I am just curious. If it is normal to want a relationship that has been full of control and emotional abuse to end so badly, but then as it looks to be almost over to be afraid. We're not married. That's got to be a plus right?
2006-07-28 15:44:05 · 10 answers · asked by doesitmatter 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you all for your overwhelming supportive answers. I really didn't think anyone would give a sweet ****! I was wrong. This is really a tough situation cause there is a child involved and I am starting college in the Fall. I also have a son that he has never accepted. Its been alot of emotional b.s. He has been telling us all along he wants to live apart but now that it's about to happen he seems to want to stay together. I want to move on. I can't live like this anymore. What kind of an example am I setting if I stay? Its terrible. He hits things not us but the emotional stuff is overwhelming us.
2006-07-28 16:12:26 · update #1
It's normal to be scared. It's that you are entering new territory without the control factor. Remind yourself why you are doing this and remember to never let anyone treat you badly again. Learn to recognize it and stop it before it grips every aspect of your life.
Fear can be healthy, if it is directed in the right way. You could be facing more challenges up ahead, but remind yourself of this...they are challenges you can meet and overcome. They are growing experiences that will make your life richer. Trust yourself.
Everyone deserves to be taken care of and everyone deserves to be loved. Not everyone realizes that those things begin within themselves. Leaving an abuser is the first step to loving and caring for yourself so that one day, someone else can love you and care for you the same way. No one else can give you those things unless you can give them to yourself. The sooner you can get away and clear your head, get past the pain, accept what has happened and heal, the sooner you can open your heart to yourself and someone else.
You are the most important person in your life. No one can take better care of you than you can.
2006-07-28 15:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by 0000000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think It's absolutely normal to feel afraid and scared when It appears to be over, but I believe that you must follow trough and leave your abusive partner, threes no reason in the world why a person in any relationship should be controlled and abused physically or mentally, your partner has personal issues and he is using you to fulfill his warped seance of feeling normal. Chances are that he was abused in the same manner and now he's treating you that way.
Leave the looser and move on because I don't believe he will ever change.
2006-07-28 23:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by featherhead 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I speak from personal experience. I was in a relationship with a guy when I was 14. He was 5 years older, and liked to beat the crap out of me when things didnt go his way. He also forcibly took my virginity. I finally got away a year later and spent the next 3 years trying to overcome the ordeal and to stop dating that type of guy. I am now happily married with two beautiful children. I still occasionally feel the need for control, and catch myself cringing at raised voices. You never fully get over something like that but if you can overcome it, then it makes you a better person and stronger in life.
2006-07-28 23:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by neabean18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah that's a plus. I divorced a very, very, abusive man three years ago. I was real afraid too. Just when you start being afraid, think back to the real bad times of that relationship. Think of all the hurtful things he said to you. Trust me that will help the fear subside. I have never been happier since I got away from him!!!!!
2006-07-28 23:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by snoopy1147 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its normal to be Little scared. But I think its abnormal if you take any kind of abuse. especially if you have children. They are watching and they are learning behavior. If you have a daughter then someday she might think it's okay to be abused because you stayed and was abused. And if you have a son, well he's learning something too. Get out of there ASAP
2006-07-28 23:21:37 · answer #5 · answered by Lori L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You fear the unknown, i.e. the life after the abuse is ended, which will make demands on you that probably were usurped by the controller-
don't worry about it. It is best to get out of hell first, then take time to gain your equilibrium and enjoy being by yourself for a while.
2006-07-28 23:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES I THINK IT IS BUT ABUSE IS NEVER GOOD. YOURE ONLY AFRAID CAUSE YOU ARE USED TO THE ABUSE AND DONT KNOW HOW TO REACT TO TRUE LOVE. FIND A FRIEND AND STAY WITH THEM. TRY TO STAY WITH THE SAME SEX FRIEND UNTIL YOU ARE OVER THE ABUSIVE EX. DONT LET ANYONE HURT YOU!!! YOU DESERVE RESPECT!! DONT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-28 22:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by cowboyskid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about being alone ! it's really quite liberating to be lazy if you want take or not take a shower if you want puton makeup if you want spend money on whatever u want clean house or not if u want must i go on ??? take the step ! BE FREE
2006-07-28 23:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by transplanted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abusive relationships are psychological warfare, and brainwashing at best.
2006-07-28 22:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i hate china and i think they need to become like us.
2006-08-01 16:32:05 · answer #10 · answered by Xeng K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋