She...????

Question

Hello,

This question is regarding an old girlfriend from many years ago, what would you do if after all that time she came back into your life? the girl in question JESSIE had many problems she had low self-worth and was always upset for no reason she felt that was not good enough for me which was SO UNTRUE.

I want to help her change as a person it hurts me to see that after all these years she is in a way still the same type of person as before, can you suggest what I could do? I have not told anybody have seen her that is why posting on here for some suggestions

Thankyou
Billie Joe Armstrong
P.S you may remember Jessie from the song "She"

Yahoo! Answers staff notice: This is the real Billie Joe Armstrong. Look here for more detail: http://answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=ApooTwXzziwZcv47Y7jAH.3sy6IX?show=AA1101440

Answer 1

No two people or situations are exactly alike, but I can honestly say I know what you're going through.

My best advice is know that SHE has to be the one who wants to change. If she doesn't feel that she CAN change, then the best you can do is to tell her to seek professional counselling - it can work wonders and give her her life back.

I've had a great time answering a lot of your questions Billie, and as an Answer Friend, I want to tell you something very important: you cannot, CAN-NOT take her load on your shoulders - it will only make you sink with her. Offer advice. Be a confidant, but do not try to heal her. If she hasn't changed in a decade, she is going to need a professional to help out.

I'm not saying don't help her, but I am saying that if your relationship with her is going to be solely about healing her, you're going to get to a point where you start ruing her phone calls - because you're trying to be an agent of change, and she isn't ready or doesn't know how to move forward; and then you'll have a building of guilt collapse on top you.

I would love for your friend to get help - I just want to make sure that you don't take on too much and sink yourself. (Because if you're both wind up down in a depressive state, who's going to save you?)

Answer 2

Unfortunatley, you can't change a person. She is the way she is because she refuses to change herself and better her outlook on life. You can only talk to her and suggest to her that she get some help - maybe some counseling.
You can love someone more than anything and they still think they are trash. A person with serious self issues rarely sees that they are talented and loved by so many - instead they just see the negative. All you can do is be her friend, love her, and support her and hope that one day she starts to change for the better. Good luck with that.

Answer 3

if u haven't told anybody it means that u really don want others to know about it,but it was a good way to ask friends for help,u know,but after that i think talking is the best way,i mean a real talk,ppl always make themselves trouble by not disscussing their problems and a wall of misunderstandings rise and spoils the true relationship,so try to discuss the matter,it always works.and also i think u should find out y she is like that ,u know, everything has a reason and if u try to find that maybe everything gets well.
good luck solving ur problem!

Answer 4

I don't know how I would feel in your position actually...I'd probably regret making a point to burn all the photographs.
She'd be on my mind and in my head from long ago. Tough one 'Billie Joe' :)
How about giving us another great gig at MK Bowl like the last one to take your mind off things - and be sure to get me right at the front next time ;)

Answer 5

Honey some things are inbeded in a person from childhood. Not everything can be "fixed" by someone else. I admire your intentions... but maybe she needs to talk to a shrink. They are her demons to battle. The best you can do is continue to reassure her that you think she's great. Be a friend. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well you cannot change anyone, they have to do it for themself. If there is a possibility that she had been around alchoholism or drug addiction growing up or in her life in general, my suggestion is that you take her to Alonon meetings. I was the same way and going to those meetings molded me into a having a different outlook on life.

Answer 7

No way!!! you are billy joe armstrong!!!???? if you are i am a HUGE fan!!! it think green day rocks!!! well. i dont think there is nothing much you CAN do. you could try at least to rise her self-worth by finding put what she is good at and pursuing her to do it! that would be a good idea i guess! what does untrue mean? anyway! YOU ROCK!!!!!

Answer 8

It's hard seeing people you think are maybe troubled or even abusing themselves and you can talk and talk to them and get no where its until the person decides for themselves they have a prob.(i'm not saying your friend is abusing herself just as in general)
ie. alcoholics my brothers not admitting he has a problem and me telling him gets no where, all I'm hoping is that he realises for himself and gets the help he needs, me forcing it on him will get nowhere.
I think you should just be a good friend to this to your friend and staying positive around her will help her loads .

Answer 9

It all depends on how you feel about her now and where she is in her own head she might have changed you might have changed give her a another try as you might regret it . Good Luck xx

Answer 10

Only she can change herself and fix her problems. You can be there for her and let her know that. In the end it's up to her to find the inner strength to heal herself.