How do you build up self confidence when its been shot down?

Answer 1

Here are few words you can learn...



Here are six super tips for improving your personal
communication style:

1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come
easier once you become aware of your own communication
style.

Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to
your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort
of body language and what tone of voice are you using?

Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good
communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You've just
taken an important first step in how to improve
communication skills.

2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the
style of those around you. How do the most important people
in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for
approaches you can model and make your own.

3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don't think
it is too late to change your way of conversing because
it's been years. You had to learn to communicate in the
first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change
them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.

A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged
daughter. She was growing and he thought she didn't tell
him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated
discussion when he asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing
her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his
daughter would involve listening first before jumping right
into solving the problem.

4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match
the other person's movements, posture and verbal style.
Don't do everything they do, but mirror one or two things.
For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to
questions, you follow suit.

Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually
do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound
simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel
very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.

5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as
in a different environment. Make sure you change your style
to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want
to tell your best friend, in private.

Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to
improve communication skills by altering your style for the
appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far
too much information in a group setting.

6. Don't criticize others for communicating differently. If
we all communicated in the same way, we'd soon be bored
with each other.

Getting a good grasp of your communication style and
finding ways to accommodate other peoples' styles, is a
good way to improve your communication skills.

If you want to improve your professional and social
standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a
positive manner.

3 Simple Ways to Impress Anyone You Meet
by Peter Murphy

The way we live today more and more emphasis seems to be
placed on career success, material gain and achievement. And
in an increasingly complex world sometimes it seems like
technology and rigid processes have become more important
than the people they were set up to serve.

However there is one success secret that costs nothing. And
we can all use it today to get ahead more quickly. I am
talking about cultivating exceptional people skills in a
way that puts you ahead of the crowd, in a way that
respects and honours the people you deal with in your life.

Ironically when we neglect people skills the complex
business and social infrastructure of our world can fall
over in a moment. What do I mean?

Have you ever walked into the store of a major nationwide
retailer and walked through the multimillion dollar premises
only to find nobody to serve you?

Have you ever phoned your bank and got a busy signal or even
worse got cut off despite their huge customer service
focused advertising campaigns?

How about in your workplace? Have you ever done a fantastic
job, stayed late to get it done and felt taken for granted?
The corporate slogan about caring for the welfare of the
staff rings hollow after this happens more than once.

On the other hand if you learn from the most successful
individuals and companies you will very often find one
trait in common -- excellent people skills.

Here are three ways to become more successful by developing
your people skills:


1 Learn from people who manage to remain cheerful in the
face of massive challenges and stress.

A good friend of mine was on the verge of losing his
business last year but you would never have guessed it. He
was always smiling and confident things would get better.
He somehow managed to still treat his staff well even when
he was worried about running out of money.

By listening to him and watching him cope with extreme
financial pressure I learned a lot. His belief that
everything would work out kept him smiling even while
facing some very dark hours.

You too need to become better under pressure. Anyone can
cope well when things are going well. It is only when you
shine under pressure that you prove to yourself and the
world that you are destined for better things.


2 Exceptional people skills happen at the margin.

To go from average to good and from good to excellent is
possible in a short time when you make incremental
improvements each day.

You do not need to change your personality or go on a two
week course. Simply focus on listening skills, on non verbal
communication and on building confidence.

Read some good books, get advice from experts and apply what
you learn. By making only very slight improvements where it
matters most you will quickly develop exceptional people
skills.

The very best performers in sport and in business are only
marginally better than their closest competitors and these
slight margins make all the difference between winning and
losing.

Aim to make marginal improvements in your ability to
communicate with impact and your results will improve
dramatically. Now would be a great time to get started!


3 Say what you mean and mean what you say

Mark Twain famously commented that common sense is not that
common and today sincerity and honesty are far from common
either.

You can stand out from the crowd by making a point of saying
what you mean instead of saying what you think people want
to hear. Insincerity is a game you can never win as you are
always living in fear of getting caught out.

If you follow through on what you say people will respect
you for your integrity and you will be known and
appreciated as someone who can be counted on.

Be unusual -- hold yourself to a high standard of integrity
and commit to saying what you mean and doing what you say
you will.

When you live like this each day other people develop
confidence in you and in what you say. And success in the
world gets a whole lot easier with a team of people who
believe in you paving the road ahead.

Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
communication skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.

Step #1 Start socializing close to home.

Not literally but metaphorically. Start by looking at your
closest social interactions. If you are the kind of person
who is more off to themselves and not very active at your
friends' parties then you are more than likely the same
person who can't speak up in a business or find the courage
to initiate a date.

So start by mingling yourself with your closest people more
often. Practice by holding conversation with family you
don't regularly speak too or becoming more active in the
party scene with your friends.

There's no need to become outrageous just speak up with
those you fell comfortable with.

Step #2 Improve your conversation skills.

Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn't have to be an
obstacle though.

Watch the conversation and don't let those uncomfortable
pauses scare you. Remember if you are nervous there is a
good chance that the other person is nervous as well, so
just take it easy.

Try small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what's
been on television lately.

When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to amore
important topic.

Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person's reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.

Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
communication skills.

Step #3 Improve the body language in your communication
skills.

Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.

If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine.

Try and keep your legs down and if you are standing don't
sway. Swaying can suggest again that you are bored or that
you are in a hurry.

Step #4 Ending the Conversation.

Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your communication skills as holding the
conversation is.

Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over labels you
as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person's movements
and actions.

We as humans have very subtle but dependable signs of
letting each know when we are through. If the other person
tends to refer to their "to do list" for the day or are
constantly shifting their body weight or displaying other
physical signs of boredom, let them go.

Improving your communication skills can be done. Don't
worry, keep trying and aim to improve a little each day.
Good social skills are the foundation for success!

What else can you do to take charge of even the most
difficult social situations?

They simply need to develop the appropriate skills. If you
need to improve upon your communication skills, here are a
few tips to help you get started down the right path.

You can learn how to start a conversation and converse with
anybody, anytime.

1. In order to make interesting conversation, you must be
interesting to others. Keeping yourself informed on current
events, staying involved in activities, and keeping a
mental list of good topics of discussion are excellent ways
to break the ice. And a great tool to help you learn how to
start a conversation with almost anybody.

2. Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel,
prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest
you most and what you would like to discuss about a
particular subject.

A little preparation will go a long way in enabling you to
easily converse with others. Don't be afraid to ask
questions.

In general, people like to talk about themselves and will
respond favorably when asked simple, friendly questions.
Learning how to start a conversation is not quite as
difficult if you prepare in advance.

3. Make an effort to be a good listener when starting a
conversation. After you make the initial effort, listen
closely to the other person's response.

Often you'll find an invitation to continue the
conversation if you listen carefully and respond
accordingly. Balance is the key in any conversation.

Alternate between talking and listening to what the other
person is saying and make additional comments as
appropriate.

Learning how to start a conversation is really just using
good manners and showing a genuine interest in others.

4. Even if you find it extremely difficult, always greet
those you encounter with a smile and look them directly in
the eye.

It may be hard at first, but self-confidence is a learned
skill and by acting confidently, you will gain new
self-confidence.

Soon enough you will notice that it is not as hard to
maintain eye contact and carry on a conversation. Act
confidently and you will eventually become confident.

Developing self-confidence is an important part of learning
how to start a conversation.

5. Try to remember small details about co-workers and
acquaintances. Asking about a weekend plan or a relative is
an excellent way to start a conversation and show genuine
interest in those around you.

If you are interesting, attentive, and act with confidence
you will appear to be the kind of person people like to
have as a friend.

By practicing these new skills until they become second
nature, you will increase your own self-esteem and learn
how to start a conversation easily.

Learning how to start a conversation is really just a
process of practicing your social skills until they become
a habit.

Repetition and determination are the most important factors
in building your level of confidence and conversing
effortlessly in any situation.

The 7 Easy Ways To Make a Great First Impression
& the 3 Ways to Ensure Low Stress Communication

When you have an important event to attend there are 7
great ways to make sure you perform at your very best.
These tips are relevant for social events and business
meetings.

Discover how to communicate with confidence while
making great conversation...

1. Decide what you want to say before the event. Review it
in your mind to make sure it sounds okay. Keep rehearsing
it until you can say it with conviction and confidence.

2. Consider your potential listeners. Who will you be
talking to and which topics of conversation will be
welcome? You need to make sure your message matches your
audience.

3. Be yourself. The worst mistake is to pretend you are
something you are not. People will see through you and
distrust everything you say. Even if you communicate
clearly and with confidence.

4. Never expect things to work out perfectly. Be ready to
deal with problems by deciding in advance what you will do.
What will you do if people ignore your input? Now is the
time to decide and not later on in the heat of the moment.

5. Be flexible in your approach. Different people need to
be treated differently. Pay very close attention to how
people respond to what you say and keep adjusting your
approach until you have a good rapport with your listener.

6. Make the other person the focus of your attention and
let him lead the conversation in the early stages. Let that
person steer the conversation onto topics that are of
interest to him.

7. Anticipate what could go wrong. Then do what you can to
make sure those scenarios do not occur. Adequate planning
is the key to performing at your best in the moment.

Of course you need to also understand the importance of low
stress communication...

After all life is all about choices. And so is the way you
communicate. You can fill your days with frustrating high
stress communication or you can have days of low stress
effective communication with your peers.

There are three great ways to ensure low stress
communication:

1. Recognize Positive Intentions

When someone you are talking to is unkind, negative or
downright rude it is easy to get annoyed, angry and even
aggressive.

However this will just makes the situation worse and even
faster than you can imagine.

There is a better way. Instead look for the positive
intention of the person you are talking to. What do I mean?

Ask yourself -- what is the positive intention behind this
behavior?

If the person you are talking to is angry maybe the
positive intention is to express some hurt or frustration.
What is important is looking for a positive not to get the
correct answer.

When you assume the person has a positive message hidden
underneath the negative exterior you will have more
compassion and patience and you will not feel so stressed
dealing with the individual.

2. Choose Your Own Emotional State

I talk a lot about the importance of managing your
emotional state. Why? Because it is an essential life skill.

Unless you are in charge of how you feel your ability to
communicate effectively will always be limited and
dependent on other people.

When you are in a potentially stressful situation and
everyone around you is losing their cool this does not mean
you have to join them! You will be able to contribute a lot
more if you remain calm and centered.

Staying calm and resourceful is a choice you can make.
Unfortunately it is all too easy to be a sheep and simply
follow the crowd. Nobody says you have to be a sheep!

Instead make a point of keeping yourself in a resourceful
state.

3. Step Outside The Situation

Whenever I am in a highly charged situation I will often
step outside the situation -- in my mind. This helps to
defuse the event for me.

You can do this too. Simply imagine that you are at the
other end of the room watching the interaction between you
and the other person or people.

It is as if you are a neutral observer with no emotional
involvement in the discussion at hand.

When you do this you will think of ideas to handle the
situation better and you will also feel less bothered by
the stress of the other people.

This is one technique you need to play with first in easy
everyday conversations. Once you get familiar with it you
will find it easy to mentally step outside the event while
still participating with the people in front of you.

Stress or relaxation which do you prefer?

If you want to improve your professional and social
standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a
positive manner. You will notice a dramatic difference in
the way other people perceive you if you demonstrate
self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.

Answer 2

Consider the source. Most people who shoot down someone's self-confidence are total losers who need to belittle others to make themselves feel good. Forget about it and move on. We've all been shot down a time or two or a hundred, and you may as well learn to get over it sooner instead of later.

Answer 3

You don't let anyone bring you down. You have to ignore people who try and bring you down and listen to the people who care about you. They will build your confidence up.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

talk with somebody who is full of self confidence and a happy person.

Answer 6

Do things that make you feel confident. Get better at those that don't.

Answer 7

deny that you are not self confident. Just deny deny deny until your conscious accepts you are the opposite.

Answer 8

Consider the source and fire back, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent!

Answer 9

suround yourslelf with positve things.. happy music good freinds, people with good attitudes.. it really does have a big effect on your outlook

Answer 10

so dont try to get a life

Answer 11

it snto too late to answer my question.. its only 11 24 here.. please answer it