousal support, and the more you delay doing this, the more support you'll be paying.

Answer 3

It is alright if you have a legal seperation. If your seperation is legal then yes you have all the right in the world to date who you want. I wouldn't suggest that you and this girl move in with each other until after the divorce if you are planning on it. Get your divorce asap if you have the paperwork. If this is something you want to do I wouldn't let the divorce proceeding drag on if the paperwork is right under your nose. The sooner you get it done the sooner you can feel better about dating this girl.

Answer 4

One you aren't suppose to you may hate me because this isn't the answer you want no matter what you are still married.If you want to date stop the separating crap and get a divorce. Only time you can date during a time like this is when you both agree to it. Women are unpredictable i know im one OK, we will hate you for it even though you somewhat have the right to. I think i need you and your wife need to get this over with and talk about whats going to happen because whats the point of being married if you don't sleep or talk to your wife? Good luck

Answer 5

Like you said, your still married....
If you were that worried about it or if you thought it was wrong, you wouldnt have started dating until your divorced. So it must not be that big of a deal to you anyway.
Besides, anyone should wait a year before dating, after a divorce, to get thier life back together and heal. Just my opinion and the opinion of most counseling professionals.

Answer 6

I would say that you've already made the decision to get divorced. But, why are you holding on to the papers? If you are having second thoughts, then don't date. Or, try a date with your wife. If it's just a matter of taking time to read through them, then yes, date.
IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN- don't introduce them to every girl you date... I would say you should date one person for about a year before you introduce your children to them.

Answer 7

The question looming for me about your situation is: did you try to work things out with your spouse first? Now, I mean ACTUALLY try, not saying stuff like "She's the one with a problem, not me!" If you did, then get the divorce filing done, wait the time frame required, finish things up- THEN move on. Don't take your baggage of a bad marriage with you into new relationships either- if that means getting counseling to help you deal with it, then do so. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 8

You still want to be sure the divorce is going through. Also be positive that you are getting a divorce, because that would cause trust issues, and complications. I believe there can also be complications with the divorce if it is known that you are seeing someone while still legaly married, but I could be wrong.

Answer 9

Well YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. But, why are you asking us? Is there a chance you and your estranged will want to work things out? Why not ask her how she feels? Ask for clarification on what the separation means to her so you can both set guidelines and/or boundaries that are acceptable to both of you. Be specific about what dating entails, meeting and talking to someone, intercourse, or what? Even if there is no chance you and your estranged will want to work things out, sexual infidelity could cause you to be at fault in divorce proceedings.

Answer 10

Look..., you know if is ok to do, you said your are planning meaning you are not 100% sure? well my friend , the grass is not greener on the other side think well before you make your move, and your best proof will be to turned the paperwork in and don use that as and excuse to date and make yourself hot commodity. sorry i hope this will help you to make your correct move .