A year ago, I found out my husband cheated on me with 5 different people. One of them was my best friend. We have a 2 year old daughter. I have tried counseling, but I am still having a hard time getting past this and not having "hate in my heart". Will this ever go away? I stayed with husband because of daughter, now I thing I regret that decision. Best friend is no more. She broke my heart more than my husband ever could. She was my soul-mate. I lost other friends that new about it, too. I lost a lot. Help.
2006-07-28 13:39:08 · 19 answers · asked by isabellesmommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh wow.....i know where you are coming from.I had this happen to me.My boyfriend went over to one of my friends house and supposely stayed the night.Noone told me that he was there.About 2 days later,I had a family friend call me and tell me about it.So when he came home,I asked him about it and told him that I want to know Why?What did I do wrong?He told me that he needed someone to talk to and that he didnt know who to go to.Ok,yea,well what about me.He got down on his knee and told me that he was so sorry that it wouldnt happen again.At this point,all the trust I had was out the day for him and her.
Well the day came when i came face to face with her.She told me that she had kissed him and nothing else happen and that he walked out of the house and left.And she only said things that they had ****** because she wanted what I had.By the way,this girl had the rep of being a WHORE.Shesaid that she slept with some of her other friends man.After all of the girls found out about this.She lost all the friends,she had.
You know,when you are in a relationship you try to make him/her happy.But sometimes,there is something that goes wrong and you are there wondering Why.Yes,there is no reason to cheat on the person you love.But sometimes it takes something like this to show you that you have something good that you could lose at any time.It is not 2 years later,My boyfriend and I are still together.We couldnt be better.Also we have a daughter that turned one.There is nothing in the world that I would change.Things happen for a reason.I know it will take time to build the trust up again.But think of all the good times that your husband and you have/had.And think about yall daughter.You dont want your daughter growing up in a broken home.I know I wouldnt.Yes,it hurts,but time will heal it.Good Luck and God Bless..
2006-07-28 14:01:40 · answer #1 · answered by ~Devilz~ 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I had almost the same problem..only thing that was different is that my husband (now Ex) didn't have a child together...but I did find out that he was having an affair with my Best Friend of 15 years....they both denied it....we divorced and now they are married.... but it wont be long before he or she cheats again....Once a cheater always a CHEAT!!!! It has been almost 4 years since this happened I have since married and have a 2 year old son with my new husband, and NO I'm still not over loosing my Best Friend....but in time i will and you will tooo....Best of Luck to you!!
2006-07-28 13:54:14 · answer #2 · answered by brat71825 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't know if you can move past that sort of thing. If it's been this long and you still feel hate for him, I don't think staying for the daughter is the best solution. She knows this and can feel it whether you say anything or not. She deserves a happy mommy and you deserve to be happy. I know that is easier said than done, but 5 women? Your BEST friend?I don't think I'd trust him again either. You said you tried counseling, but did he go with you? I watched Dr. Phil talk about the infidelity one day and the husband was asking how long it would take the wife to get over it and Dr. Phil told him "as long as it takes, and you need to deal with whatever she give you here, for as long as it takes". Question I guess is, how long is long enough for you? God speed!
2006-07-28 13:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by buggoff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i believe that no one can force you or brain wash you to have an affair. Plus you said it happened more than once, so you knew what you were doing. Best friend? I think not, lol..So does this mean that you just cant be trusted around any men who are married or in a relationship and they try to be your friend? If he is saying he loves you already , I seriously doubt it only happened 2-3 times , What else can you do? You have to tell her, espeically if you plan on keeping the baby. Also, what does your age have to do with anything?
2016-03-27 04:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Healing takes time. It will come, though, Friends come and go but, you married your husband for better or worst.
This will not be easy but you must forgive him thats the only way that your healing will begin. He seems to have a big problem with adultery and respect. He needs to go for MORE counseling (with someone with a strong moral foundation) with you and separately for himself. He truly needs help. Its going to be a long road ahead of you but, it will be worth it in the end.
As for the friend, she could not have possibly have been a soul mate because soul mates are true to one another.
I pray that God will help you with the pain you are going thru.
And guess what... you husband should come before your friends. Many people don't honor this but its true. You seem like a nice person, so you will make better friendships. just becareful of what you look for in a friend.
You need to dismiss her. She has no respect for you.
2006-07-28 13:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't forgiven him yet and until you can do that the relationship won't improve. It may come to the point that you realize you can't forgive him. Forgiveness is difficult, but it can happen. I don't think you have hate in your heart, I think your heart is just broken right now. If your living with regret for your decision, you may have to rethink that decision now. I know you have lost a lot, but think of it this way, you didn't loose your daughter or yourself. Best of luck to you.
2006-07-28 16:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way that you get past this, is you get a divorce, child support, alimony, and a new husband that loves you and would never ever hurt you for any reason. I lost my husband to my best friend, and the only way is to move on, get a better life and show him that you don't need his Lieing cheating nasty type around anymore. Hurt him back by moving on, and find someone that loves you for you.
2006-07-28 14:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you regret staying with your husband, then why are you still there? You aren't doing your child any favors by keeping it in a home where the parents aren't loving and happy. If you've tried to work through this and cannot, then move on...this life is too short to spend it with someone you do not trust or are not happy with...give yourself the opportunity to be happy, either as a single or with someone one else down the road...
2006-07-28 13:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. Get a lawyer and your finaces in order and leave. It will be very hard but how much longer can you put yourself and your child through this. Do you want your daughter growing up thinking that it is ok to be treated this way by a man? Believe me it will hurt a lot more if you stick around. I mean 5 women!! Which you know about...Think about it.... Good luck sister and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
2006-07-28 13:52:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry. It is totally normal to have lost the trust and hate him. If you cannot take it any more let your heart guide you to make the right decision. I believe there are biblical reasons to get divorced in your case. God would not make you stay in a marriage where you are not loved. Believe me, if you cannot forgive, your emotional healing will come only when you decide to move on with your life. Do not take my word. Search your heart.
2006-07-28 13:46:04 · answer #10 · answered by Missy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋