Ok my husband, whom I love very much, has left me 3 times in 7 years and had an affiar that was about 2 months long. Well I took him back cause my self esteem sucks, anyway now I know I need to get out with my daughter. Well my question is where do I go and how do I do it when I have no money? He does not know that I am doing this. I have just finally had enough and he just thinks everything is ok. Well I can't get over the affair and the fact that he wont work and everything, to much to list.
2006-07-29 07:03:21 · 16 answers · asked by Kim Y 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kick him to the curb. Tell him to leave, if he puts up a fight of any kind get a restraining order.
2006-07-29 07:06:42 · answer #1 · answered by nevyn55025 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a relative you could stay with or that could help you financially? Is it possible that you could start saving some money from your paycheck until you have enough to put a deposit up for an apartment? Also - who's name is the house in? Can you ask him to move out so you and your daughter can stay? I would suggest a marriage counselor - but it sounds like there is too much water under the bridge with the affairs etc. Being cheated on is almost impossible for most people to forgive - no matter how hard they try. Once you have made arrangements for moving out etc. - you must get up the nerve to tell him you are leaving for your own self esteem. Good luck!
2006-07-29 07:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could hug you right now! About time! Do you have any family or friends that you could stay with till you get on your feet? This is no time for pride...ask for help! Grab your daughter and go before you have time to doubt your decision! If you don't have any family and friends you can count on, then you can still do this..pawn everything in the house if you have to...call a shelter...there could be a place for woman in your situation right next door and you don't even realize it. Mental abuse is just as real as physical abuse. And you have been through it, so pick up the phone and say "HELP ME PLEASE" if you don't find a phone number in the book.call 911 and the operator has numbers that you can call...If worse comes to worse and you stay for a little while, start preparing, sneak money from the grocery money. If you pay the bills, don't put the money in a place he won't look. You also can have thrown out, and you wouldn't have to go anywhere right now. Pack his clothes and put them on the porch after you go get a restraining order against him. There is several things you can do...the best thing is being brave enough to do them. As far as your self esteem, you get away from him, then work on that, he has kept you down so you would stay...don't do that to yourself anymore..you don't deserve it and your little daughter don't either....Make some plans, move slowly and quietly if he is violent, but do it!!! I will be praying for you and your baby..... God bless us all.........
2006-07-29 07:15:31 · answer #3 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in your phone book, they should have womens shelters and what not in there, they are actually not too bad, as for I got the courage up to look into going to one but never did. They will provide childcare so you can find a job and get on your own. There will also be a lot of programs(through the public aid department, section 8 possibly too) that you can take advantage of while your there. Good luck to you and your daughter. I'm happy you have the courage to do this, as I have to build myself back up, cause I'm down soooo low.
2006-07-29 07:11:16 · answer #4 · answered by lillady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be strong. It is not easy to step into the uncertainty of being alone and broke, but at what price are you willing to pay? You need to take your dignity back and do what is good for not only yourself, but for your daughter. I know it is way easier to say than do, but you have to stand up for yourself and your child. At least tell him about your feelings. If he doesn't want to hear about it, then he doesn't want to salvage whatever may be left. Do you love him enough to see if it can be resolved? The real question is Do you love him? If there is no love, then there is no hope. You have to do for yourself for life is really but a spec of dust floating in the wind, and when the wind dies, that's it. No more. Be happy. Whatever that may be, find your happiness no matter what .
2006-07-29 07:10:10 · answer #5 · answered by jkcmr2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you do not work outside the home. I would find a friend,relative or church or shelter. How old is your daughter? Are you in good health?? My first step would be is to find a job if u can and start saving money. do not sleep with him for u do not know if he can have an std. I think if u truly had enough u can find a way out. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-07-29 07:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by ANNA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have folks or friends you could stay with? i mean i see where your coming from, saying you have no money so your trying to think of where to go...if you do file for divorce, do it on the grounds of repeated infidelity and try to claim what you can...your entitled to 50% so unless you had a prenup you can at least get that out of it...plus they should side with you about the whole fidelity thing...i dont think youll get charged unless there is some type of reparation...but yeah find a friend or family who can put you up until you get your affairs in order and decide what you wanna do court-wise. best of luck
2006-07-29 07:08:04 · answer #7 · answered by af4sguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
self esteem low? why? with a name like kim?
every girl that i've know who was named Kim was hot as hell, i can't picture you being anything other than that.
now for your issue, if you can't kick him out then you should leave, go to a friend or family member or something, worst case scenario would be maybe a womans shelter or something, then again, find a new guy and then move in with him, shouldn't be hard at all for a hottie
2006-07-29 07:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You first need to get your self esteem back. Do you have friends or family that you can stay with until you get back on your feet? Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
2006-07-29 07:06:53 · answer #9 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any family or friends around you ask them if you can stay with them until you get back on your feet. You should leave when he is not around and have somethings packed but make sure he doesnot find them. You can always go back with someone or when he is not around to get the rest of your things. Good luck.
2006-07-29 07:21:09 · answer #10 · answered by brown eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gather your stuff and the children's and head for the nearest women's shelter. Contact your local women in crisis center and they will help. I hope you have a skill so you can get a job and get on your own two feet. No person should live in fear or with a feeling of helplessness.
2006-07-29 07:08:35 · answer #11 · answered by mr conservative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋