READ THIS QUICKLY!!! It is really urgent.?

Question

My of my closer friends has a real problem and I am afraid that I have failed to give her a solution. It is now up to you, the elite of Yahoo Answers to try and solve it.
Here goes. She has a boyfriend that she loves very much and also a male bet friend that she has known before her boyfriend and gets along with him really well. Her boyfriend has often told her that she dislikes the fact that she spends time with her friend instead of with him, but still, the 2 guys know each other and get along
Now here's what happened yesterday. He started swimming lessons and the best friend wanted to join her in classes. Now her boyfriend got into a jealouse rage, called the guy up they cursed each other and now neither of them wants to talk to her untill she gives up the other. And there's gonna be a huge fight on Monday unless somenone comes up with a solution to this problem. The girl can't give either of them up. Think of a really good way of making those 2 get along again.
Thank you!

I feel that if things go badly it is all my fault because I wan's able to think of a good answer.
I have helped people on this site with a lot of things, but I can's seem to get an answer to this.
Please don't let me down guys. I don;t wanna see any violence.

Sorry if the whole thing was too long... I can's really seem to shorten it out..
No, the best friend doesn't dig her... She told me that he is also in love with anothe girl... That's why I don't know what to say myself...
It's a real mess...

For domesticavalanche: I don't come in at all. It's just that my friend know me for a guy who can really help sometimes and she entrusted me with this problem... She had confidence in me, so I don't wanna let her down.

Answer 1

Unless the "friend" is Gay, he needs to stop the friendship with the girl. It just can't work like that, PERIOD.

HERE IS WHY:

It is a FACT of life that a straight man, that is friends with a girl, single, dating, married...it doesn't matter, it is a FACT that this guy wants to sleep with the girl. This is why the BF is getting mad and jealous, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THIS FACT. The only acception to this rule is if the guy friend is Gay or has a blood relation.

If you don't believe me ask an older man because they know this stuff. Ask them how many of their friends "hang out" with their wife/girlfriend, and when they say, "hell no!" ask them why. They will say the same thing I just said. It is a FACT.

Women that are not single CANNOT have a straight friend. Tell her only other women gay men for friends.

And as for the guy not 'digging' the girl, that is a crock. I've been "that guy" before. He is waiting for a chance that is never going to come. And if he is in love with another girl, why isn't he trying to do something with her instead of swimming with another guy's girl. You all will understand one day when you get older.

Answer 2

It's not her decision to make. The guys are causing the trouble over the girl it seems at first but later you will see why she is part of the problem). Both guys seem to have issues with jealosy and lack of self control. The so-called friend also seems to be more than interested in being friends with the girl. I do not know their ages but I would have to guess all of the parties are young. She does seem to have "influence" over the two. In my opinion, she should toss them both off for a little while and see who forgives. Seems like she cannot make up her mind either. So we have three prople who are self-centered and selfish. EVERYONE TAKE A DEEP BREATH! Jealous boyfriend has to get a grip. He IS her boyfriend and therefore should hve confidence in her that she is going nowhere. Friend has to get a grip. If he truly a friend he would step back and let his "friend", the girl, do what she wants. Which at this time, seems to be to have her boryfriend and a friend and keep it that way. But it seems to me that the girl has a real problem with trust issues. In other words, SHE cannot be trusted. Or so it seems. In order to maintain that trust, she should get everyone together and reinforce everyone's place in this relationship. If she cannot do this. Then she is feeding into the breakup of three friends. Group hug or stay away from eachother. All have to particpate in this decision.

Answer 3

They probably will have to just let it be. You cant make someone stop being friends with someone..It only causes hardship. These must be children, I certainly hope not adults. You know that people come into our lives for a reason some to stay and some just for a season. We should take friends as learning lessons. Make friends and keep them..No matter what!! You dont need a certain number of friends only a number of friends you can be certain of...You remain at your friends side and things will work itself out!! Perhaps by Monday , their wekend possibly brought the something to really worry about

Answer 4

both of them need to GROW UP and she should dump both of them until they do! If neither of them are going to talk to her anyway if she does not give the other up, then she should refuse to talk to either of them until they show some maturity- the one that really cares about her as a person and wants to have a relationship with her, whether it is friendship only or more, will come to their senses and stop acting so childish. If they don't then good she finds out now that she was not that important to them in the first place. I mean come on, GROW UP! are these guys like 5 years old or something??!!?!?!

Answer 5

Truly, I believe that if they both cared about her, they wouldn't force her to choose. She shouldn't have to. She should talk to each one, better that it be private, yet they know that she is talking to them both on this. She should just explain to the two that she will refuse to pick and that they should put her in this position. Maybe she should give them time without her. She should remind them that it was better when they got along and that her boyfriend shouldn't be jealous of her friend and her spending time together. They should think about what they are doing and how they are making her feel before they decide that she has to choose.

Answer 6

Tell them to laugh off the fact that they are so jealous of everything because they dig each other so much and want the same girl. SHE needs to make a choice and tell the other that they will only be friends and that means not spending so much time together out of respect for the boyfriend. (or whomever she chooses)

Answer 7

i don't know but i would never give up my best friend for another guy. Boyfriends come and go but friends are forever. Besides, i hate jealous boyfriends, a little is good but too much is bad and don't need the drama and the boyfriend really blew things out of proportion.

Answer 8

So... where do you come in here?

Anyway, if the to guys usually get along well, then the gal can talk with both of them seperately in such a way that there can be a compromise. And there can never be a generic solution as every one is unique, and since the gal knows both of them well, I guess only she can do anything about it.

Answer 9

There are so many variable here. First if she is a teenager she should drop them both, its stupid of both of the guys and she better off not having a friend who will sabotage her relationships, and better off not having a boyfriend who is so jealous whats going to happen if she got a job and her boss happens to be a guy.... If she is an adult you should tell her your there as her friend but that you don't want her blaming you for a choice she ends up regretting. good luck...

Answer 10

Sounds pretty petty to me. The best thing she could do is dump them both for a while until they grow up. It's childish and stupid of them to put her in that position, and they only prove their immaturity by giving her such an ultimatum. It will not be the end of the world if she gives them up. Because believe it or not children that behave like this do not make lifetime partners...