I care alot about the woman Im marrying. Wouldnt leave her for anyone else. I take good care of her, and we enjoy a great relationship. But I enjoy sex with multiple women. I cant help it. I have 4 other female sexual partners. How can I stop? or should I? I feel bad about it, yet... I love sex. Is this abnormal?
2006-07-28 13:57:50 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
It is true that many people enjoy sex with many others... however when you marry a person you are saying that you will only have sex with that one person forever...
It doesn't mean you wont want to have sex with others, it doesn't mean you wont think or even fantasise about having sex with others. but It does mean you are promising not to follow through on that want, thought or fantasy.
You stop having sex with others by simply not having sex with them. Simple. Nothing hard about it.
2006-07-31 15:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WoW... you say your lost but I'm lost. Ok you say you wouldn't leave her and you take care of her but do you LOVE her? Do you even know what love is? I feel really sorry for her because you can't treat her with the respect she deserves. If she has said that she doesn't want an open relationship but you do then leave or have the balls to tell her. She deserves to know your sleeping with other women and that you could or might pass on an STD to her. (condoms don't protect against everything) That's total DISRESPECT AGAIN! If you marry her it's only going to end up worse if you keep on sleeping around. If somewhere deep down in yourself you feel you do love her then STOP. How would you feel is she had 4 other male sexual partners?
2006-07-28 21:13:00 · answer #2 · answered by Lelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agreed. Don't get married with this problem. And tell her the truth. She doesn't need to learn a year down the road. Divorce is expensive. And don't think she won't find out because the truth is ALWAYS brought to light. It might not be today, this week, or even this year. But sooner or later she will find out. You don't need this hanging over your head. If you over come this and she finds out years down the road you're only going to be adding lying to your list of failures. The truth can hurt but not half as much as a lie.
Secondly, if by some chance you manage to salvage this relationship you need to invest everything you have in spending time with her. Spice it up with her, stay focused on her. If that's a problem... if you can't do it... then she's not the one for you. Whats more you are really not the one for her.
If you can't stay faithful and focused on her then you're just going to hurt her and make her feel like she wasn't enough.
Seriously... you need to look at the bigger picture. This is not about you. This is about her and doing what is best for her.
2006-07-29 18:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by Allie5277 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In answer to your question, you have to want to stop. You need t be self-motivated to curtail this activity. If you cannot be, like others who have posted, I would have to say that you're not ready to be married. You also have an obligation to tell her this. If you don't and you go through with the wedding, keeping a secret like this will destroy the marriage and make your life crazy. Having sex with multiple partners while in a committed relationship can lead to other problems as well. You need to look honestly at yourself. If you cannot come clean to her then you shouldn't get married, if you cannot stop, (and I am assuming she isn't looking for a swinging marriage), you are not truly committed to her.
2006-07-30 01:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by tcos...a guy with questions 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sounding too much like the right time to be getting married if you can't keep it in your pants.... You should not be doing this until you get some help.... How would you feel if she was screwing someone on the side? Multiply that by a trillion and yes it would probably break her heart.. Have you ever read your vows for the wedding? Anyone can get married but to make it work takes lots of effort and you are not starting off on very solid ground... Get help or break it off.. ⥠Married for 13 years and counting....... ⥠And happy too.! â¥
2006-07-29 23:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by . 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't be with one woman exclusively (or don't want to), then why do you want to get married?
Are you saying that you want an "open" marriage? Are you saying you're going to cheat on your wife after you're married? Are you just wanting to have your cake and eat it too? Does your fiancee know about this? Have you talked to her at about how you feel at all, or are you just lying to her and/or keeping her in the dark? If you are, this is one hell of a way to start out your marriage.
Make up your mind and decide what you want. If the life you want is not the life your fiancee wants, break off the engagement. The sooner you end it, the less it will hurt.
2006-07-28 21:00:34 · answer #6 · answered by I Know Nuttin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Woman you are going to marry deserves a man that can be faithful to her. So do the children that you and she might have. If you cannot stop then do NOT marry her. She will , in some way or another catch you , then you will have hurt her tremendously. Trust, honesty and loyalty are benchmarks of a good marriage. You will have none of these. It is such a shame these days that men give themselves permission to cheat. You can really get yourself in a lot of trouble with women that you hurt in this way. Hope none of them cut your peter off! Loser!
2006-07-28 21:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by LoveMyLife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do to honor and respect this woman that you are planning to marry is to not marry her until you can straighten this thing out in your life! No woman deserves this when this is the most important day of her life!! The day she has been waiting for and dreaming about ever since she was a little girl, trying on her moms shoes, and playing dress up!
Hey!!! Get a grip and seek counseling. It's extremely vital that you do that. If not for your sake that do it for her in good faith.
2006-07-31 20:27:29 · answer #8 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Morally, you have to commit tothe one you marry.
That is the old and approved way.
I tell you this: Real estate and sex is a lot alike--Get lots while you're young, that way the memories will keep you occupied when your sex drive is giving you the limber timber.
Try introducing the bride to some of the other girls. A three way is fun, a four way wow o wow. Never been to more, but go for it and see what happens
2006-07-28 21:04:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you could do is get married. It's not fair to either of you. The only way it might work is if both of you agree to allow relationships with others and I doubt that will happen. No matter how much pressure there is, there's no way that it will work so save everyone a lot of grief and Don't get married.
2006-07-28 22:50:46 · answer #10 · answered by Thomas C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋