I dont mean a seperation i just mean time apart. My hubby and I have been married almost 6 years and we havent spent but the time hes at work apart. We always do things together. (He did go out of town for work for two weeks about a year ago but thats about it) those have been the only nights we didnt spend together. we got together in june '99 and havent been apart since.
I have asked him if he would like to "go out with the guys" and he always says "what guys the only people i know are from work and i have to deal with them all day why whould i want to extend the time with them?" Nither of us actually have any friends sept for each other. (never did) He has always said he'd rather spend time with me and the kids than be anywhere else.
2006-07-28 17:16:14 · 8 answers · asked by naightengale 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
in addition the problems we are having is almost no sex, NO talking, we are more like roomies than a married couple. He comes in from work eats what i have fixed for dinner and sits down and reads till 9 then he goes to bed. (there is also a 45 min bathroom trip in there somewhere too, and no he dont do any thing while hes in there sept read and poop.) He reads mystery novels and things like Harry Potter. he has read all 6 of the Harry Potter books about 5 times each.
oh and if time apart woulnt help could you tell me what Would bit something back into my marriage and get him out of the books.
2006-07-28 17:33:10 · update #1
Hey been there and still there. Why dont u go meet some friends and develop some hobbies then u wont have time to notice the same routine everyday.After some time every relationship will set into monotony. The only thing we can do is bring some freshness by ourselves by going on a holiday ,having a party ,rearranging house.It will also keep us busy and spice up life for sometime.
2006-07-28 19:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It almost sounds like the person you're worrying about is you! Do you think you need more time to yourself? Do you miss having friends to hang with? From what you've written, he doesn't seem like a night with the boys is what he wants. In my own relationships, the woman I'm with is the person I'm interested in. I don't want a night with the boys, I want to spend it with my best friend. You don't really mention a specific problem, but I get the feeling you are both maybe a bit bored. Why don't you try joining some groups you can both be members of, or get involved in a charity. I don't think time apart is ever a solution to anything. See if there's something you might both do to refocus on something besides what do we do now? If the problem is that you'd like time alone, make sure it's something that doesn't give any hint at all that you'll be "on the hunt." In other words, a night shopping, or the aforementioned charity work, just something that won't make him feel threatened. Good luck!
2006-07-29 00:25:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! If you leave this guy who stays with you and the kids, you will lose him. Married life sometimes gets like this, where things are slow but comfortable. If you need some time with friends, then join a gym or a church, or take a night course once a week or something. If you are not comfortable, talk with him about it, and if that doesn't work, go see a marriage counsellor (if he thinks that is uneccessary and won't go with you, you can still talk to one on your own, to get her opinion on your situation).
2006-07-29 14:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by crazyperson1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need time apart, you need communication. And if he doesn't wanna talk about the problem, and find a solution together, try pro help. If this still doesn't work, cause this takes time, then I think you should seriously think about what kind of life you'll have in the future with him. Then decide.
2006-07-29 00:45:27 · answer #4 · answered by urpi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, so you got one of them dedicated husbands that would rather spend time with you and you not happy about that?
something is wrong with you, seriously wrong.
go through some of the posts on this site about how some poor girl is stuck at home every night because her hubby goes out with the boys and never spends any time with her and then you will realize how lucky you are.
2006-07-29 00:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sad. Maybe it's just YOU. Maybe you just need time apart from your Husband. Talk to him and see how he feels. Let him know that you are feeling the way you are. But if you don't tell him how you are feeling, things might get ulgy. Your negative feelings might build up... My advice is to talk to him. Set a time to sit and chit chat about You.
2006-07-29 00:33:29 · answer #6 · answered by This1Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get away from him take some time for your self make friends force him to take the kids shopping the more u spend togather the worse
2006-07-29 00:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by keanda g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time apart cannot help your marriage. Face it... you want to sow your wild oats and are trying to justify your desires.
2006-07-29 00:27:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋