How can I control my jelousy?

Question

I have a problem. People tell me that I am pretty, but when i hear pple talk about how pretty this other girl is , she has the most bluests eyes, or beautiful dark eyes ,skin, hair. O r if pple say wow she is so tall she is so lucky. I get reallly down. I get so jelous and i shouldn't.

Answer 1

It's because you have vested too much of your self worth in your beauty. Beauty is a grand thing to have, however, beauty does fade to wrinkles and age. How will you cope then? Your best bet is to be better than your beauty. Play an instrument very well, engage in a sport to your ability, be scholastically superb! Find out who your soul is, because it seems you know your body.

Answer 2

Ok I get jealous too sometimes but not as much as I used too. From what I know you maybe suffering from the " halo effect" so we know your good looking and thats not the problem, the issue is that your EXPECTING the attention ALL the time, I call it the Preferential Treatment Syndrome ( PTS ) Next time someone says you have pretty eyes, you need to actually sincerely APPRECIATE it, and slowly you will see the difference in yourself. Again tune in too that jealousy and get to the bottom of it. Try taking this jealousy test , here is the link. Have Fun.

Answer 3

First, you must realize that you are being jealous and that it is causing a problem. This may seem easy, but many jealous people have a different idea about what is acceptable behavior when it comes to the opposite sex. While one person might think that having lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex is fine, a jealous person would think it was inappropriate. The biggest hurdle is coming to the conclusion that what your partner did was not necessarily wrong, just different from your standards.

Secondly, you have to raise your self esteem. There is some reason that your idea of acceptable behavior is different than your partner’s idea of acceptable behavior. While the reason may be due to the way your parents interacted with each other, another common reason is a lack of self esteem. If you are insecure with yourself, you may be expecting your partner to cheat on you. If you spend all your time looking for signs; you will find them. Don’t underestimate your imagination.

Next, you need to communicate. If your spouse truly loves you, they will work with you. Now, that doesn’t mean that they will lock themselves in a closet and keep their eyes lowered to the floor to avoid eye contact with people of the opposite sex. However, they may try to stay calm when you get upset and may give you more assurance than normal that they love you. They may also avoid having lunch with coworkers of the opposite sex, or other situations that may not be wrong, but will not hurt them to avoid.

Now, you will also need to look at your own behavior. In order to ask your partner to work with you on this problem, you need to make sure that you are not using a double standard. You can not ask your partner not to have lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex, if you don’t see anything wrong with having lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex yourself

Lastly, avoid situations that will cause you to become jealous. Don’t take your partner to places where there are a lot of outgoing men or women. I am specifically talking about bars. This may be a place where you and your partner like to hand out with friends, but it is also a place where men and women go to find dates. Also, do not introduce your partner to friends you don’t trust. If you have a problem remembering that the only person you need to trust is your partner, than don’t bring them to places where someone might flirt with them'

Answer 4

I know what your problem is : )
You say "people say you are pretty" how do you feel about yourself?
Look into a mirror and see what you would change about yourself if you could
If their is nothing you would change then you can start to except who you are.
So what you have to learn is to love yourself and see the qualities that other people see.
Everyone has their own unique quality.
Beauty is in the eye's of the beholder : )

Love & Blessings
Milly

Answer 5

I get like that too. But just remember that everybody gets jealous. I'm sure that there are tons of people who are jealous of you. If people start talking about some other girl try changing the subject. Good luck!

Answer 6

That is not jealousy,but lack of confidence.! When you take on the world,be happy about everything about yourself! You are going to make mistakes,but learn from your mistakes and you will really bloom!

Answer 7

look,
i know exactly how you feel!
you shouldn't be jealous, but you are. it's natural. everybody is jealous of someone else. this other girl, i don't know her, but I'm pretty sure she is really jealous of someone Else. once, i was jealous of some other girl, i tolled her that, and i just found out she was jealous of me! you just need to talk it out!
hope you like my advice! ^__^ !

Answer 8

you can't control your emotions but you can up your confidence it really does attract attention and dont worry about everybody elses opinion of how YOu look your the judge of that

Answer 9

I think that you should totally just kill any person who is cuter than you or taller or skinnier or smarter or ... well... anything ... maybe you should just kill everyone, then there would be noone to be jealous of.

Answer 10

i am the same way too i think it's just a fixation that we have...you know we're ambitious always looking to be the best but it's okay just be who you are