i think i did a mistake marrying my bf. wat shud i do?

Question

2 years ago i married my bf. he works in a call centre wit a B.com degree in hand & im a teacher. he is 4 years elder 2 me & our relationship was of 4 years b4 marriage. i had been telling him 2 study more 2 get a better job bt he kept saying he will do dis job only 4 rest of his life. im a daughter of a AICTE director-a rich, succesful & respected man. i got many proposals from ministers, doctors, enginners, rich men bt i choosed my bf. now i think i did a mistake marrying him. dere is no money in da house. he is very loving, caring, coperative. but i want money also. im worried abt my kids. im not able to lead my life da way i did in my dad's house. my parents r worried & asking me 2 adjust. i refused money from them & am teaching in schools since i got married. & now im thinkig wat else can i do 2 earn more money. he is hopeless. our working timings r different,even in weekends so v cant spend time together. actually i dont feel like. as a result we r nt happy. dont know wat to do.

Answer 1

Hi Gehna, your bachelor life was different, and now your married life is different. When you were a bachelor, you were financially good but you were in need of love which your boyfriend can give you and that is the reason you chose your boyfriend to marry by refusing all the other matrimonial proposals.

And now, when your husband/boyfriend is loving, caring & co-operative with you, you're feeling a shortage of money as your hubby is unable to earn upto your expectations. I agree that you have your wishes to come true and you have rights to think of kids future.

Suppose if you would have been married long back to any minister or doctor or engineer or any rich businessman, then you might have been had good money with you, but you will not have got the love, the co-operation and the caring which your present hubby is giving you now. Think of it, money & love, both are important. If you are unhappy because you don't have enough money now, then be happy for the loving and caring husband you have got now.

You did a very good thing by refusing the money from your parents. Please maintain this, otherwise this will lead to the problems between you and your hubby. Start spending very less and saving more. Concentrate on improving your present skills and gaining more and more knowledge in one particular field of your interest, this will definitely help you in earning more money, in the long-term.

It's important in marriage to satisfy each other in all the aspects by giving time to each other. Make out your and his weekly schedule and allot some QUALITY time exclusively for you both and your kids. You can do it by minimizing the time which is being given to other unimportant tasks.

Hope this will help out. Take care, bye.
Do reply the improvements to me.

Answer 2

You really need to wake up to yourself, if there are any problems in your marriage it is not because of your husbands job. He is obviously a well educated man and he is holding down a job, so many people out there can't and will not do that! Maybe they are not well paying jobs but it is a start. If you have to accept a help from your parents maybe you should do it for some backing and then improve your own future. Don't blame it all on one person, a marriage consists of two adults!
Learn to respect him, communicate better with each other, perhaps circumstances might change.
Good luck.

Answer 3

if the parents want to help out - take the money and put it toward the kids college funds --- I don't know why you two aren't doing better - since you both are working --- I did fine on 25,000 a year(single girl) --- I lived within my means ---- and I learned how to do financial planning... most people I know want a big house - new car - all the latest fads etc.... sure, I lived in a trailer(I kept it looking good), my car was an Eldorado(paid for) and all I had to pay for was basic necessities. I wasn't worrying about a big mortgage payment -- or maxed out on credit cards --- I didn't have outstanding loans....
you two need to sit down and work out a comfortable working arrangement and plan a budget and live within your means---
I am also wondering if your post is for real --- the grammar doesn't fit a school teacher - or one who is raised in an affluent home.

Answer 4

You knew he would never be able to suport you in a lifestyle like your father did, yet you once knew that money was not what makes people happy. Happiness is a choice. You don't need a fancy car, a big house or new shoes. You need a good man and father to your kids and you need to be a good woman and mother. He sounds like a wonderful father and husband. Why don't you decide to be happy and give your husband a huge kiss when he gets home today and every day. Say something nice to him everyday. Tell him you are glad he is the father of your children. Forget about what kind of house you live in and pay attention to what kind of home you live in.

Answer 5

First off, you have found someone who is willing to put up with your illiterate ***. I think you should probably stay with him. Second, you don't at all sound like a gold digger, willing to leave him just because he isn't making enough money for you.
But I am sure you had those special vows at your wedding "for richer, for richer, in sickness, but mostly in health, till I decide your pockets aren't fat enough". Get a grip.
Ever heard the saying behind every successfull man, there is a strong women. I am starting to see why he's having trouble.

Answer 6

well the question is what did you marry for?, was it money to begin with, if not, then money shouldnt come up now, in vows, (richer or poorer). so i suggest take a deep long look into your soul is what you want in life things? or do you want a man that loves you uncondionally?, this is hard i know, but the time comes in are life when we die, that your in front of out maker, are you assuming, that because you have lots of money, u can buy your way in?. it dosnt work like that. i know we all need money to survive, but he does work and so do you. your pure love should all that is needed to make a great life together

Answer 7

Wow u base ur marriage on money.. lol .. no the mistake wasnt urs, the mistake was your bf's for marrying such a shallow worthless woman that took vows and because he doesnt have money she wants to leaave..

Answer 8

money isn't everything.

you might made a mistake once by choosing your love for that guy.... why not stick more to that mistake and try to make it the right one.. everything may not come as you want them to be... but in time things will go your way... hang on... and think about your kids.. it is harder to raise kids even if you have money... rather than little fortune but with daddy... you will be needing him on your side will raising your children..

if you give up now, think about your kids...of what would they be without their real father.
you just have to hold on more...eventually, things that you want will come your way...

goodluck!!!!

Answer 9

The problem is fairly common in India. Before marriage , we live in dream houses. After marriage when we face reality , we try to find mistakes in others.
The solution lies in both of you. Count your blessings not worries.

Answer 10

You need to learn the english. the word is the, not da. I hope u r not an english teacher