Which would you choose?

Question

Your family, or someone you love but of the same gender.

What if your family was somewhat violent homophobic, and you feared their reaction.

It is not right to let love pass you by, but it would be somewhat suicidal to be who you truly are...

Which would you choose? Which is right?

Answer 1

id go with love

Answer 2

Firstly, you shouldn't have to choose between your family and your partner. Any homophobia from your family is their problem - not yours. Homophobia is based upon misunderstanding and fear.

If you are homosexual, then trying to marry someone of the opposite gender is a lie. Unfortunately, there are a lot of homosexuals who went down this route (pressured by family, religion and homophobia) and it only resulted in heartbreak and devastation - is this what your family really wants?

If you're bisexual, then your family might come up with something along the lines of "if you're bisexual, then why can't you wait until a member of the opposite sex comes along," and your answer would be "I can't help who I fall in love with - whether its a male or female".

Research has shown that most people who accept LGBT people, personally know someone who is LGBT. Does your family know anyone who is LGBT? (I don't mean celebrities). They might be homophobic now, but would they still continue to do so once they knew that one of their own was LGBT?

If you did come out to your family, then it may be a total shock to them - or they might already know anyway. If they do respond negatively to begin with, you'll need to give them time to come round - after all, you've had your whole life in which to come to terms with things - your family may not have had the same amount of time.

If anyone in your family does become violent, then you can report this to your local police as a homophobic crime. All police forces in the UK (assuming thats where you are) have divisions which cater fot hate crime (whether its race, religion or sexual orientation). Hate related crime is taken very seriously by the police.

Answer 3

Ah, all the old platitudes come back---blood is thicker than water--and you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. I love my family very much. I would do almost anything for them. I have threatened to quit my job more than once when the company wouldn't give me time off for a family emergency. I can always get another job! But LOVE!!! Ah, love is what makes the world go around. My partner is my very heart and soul. To lose her would lose my very breath. My mother does not particularly like my life mate, but after 25 years she can no longer deny that we are a couple. My mom searched for love all her life, had 3 marriages and 2 divorces. She will eventually pass on. It's my life that has to continue on. The choice is yours, follow your heart-- not necessarily the head.

Answer 4

To thy own self be true . You are the only person who can answer that . You and only you know what is important to your way of life . You know that eventually you will have to be honest with yourself and be true to your nature , You can't deny what comes natural to you . If you think you are passing up a chance for happiness it might be wise to take another look . Love doesn't come along every day and happiness isn't easy to find in this life . Ultimately you have to do what is going to be best for you , If your family doesn't accept and love you for who you are then it may be best to separate your self from them for a while . Whatever you decide best of luck to you .

Answer 5

Hi Alexander.. listen..what does your heart tell you. Close your eyes.. think of your love, does this person make you smile. Close your eyes again.. think of your family.. is it the same smile.. live life.. enjoy life.. i can tell you that people once they are used to ideas change.. give your people a chance to change.. most can do .. some don't of course.. but mostly they do cos they love you as much as you love them..

be happy in your life.. that's what counts. All else will fall into place.. (big hugs for your dilemma)

Answer 6

Your first responsibility is to take care of you. In so doing you will shake the beliefs of the family members around you, but they need the truth. You can't continue to lie to them, not if you truly love them. Just give them time to come around. Rome wasn't built in a night. Be sure to step back out of reach while they adjust.

Answer 7

First of all, there isn't a "right". But, in answer to the question, I think I'd do everything in my power to make it not have to be a choice. What my family does from there is THEIR decision and their problem, not mine, so I guess I'd go with love.

Answer 8

i would say go with your heart...why should you be lonely just because your family doesnt approve. I am sure in their lifetime you havent approved off all their relationships, but you still loved them and supported them...and as for the violence...if they do anything..i wouldnt be afraid to have a family member arrested. you shouldnt have to live in fear..and especially at the hands of family..that is totally wrong

Answer 9

well that's quite a good one, firstly you shouldn't let love pass you by, as for your family they should go along with what you choose, i sure they'll come round in the end ...... love is a wonderful thing to behold and to find it is a feeling you may never find again ....... take the chance you only live once ,,,,, good luck x

Answer 10

If you let other people, including your family, determine the path your life will take, you'll probably be miserable. You have your own life to live and make of it as you will. I would choose love.

Answer 11

Honestly you aren't going to become any less gay if you choose your family and in the end you're going to be very, very unhappy if you remain sexually unfulfilled for life - if you fear their reaction then seek support to get away from them but in the end you've got to go for love.