What to do after a miscariage? How do I get through life? Seeing babies makes me sad.I can't socialise.?

Question

I'm 21 years old. In May, my period was late.I didn't do a test until a month later when I went to the doctor as I wasn't feeling well.I was experiencing pains and buring when urinating, he did a pregnancy test..NEGATIVE!Told me I had a bladder infection,prescribed mediction,he made sure it was safe to take IF pregnant. A few weeks later I did a home test...POSITIVE!I was unsure about what to do, I only told my boyfriend. Went to the doctor 2 weeks later as I was bleeding for about a week, she could only hear 1 heart beat...MINE!She told me it wasn't a concern as I was only about 13 weeks pregnant so it is hard to find another heart beat. Went to bed that night not knowing the hell I was going to painfully wake up to. I was uncontolably bleeding and in agonising pain. I woke up in a pool of blood. Went to the toilet and had chunks of my inside coming out of my vagina + a stream of continual blood.This went on for hours.I wanted this baby,I'm struggling to move on with life.I'm so sad

Answer 1

the same thing happened to me 3 months pregnant and I woke up in a pool of blood and went to the doctor and he told me i was having twins but i was going to miscarry (and I did 2 days later)
.. I could not look at a baby without crying. I should have gone to the doctor to get on antidepressants but i was young. I got pregnant again 6 months later and all of the sadness went away! and i had a healthy baby boy. maybe you should consider getting married and then have a baby. its the right way.that way u will not stress while being pregnant. ----

Answer 2

First off I want to offer you my condolences. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I know what you are going through. I had a miscarriage when I was 20 and it was the hardest thing to go through. I blamed myself for a long time. I tested negative the first time too at the doctor's office, so I thought I wasn't pregnant and I continued to smoke, drank a couple of weekends and then found a month later I WAS pregnant. Then a month later I miscarried and I blamed myself. I was 16 weeks along when it happened and I couldn't think of any other reason that would have caused it. The truth of the matter is that there could have been any reason that this happened. I could have been near "perfect" during the 16 weeks and it still could have happened. That is what you need to remember- you did not cause this, this is not a form of punishment, and this does not make you a bad person. Sometimes in life, God has a different plan than our own, and though we might not understand why, God had a need for the little one up in heaven.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. I am 30, I have a 12 year old son, but I have been trying to get pregnant again for YEARS. I finally got pregnant and had a miscarriage last September. I was pregnant again in March and miscarried at 6.5 weeks. I was at work when I started bleeding, I bled through my clothes and went immediately to the Emergency room where I bled all over the bed, the floor and the bathroom. I was given Morphine and the pains kept coming. I had to have a D&C to stop the bleeding. It was like a horror movie. I felt so empty when I left the hospital, and so sad. Now all of my friends are pregnant (3), and I so wish it was me. I try to be happy for them, but I am jealous. Had my pregnancy not terminated in September I would have had that baby by now. I try to remember that everything happens for a reason, and when it is time for me to have a successful pregnancy, I will. I can't control it, no matter how much I want to. I will keep trying, that is the fun part after all.

Answer 4

There are some books that deal specifically with miscarriage and the feelings of loss that a woman experiences. Most people don't understand that it is the same to a mother as losing a child after they are born. These books help to understand your pain. You also need to know that the miscarriage probably occured because there was something wrong in the development. It may help to know that this little being was released from an imperfect body only to return to you when you successfully deliver. When you finally do hold your baby you will know that everything you went through, as heartbreaking as it is, resulted in you getting the healthy baby you have. Let your body heal and try again. You will feel the emotional pain long after the physical effects are healed.

Answer 5

I am so sorry to hear of your sadness. Miscarriage can take quite a while to recover from, please try not to dwell on it too much and also understand that your boyfriend is probably also feeling some pain. You will always remember the baby that you lost and wonder what he/she would have been like, however very often the body miscarries because the baby is deformed, it's natures way of making things right. Speak to health carers or even your doctor if necessary, talking will help you and it really is true that time is a great healer. Recovering from the sadnes you feel now doesn't mean you forget your baby.
I wish you all the very best and I do hope that you are able to get on with your life.

Answer 6

I've had 2 miscarriages, both at around 13 weeks.
Yes, it is hard. It is sad. You will grieve. You will always remember. And in time, you will feel happy again.
You have lost your baby and all the hopes and dreams that come along with a child. That is going to take time to heal.
Counselling from a therapist who has experience with this sort of loss could be very helpful. You might be able to find a group in your city for mothers who have lost their babies through miscarriage or stillbirth (these groups can sometimes be found through your local hospital).

Answer 7

I've never had a miscarriage and I don't have children. But a good friend of mine has had one and a year or two later she had a child and now has two. Maybe this wasn't your time and children will come when the time is right. If you ever have children in the future, you will be able to truly appreciate a happy, healthy pregnancy followed with the birth of a healthy child. If you believe in God, talk to him. You aren't alone, even though you may feel like it. Appreciate the fact that you survived the experience and learn to love yourself with or without children, and they may come along in the future. Best wishes.

Answer 8

Well first of all im sorry for your loss im a single father my son is ten when he was a new born his mother and i were at the doctors a woman i never met b 4 came up to me crying said that she had just lost a baby still born and i asked her to hold my son and it really helped her and we have had this relationship for years ,she was able to cope with her loss with another baby maybe this will help you and i dont know if your religious or not but all babys that pass on go straight to god and someday you will be with that child again but ultimatly you must over come your loss in your own way and time so just take it slow, be strong and god bless.

Answer 9

You could find an on-line support group to share this with others who have had the same experience. Try looking in yahoo groups. You are not the first person to have gone through this tragedy and will not be the last. It will hurt for a long time, but things will get more bearable and will eventually stop hurting. Other people who have gone through this will be able to help you. I wish you well.

Answer 10

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