How would she feel?

Question

I found that my wife was having an affair with her coworker. I thought it was over and done with but recently found that they call each other often. I confronted my wife about this and I feel I didn't get any honest answers. I wanted to remain married to her but I feel that she is still decieving me although she said there is no sex and she hasn't seen him, they only chat. I asked her how she would feel and if she would put up with this from me. She said she wouldn't. I feel like just ending our marrige at this point. I also feel like having an affair and exposing her to it so she can get at least some idea of how it feels to be betrayed like that. I also think it may not get her down as much as she got me to the lowest feelings I ever had. I want her to realize she will be costing us our home, family and friends. I want to tell her family why I have chosen to leave her and why I planned on having an affair. Her family and I get along very well.

Answer 1

Just get rid of the selfish *****. Having an affair of your own is not the answer. Get a divorce and move on and let her have her lover. You will find love again.

Answer 2

If you cheat on her, she won't feel as hurt as you felt and the reason is because she doesn't care about you as much as you care about her ( I know reading this must hurt), but it is the truth. You should have never taken her back the first time she cheated. Once a cheater always a cheater. Telling her family that you want to cheat on her will not help anything. I know that you and her family get along well, but don't forget she will always be their little girl no matter what she does and all though her family may not agree with what she is doing, they will be there for her no matter what. If you want to tell her family something then get a nice card and write in it telling them that you felt like you were part of the family and that you couldn't leave with out explaining your side of things, tell them that your wife was unfaithful and after taking her back she was unfaithful again and that you can not stand to live in a marriage that isn't lived the way GOD would want you to live it. Let her family know that they mean alot to you and that you wish things could be different. As for your wife, she shouldn't even be talking to a man that she had an affair with. I don't care if it is currently physcial or not ,you need to get rid of her. I know that you want to save the marriage but she doesn't, because if she truly did want to save the marriage she would have never cheated on you in the first place and now she is disrespecting you by talking to this man. Stop wasting your time on this women and get a real women.

Answer 3

Well you could try the affair thing, but if she is indiffirent to your actions would that really work in your favor? I mean really that will just prove to the courts that your owe her *** alimony. Instead get your self a reputable Private investigator, get some proof and show it to judge. When you go for the divorce you can prove she was a cheater and it may lean towards your favor. Eye for an eye is childish and may not even work, just try and consider some other options before you make a potententioally costly decision. I feel for you man and i wish the best of luck whatever course of action you decide to take.

Answer 4

Having an affair for spite does not solve anything. Plus it will just bring you down to her level. I think you have a right to tell her family, but DON"T tell them about wanting an affair yourself. That's bad politics. You will keep your good standing with her family if you are blameless in this. And jumping off into a new relationship will only mess you up more. You will need time to heal and get your life back in order. Good luck.

Answer 5

I would not have an affair to get even, because hurting someone back is never going to lessen your hurt the least bit, but you're probably right to think about ending your marriage. It sounds like she can't let go of this guy, so it's best for you to leave them to each other and start fresh.

Answer 6

If you changed he to she-and her to him, you would have my story. I decided not to have affair, because I don't want to bring in another person in this place I now call hell. Who would I be hurting the most, me...and I think I have been hurt enough. Just as you have! Have you tried counseling? Mine finally decided to go, but I am making back-up plans to leave just in case it doesn't work. As far as telling her family, I wouldn't do that. Right now she must not what you two had together, and I wouldn't want her there just because her family pressured her into it. I would want her to be there only if she wanted to be there. I hope that I am making sense, because I truly want to help you. Right now, you are the most important thing to worry about, getting your thoughts straight, and getting your heart prepared for the worse. Don't let this one woman ruin your loving nature. You have plently to offer another woman, and she would cherish each minute that you gave her as her last. That is what everyone deserves-to be loved as you loved them. If she is not willing to see or can't see how much she is hurting you, then you are definetly with the wrong person. You are like me, you put her feelings first, and that's the way it's suppose to be! I pray that she wakes up and see what she is throwing away just I do with my husband. But I am going to be prepared if he doesn't.....I have 27 years invested in my marriage, and I am scared to death, I won't lie to you, but honey, I will get over him! I promise you that! Because we deserve to be loved! God bless us all.........

Answer 7

It has turned into an emotional affair if she is still talking to him. JUst let her knowthat if it continues then its over. Or you could try counciling. It sounds like she doesn't really give a damn about your feelings though. I would just surprise her with divorce papers! Maybe that would wake her up. She does not sound like a nice person. If she wouldn't put up with it then why are you putting up with it? It is not worth it, move on.

Answer 8

if she is talking to him she is still seeing him let her go.