Me and my boyfreind had been planning our big annoucment for our engagement. We had both invited our Parents over for dinner to tell the good news. We we're both sooo excited.... 10 minutes before our Parents got there we'd got into a big argrument. 5 minutes before they got there he told me he had slept with the lady across the hall. He didn't take it back and still hasn't taken it back. I know that it is true...My heart is truly broken. What should I do???
2006-07-29 02:31:29 · 34 answers · asked by Kayla22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he did it once he will do it again, leave before it gets any worse.
2006-07-29 02:36:00 · answer #1 · answered by johhny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know....I want to believe he was just angry and said that off the cuff, because unless he's a complete moron, no guy would blurt that out in the heat of an argument if it were true. ( Having said that however, there aren't any apparent shortages of morons). Did you guys ever resolve whatever it was you were arguing about? And what do you know about the lady across the hall? And, what was the dinner like while your parents were there with all that tension in the air? ( unfortunately I have more questions than answers) because I'm trying to figure out what he was thinking. You need a lot more information. Can you speak candidly to the lady across the hall for answers? Don't dive right in there, because I still think he made that up, but approach it in a roundabout manner. Good luck.
2006-07-29 02:42:04 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A way to predict someone's future is looking into their past. With that said, what this guy did to you is very hurtful. He violated your trust, and showed no concern for your feelings or physical safety. What if that woman had an STD? By sleeping with her and coming back to you he put you at risk.
The fact that he hasn't apologized shows that he doesn't feel any remorse. Marriage does not magically turn a sour relationship into a good one. I am not going to tell you to leave him though that is what I would do. At least put off the engagement if you plan to stick with him, this is not the time to be planning a wedding. If he genuinely wants to make it up to you and you are willing to give it a go, don't expect it to work out and get your hopes up because as the saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
2006-07-29 02:49:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it off now. Better before you send out the invitations and that only your parents know. Even if he is lying about sleeping with the lady next door then he is not marriage material. Can you imagine being stuck with a guy for the rest of your life that would WANT to hurt you? You are not being treated good right now and it will only get worse once he knows that hes got you for good.
2006-07-29 02:41:09 · answer #4 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should re-think getting married to this man. DOuble guess everything right now b/c if he kept that from you there is no telling what else he has done. What you really need to do is sit down and have a serious talk with him. Even though you know it's the truth find out why and what made him do something so stupid, and let him know he jepordzed your life together. Then if you feel leave him. He cheated once he will do it again.
2006-07-29 02:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by lillady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One word...RESPECT. You need to respect yourself! I don't understand why men sometimes think that all will be forgiven if they spill their guts before a major event happens. Sadly, the damage is done and the ever strong female is left to clean up all the aftermath. Then again, being the strong of the species, this is maybe the reason it happens. Please, end this chapter of your life and never look back. Trust is a very special thing. If this man cared for you in the slightest way he would never have considered being with another woman, furthermore he was about to spend his life with you...why would he be looking at any other woman. When you about to say those vowes you should be considered a goddess in his eyes and none would turn his head. Empower yourself darling and find new stars to explore.
2006-07-29 02:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lady J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't address the situation now, the problem will be there in the future, confront the other young lady and your boyfriend at the same time, someone will have to make a serious chose, you'll know in your heart whether they are playing with your feeling are not, if you feel it's not right for you, well you what to do and the same goes in the oppsite direction, anyway good luck in whatever way it turns out.
2006-07-29 03:06:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry him. If he loved you he won't be having relations with the neighbor. I'm glad you got in that fight, at least you know the truth about your boyfriend. Mom always says" Once a cheater--always a cheat. Guess what that's true. I found out the hard way. Thank God you didn't have to. Keep your chin up the right guy is out there for you. This guy is not the one. Good luck girlfriend. I hope you take my advise to stay away from him.
2006-07-29 02:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by GERRI B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fraid the problem goes way back further than this incident. It involves the whole issue of sex before marriage. You see, if a guy has sex with you and you're not married, he has showed you something already. What? He has showed that he is willing to have sex with someone that he is not married to!!!!
What makes any naive young girl think that this core value will change in the man if you where to get married? Truth is it won't.
Change your life, change your values and find a guy who's willing to wait with you, and then when you both get married you can rest a lot more easy in the faithfulness of one another.
2006-07-29 03:11:41 · answer #9 · answered by jp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank GOD is what you should do. I know that you love this man, but honey think GOD that you know now what kind of a man this is. (don't take him back, he doesn't deserve you, and know that for your self, tell your self that you are to good for this, because you are) So many women are in marriages, have children with these men and only to find out nine years into the marriage that their husband has been unfaithful. You don't want to be them. I know it hurts and you probably want to forgive him, but if he can do it and get away with it ...he will do it again. You will have to live with the questions, and the worring did he really have to work late, was the phone call really a male friend? Don't do it to your self. Leave him and find the man that DESERVES you, because he doesn't deserve you.
2006-07-29 02:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! Way to go jerk, drop a bomb on you like that, could his timing have gotten any better???
"Once a cheater always a cheater" If he slept with someone even before ya'll got engaged then your relationship wasn't as strong as you thought it was..
This one is up to you.. You have to ask yourself will you ever be able to trust he again? And if the answer is NO or I DON'T KNOW then chances are you never will and why spend the rest of your life with him always wondering!!
Only you know what you need to do...
Good Luck!!
2006-07-29 02:41:06 · answer #11 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋