My fiance & I have been together for 5 years(gettin' married next year) We had a great sex life until 2 1/2 years ago. He has 2 jobs right now, which he has to have--one is a step above a volunteer.
I've always thought men wanted to have sex all the time, I'm now realizing that's not true. I have to initiate sex if it happens and 99% of the time he's done in about 5minutes & too tired to go another round.......help me!
2006-07-28 17:46:55 · 15 answers · asked by jb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, I could've wrote that same question. Word for word.
There's not too much you can do. It depends on your guy. But what you could try to do is try different things. Wear sexy outfits, try something new.
I know how you feel. Sorry you're dealing with this.
2006-07-28 17:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by Allison 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of work or as you say two jobs wont deny mens urge to have sex.. maybe just sometimes you will credit it but if its happening everyday you have to be attentive... talk to him.. ask him whats happening? tell him you miss those first two years of being together and you want it that way again.. if he insist he is tired because of work suggest you would go on vacation for few days... if he still refuses then there must be not so good reason behind it.. it seems he pulling away or seeing someone? use your woman instinct... you do not want a 5 year relationship to be broken... but would you wait for the time you get married before you will discover he is seeing someone? act now.. talk to him when youre both in bed at night.. if he loves you he will surely adjust on things that can make you happy.... sex is just one of the factor for successful married life BUT it is sometimes the biggest reason why couples get separated,so its all in your hand to make things work...
2006-07-28 18:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe there is always more than just sex in a relationship. He is not doing it because he has 2 jobs. There is a reason. You should worry when he doesn't want to do it when there is no reason.
Maybe you can prepare a long good sex when he has enough time to rest first. And you can try to focus on something else such as do some exercise so you don't have to keep thinking of it.
2006-07-28 17:56:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a guy and found the same situation with my ex....she claims shes lost her sex drive, it seems like he's lost some feelings for you or doesnt feel the same like he used to be, he also is probably getting older and now you're both in different routines, maybe he finds himself tired in the morning when he has sex with you, you should talk to him about getting away maybe you both need a vacation, some special time together and a good talk
2006-07-28 18:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Butter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh, well he could just be tired. maybe he loves it when you initiate the sex... you should do it all the time.
Ive been telling lots of women about a couple websites that helped me.
maybe they could help you too.
http://www.elisesutton.homestead.com/QuestionForum.html
http://www.aroundherfinger.com/
good luck, keep an open mind and see if any of this will help you. dont diss it untill you are 100% sure it wont help.
try reading up on orgasm denial. it has worked for lots of other women in your situation...
Jo
2006-07-28 18:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by miss-pelld 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing can be done about the jobs. You need them both. So you must help him build the stamina, find time to jog, walk and swim, all aerobic exercises. Do them together it will help your health and your sharing. Better stamina will help him reduce stress, he will have more energy flowing thru him for his responsibilities inside your home and outside.
Besides you will have another opportunity for sharing and caring, you can talk while you jog and you can relate differently, avoiding routine.
2006-07-28 17:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not you!!!
Maybe he really is just too tired!
My guy did that for awhile, and he told me it's just the hours he works and he gets very tired and sometimes he knows that I want to be intimate, and he does it he thinks to satisfy me, when really I would just like to have known the truth right off.
When he told me why, I was more understanding at helping him achieve his sleep and then it made things better for us when we did get intimate.
2006-07-28 18:07:53 · answer #7 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is just but one of the issues in a relationship..if you say he's working double shift in a day then, prolly he might be too tired to do it...most of the time if one is tired all of your body systems cant function properly as well...so, you both need a 'breather' to cool things down a bit, take a day or days off, just relax and pamper yourselves :)
2006-07-28 20:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by just me:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
advise is to take a break & go on a holiday trips to a resort without any communication ie mobile phone, internet access.be with the nature & beach,believe yr sex life will improve greatly.
2006-07-28 17:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by Goosters 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is how it goes. Stress and jobs take a lot out of someone. What you can do is to relieve as much stress as you can at home. When he feels more relaxed he may regain his interest.
2006-07-28 17:54:10 · answer #10 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋