jealousy..please help!?

Question

ok ive been with my bf for over a year and a half. weve had a great relationship, for the most part. we hardly ever fight and when we do, we make up really quick.the only problem with the relationship is ME. i have a horrible jealousy issue. my bf has never given me a reason to not trust him or to make me think he'd cheat on me. he always tells me how much he loves mes and thinks i'm the most beautiful girl in the world. but my jealousy seems to actually be getting worse as time goes on. i get all upset if i think i see him look at a girl or if he looks at a girl's myspace or if he talks to a girl...if he looks at a celebrity for more than a second. i know there's something wrong with me. i feel like im becoming controlling and possessive. i know i cant control him or his thoughts. and i don't check out guys or do anything wrong to make me feel guilty.so i don't know where this is coming from.what is wrong with me?help please!how do i get over this jealousy. it is taking over my life.

how do i find a counselor/therapist that could help with this sort of problem? is there a search online i could do?

Answer 1

i am also insanely jealous. my wife is so very beautiful and well, i am less than desireable. i have such a problem with jealousy and self confidence. i was so unbelievably opposed to my wife getting on myspace because i didnt want any guys looking at her and me not being able to do anything about it. i get that enough when we're at the mall or something and a guy walks by, looking my wife up and down. it infuriates me. i put a stop to it right quick and in a hurry then, tho. of course it makes me proud too when im the one that gets to have her when its all said and done. i also understand about the "looking at celebs" part of your question. my wife and i watched that movie called "into the blue" with paul walker in it. she had said that he was cute and i got so mad at her. i dont know what came over me. you arent abnormal or anything. you just want to protect what is yours. its only natural. i get so pissed when my wife sees some hot guy that she used to go to school with and they start talking and they both ignore me until they're done. this one guy tried to come up and hug her with me standin right there!!! i stepped in his way and looked at him like " you take one more step and you're done" he backed off, but pouted the whole time he and my wife were talkin. its totally normal to feel the way you do. its just a matter of learning how to control it. whenever i feel the urge to hurt someone b/c im so jealous, i just make myself think about how much i love my wife and that i trust her and that she'll always love me no matter what. then, just for fun, i make a mental list of all the things that make me better than the person that im jealous of. it sounds silly, but try it. it works. you'll feel better. but whatever you do, dont think that you're weird cuz ur not. there are lots of jealous people out there........ im one of 'em.

Answer 2

F U C K ok ive been with my bf for over a year and a half. weve had a great relationship, for the most part. we hardly ever fight and when we do, we make up really quick.the only problem with the relationship is ME. i have a horrible jealousy issue. my bf has never given me a reason to not trust him or to make me think he'd cheat on me. he always tells me how much he loves mes and thinks i'm the most beautiful girl in the world. but my jealousy seems to actually be getting worse as time goes on. i get all upset if i think i see him look at a girl or if he looks at a girl's myspace or if he talks to a girl...if he looks at a celebrity for more than a second. i know there's something wrong with me. i feel like im becoming controlling and possessive. i know i cant control him or his thoughts. and i don't check out guys or do anything wrong to make me feel guilty.so i don't know where this is coming from.what is wrong with me?help please!how do i get over this jealousy. it is taking over my life.

Answer 3

The first step to self-improvement is acknowledging the problem. No there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe you had a relationship in the past where that person was unfaithful, so you still have issues with that. I know how you feel, you have a good thing and you don't want anyone or anything to come near it that would jeopardize taking your love away. BUT.....please beware! You need to calm yourself and get control of this right away because your actions could force someone away, not even conscious of what you are really doing. If he hasnt' EVER given you a reason, you've GOT to trust him and trust what he says. Yes, it is still perfectly normal for men (and women) to be attracted to other men or women they see, but it doesn't mean they would ever act on it. An example would be that you and your friends see a picture of Nick Lachey on the front of a magazine and you say "Wow! He's hot!" Does that mean you love your boyfriend any less? My guess is probably not. It is the same way for him when he sees other attractive women, but in his heart he knows that he has a wonderful girlfriend in you and would never in his wildest dreams think of being unfaithful (and you know this). Just trust him and please terminate your possessive and controlling ways before you drive him away. Hope that helps you some. I know these things are hard. Good luck!

Answer 4

OMG I went through the exact samething I was just like u I would even get jealous if he would look at celebritys, and even my sister and i couldn't take it any more i wasn't happy well we both weren't.We have 2 years and 3 months together and when we would fight it was my fault cuz i would be getting after him for looking at some girl when he wasn't really checking her out it was just my head teasing me. But then my best friend told me if u really love him and u plan to have a future with him u have to trust him no matter how hard it is.Let me tell u took me a long while but with my boyfriends help we made it he was willing to do anything just to save our relationship. So talk to ur b/f tell him to help u trust me i know how u feel and u have a thing called (Paranoia) which is what u are going through with that jealousy u remind me off me i would really like it if u could send me an email to tell me more about this and mayb i can help u.Please right to me ur question really interested me alot.U can email me if like at [e-mail] well I hope I can help with anything if u have any questions go right ahead and ask im 17 yrs old.Goodluck

Answer 5

This is a serious and relationship damaging issue. You may want to consider getting some counseling so you can get to the root of the problem and figure out where this issue stems from. You may have some low self esteem problems or maybe a past relationship that went sour and is still affecting you. Whatever it is you need to do something because this jealousy thing will eventually start to destroy your relationship.

Answer 6

My wife is the same way. She doesn't want me to look at anyone else, celebrity or otherwise, because she will feel that she's not enough for me and that I'll stray, even though it's not true. It drives me crazy! She censors the TV, she hides the TV Guide, and Playboy is out of the question. But you women are like a bunch of cats, ready to claw each others eyes out. Guys aren't like that. We can look at an attractive woman and move on. If you found a phone number in your boyfriend's pocket or reason to suspect that he cheated on you than you could worry. But if he's never given you reason to doubt him, cut the guy some slack !

Answer 7

Check the phone book for women's services. There are usually a number of them that have counseling or can refer you to a proper resource. Jealousy is very self destructive and you need some help.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like you are insecure with yourself. You have actually taken the first step to fixing your problem... you have admitted you have one. You must have had some "trust" issues in the past? Just remember, no matter who he looks at, who he talks to or who he drools over... it's YOU who HAS him. Be proud of that. There is nothing more attractive than a confident woman.

Answer 9

Okay to start with, woman, you must now not be jealous of the ladies in porn. What is there to be jealous approximately? Those ladies are there for one motive, they usually serve that one motive best. Your boyfriend appears at that best to meet that motive, porn is vain or else. Unless you examine your self to these ladies in pornos, you must now not be jealous of that due to the fact that you are valued at a lot more to him. Every woman will get a bit of green with envy of different ladies their boyfriends speak approximately, it is completely typical! There's no must consider disgusting or nugatory. I imply heck, in the event you did not care in any respect whether or not your boyfriend had curiosity in different ladies, THAT could be worrisome. But bottomline is, woman you simply gotta flaunt it. Like you know the way ladies like 'unhealthy boys,' frequently it is due to the fact that in their trust, and it is the equal notion with ladies. You simply gotta appear at your self within the reflect and say 'I'm splendid :)" We all consider insecure, and while you appear at different ladies that you just consider are faultless, probabilities are they are crying of their room each night time approximately their insecurities too. So simply be optimistic and love your self!

Answer 10

Jealousy will eat you up! you must find a way to let go of it because it will steal your joy of your relationship now and any future relationships you have.Think of it as war!Be at war with yourself every time you feel,act,or express jealousy say to yourself this is not real this is not real"Satan" is trying to steal from me my joy.Fight this jealousy with everything you have,I believe this feeling is not of God so fight it with love.Every time you feel jealous love your bf even more say something nice to him complement him.Fight it girl or it will eat you up!