19, Sophmore undergrad, fiance wants a child, what do you think?

Answer 1

Ok, first of all: you are the one who will get pregnant, carry the child and give birth. If you get pregnant only because he wants one, then you are doing yourself, him, and the child a disservice (sp?).

Sounds like at 19 and in school, now wouldn't be the best time. At 19 you are, believe it or not, still very young and in the maturing process (trust me, I know: I'm in my 50s and 19 is a long way from being mature and/lor experienced and patient enough for many young women to become mothers!!). Motherhood is not a picnic: late night feedings/diaper changes, etc. Babies need a huge amount of caring for in the first year; they are not just cute little "live" dolls or toys. One way to test your readiness is to consider how you react to sudden "inconveniences" or upsets: how would you react if your baby spit up on a nice dress/shirt while you were preparing to go out for the evening? What if your babysitter called to cancel at the last minute? What would you do if your baby was colicky and you were studying for a final or finishing up a written project?

As I've pointed out, there are a multitude of considerations when considering pregnancy.

It might make sense to finish your education. At 19, you have a number of years yet to become a mom. Enjoy life, travel, go out and have fun. Parenthood can limit a lot of life experiences at your age. Don't rush into something that cannot be taken back, and that you have a lot of time yet to experience. Also, the man needs to be mature enough to handle fatherhood and not just be there for the conception and birth.

Hope I've helped!!

Answer 2

Ok, goodness, My husband and I got married APril 2005, we were not planning any children until i got pregnant in May of this year!
We were excited a baby was coming, but felt a little sad because there were things we hadnt' done yet! We wanted to go camping and go to Thailand to visit family living there and such!
We were still very excited about the baby and making plans and such. We just found out this last tuesday that our pregnancy was a Molar pregnancy and I had to go in for surgery and we are not allowed to get pregnant for at least 6 months!
It was heart wrenching, we cried for a few days until we really undertstood what a molar pregnancy was. ( No baby, just a chormosome mix up and cells keep mulitplying and dividing!)
It was a huge relief to know that it was never a baby!
What I'm trying to say is, even tho we are very sad about our loss and how we were preparing ourselves to become parents, we also feel a sense of relief and a sense of freedom! (And people may think me evil!) We knew it wasnt the right time to have a baby, but were doing everything we could to prepare!
Now that we aren't expecting, we are still sad, but look forward to doing all sorts of stufff we couldn't have done with a baby!
We will go camping and traveling, and I can go back to school!
You will never realise the freedom you enjoy until you realise it will end for the next 18 years!
I suggest writing down all the fun things you want to do together, camping, traveling, school, etc... you are only 19 and there are plenty of years left for child bearing!
In the end the choice is up to you! But i hope this helps at all?!

Answer 3

A child is not something that you just want. It's a real financial obligation, and it takes commitment to take care and raise a child. Are you both ready to deal with everything that having a child entails? If you are really serious about finishing school, think about how a child will fit into your life (daycare, sleepless nights, expenses, etc). Then discuss this openly with your fiance.

Answer 4

personally i wouldnt, i got pregnant at 17 because my b/f now husband wanted to, and got me to start wanting to i almost didnt finish h/s, but i did, because i was so young and small i went into preterm labor 3 times and still had her 1 and 1/2 months early she almost dies she weighed 3 lbs, its sucha big responsibility but it is wonderful to have a child, its just thefact that you have so much time to have a baby, there are ao many times when i wanna go to bars and hang and have fun and i cant i have my daughter to care for i am now 20 yrs old and its hard but i am pregnant again so i cant say much about bad choices, do what you feel is right and it'll all come to you, but just to let you know my life is on hold now though because i had a baby, i couldnt go to college or get a job, because daycare is sooo expensive, so my husband jsut works his little butt off, and i stay home with my little girl. its great to be a mom but you have to be ready. its not as hard or scary as everyone says but its alot to deal with. its up to you, dont let your fiance talk you into something you arent ready for, but if you are go for it, its a wonderful, and beautiful thing

Answer 5

If I were you, Id concentrate on your education first... Having a child will totally make things crazy and your grades may suffer, but it is your choice, if you feel that you can handle it, then go ahead.. Good luck!

Answer 6

wait...Have you read the posts from girls who says BF/fiance wanted a baby I am preggers he is nowhere to be found...He doesn't know how to handle this....Just wait you have plenty of time...Party grow up finish school...Sleep late go shopping...You can't do some of these things with a baby...if you have to ask it;s probably not an ideal time..

Answer 7

Its up to you. I've just recently had a child and I'm in college.

Answer 8

Wait till you get married and are financially stable.

Answer 9

what's the rush? finish school, get married,slow down.

Answer 10

finish school and get married first you have plenty of time. get your carrer first