My boyfriend is divorced and had two childern, i dont mind that his ex wife calls to talk about the kids, but when she calls five or six times a day to just rant about stupid stuff including her personal life I tend to get alittle annoyed. She left him for another man, one of his friends, and she thinks that they should all be able to be friends and everything should be just fine, I dont agree. how should i deal with this, if at all?
2006-07-29 06:56:16 · 15 answers · asked by lil_brighteyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you told him this bothers you? If not - he may just be unaware that you care. Men can be pretty emotionally stunted at times! If he knows it bothers you and is unwilling to change - you should take it as a warning sign. Calling this many times a day is excessive. It sounds like neither of them are making the break that divorce signifies.It is fine to be friendly, but when the exes try to act like nothing ever happened it is very confusing to the children involved. It gives them false hope that mom and dad will get back together. If he is not willing to make this break and put a limit on his contact with his ex - I would get out while you can. If not, you will live under a cloud of suspicion for years.
2006-07-29 07:05:15 · answer #1 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think you should be getting upset over this. If her calling to talk about random things doesn't bother your boyfriend then whats the big deal? You aren't married to the guy and if you were it might be a different story, but at this point the only thing you can really do, would be to ask him why she calls so much.
She does have a right to want to be friends with him. They will be in eachother's lives forever because of their kids. The fact that they are friends is a very good thing for their kids. The fact that she left him for another man doesn't really have anything to do with this, nor should it mean that they shouldn't be friends. Your bf is obviously a good person who loves his kids and has forgiven his ex (at least to an extent) so he can be friendly with her. Don't make this more than it should be just because you aren't comfortable with his ex.
2006-07-29 14:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you shouldn't "have" to deal with this at all. Yes, a lot of the responsibility is on the ex-wife because she certainly doesn't have to be calling so much, BUT your boyfriend needs to set some boundaries too. Where is his backbone in this? I think that you need to talk to your boyfriend about how this is bothering you and tell him that if he really wants a good solid relationship with you, then he is going to have to set some boundaries between him and his ex- wife. The way he is reacting to her is only encouraging her to continue to call. Good luck to you..hope things work out.
2006-07-29 14:31:57 · answer #3 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be kept to the kids. She is just trying to show that she still has some type of hold on him. It is good that they can get along but there comes a time when he should be confiding in you and not her! Why don't you start answering his phone when she calls and tell her that the two of you are busy. Maybe she will get the hint.
2006-07-29 14:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this would get on my nerves too. I would have reservations about dating a man who has kids with someone else, simply because that other woman is always going to be a part of your life as long as you're with him. But it sounds like in her case, this woman is really overdoing it and not wanting to really let go of your boyfriend. Why he would want to speak to her at all after she left him for his friend is beyond me. Have you let your boyfriend know how you feel about this? He may not have any idea how this makes you feel.
2006-07-29 14:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by cryptoscripto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it's not really your business if he talks with his ex (which is actually a good thing, because of the kids). However, if it's making you feel really uncomfortable, you should tell him how you're feeling. Maybe he's feeling the same way and just needs an excuse to stop talking to her.
2006-07-29 14:01:26 · answer #6 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never get involved with a divorced man. He is not free to marry. Marriage is until death do you part. You would be nothing but an adulterer. Find someone single. She is still his wife and you have no right to even be dating this man. Find someone who is wholely devoted to you and not cheating on his wife.
2006-07-29 14:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by oremus_fratres 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this should bother you , it want get better till you deal with it , and if you get married without resolving this problem , you will have miserable marriage that will more than likely end in divorce.
2006-07-29 14:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by willieearlramon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him that this bothers you. Granted, they have to talk for the children, but to call all of the time for stupid stuff, that would bother me too.
2006-07-29 14:02:25 · answer #9 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she needs to get a life. She doesn't have one that is keeping her busy. She has no one else to gripe at. He needs to put his foot down or she is going to keep doing this. He can set times she can call or something.
2006-07-29 14:07:30 · answer #10 · answered by B D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋