My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months and he moved across the country a few months ago for business. He wants me to move there with him, with the intentions of getting married (maybe in a year or so).
Do you think he should propose BEFORE I move there? I think he's planning to propose after I've left my job and life and moved in with him...
What should I expect from him?
FYI: I plan to say yes, and he knows I'll be moving there with that intention.
2006-07-28 13:11:46 · 9 answers · asked by Sienna Baker 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BEFORE: It would be very unwise to leave your job and move across the country based on a "hope" for a Proposal. That's how most women get caught up being the "Play Wife/Long Term Girlfriend" who waits years and years for their man to propose.
Listen, no man has a reason to Buy the cow, when they are Getting all the milk for Free. If you move across the country, you'll become the stereotypical "desperate woman", and your boyfriend will feel that he is in control of the relationship..
Tell him No. If he really wants you as his wife--he'll propose. If he doesn't, then he's just wasting your time, and be glad you found that out Before you packed up & moved across the country. I'm a 29 year old woman who's been proposed to by 3 different sucessful handsome men--without sleeping with any of them, and I Know men....Next time Mary J Blige's new wong "Enough Cryin' " comes on the radio--listen to it-you'll learn Alot.
2006-07-28 16:29:13 · answer #1 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What will happen if you move there and you two encounter problems and the relationship falls apart. You've only been dating for 9 months....not a lot of time. You've left the life you know ....he'll be fine because his job is there.....what will you have? I think I would wait until we're ready to get married. Not that the same thing couldn't happen but at least you would have some legal standing.
Not a romantic answer but a sensible answer.
2006-07-28 20:30:22 · answer #2 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Propose after you've gotten all kinds of drama out of your system (ex-girls etc), after you've formulated a reasonable plan for how you will live (jobs, mortgages, rent, etc), after you've asked her parents for their blessings to ask for her hand in marriage, and after you've bought an engagement ring. ( You can have a long engagement if you choose to, that's fine, but you definitely need a ring on your finger before you up and move across country. also, I'm not a big fan of living together before marriage either, but a lot of folks make it work. Just protect your interests before you over-commit by quitting jobs, giving up apartments, etc. Make sure he's true to his word and there are no hidden surprises. Good luck.
2006-07-28 20:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey do you know the saying "Why buy the cow, if you can get the milk for free?" Sweetie, If you are going to move in with his man give him sex (which I'm sure you will) help with the bills etc etc then you are the wife without papers and he won't be in any rush to marry you if he is drinking that milk for FREE! So what I'm saying is don't mess up with your current job and life untill he gives you a solid reason to leave. AND don't give him the milk!
GOOD LUCK and be smart.
2006-07-28 20:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, In your situation I would expect a proposal for the sacrafices you must make. If he ask you w/o a commitment say no, continue dating until he does it the right way. People who cohabitate usually do not end up getting married.
2006-07-28 20:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by nene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are already sexually active with him what makes you think he would like to hurry up and marry you? If you have not had sex with him, maybe you should ask a direct question as for what his intentions are and you can ask casually how is his sexual drive.
2006-07-28 20:17:10 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like someone said 9 months is not alot of time, but if its amatter of moving in then you should get married first. What if you move in with him and he decides not to want to get married, then what?
Be wise, not dumb girl!
2006-07-28 20:42:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't drop your job and move to another state until you have a rung on your finger!
2006-07-28 20:27:07 · answer #8 · answered by misslabeled 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he know you will say yes to marriage if he hasn't asked you?
And what's the reason for the delay again?
2006-07-28 20:24:35 · answer #9 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋