when i came out to my mother, she got sooooooo upset...she said i was disrespecting her and my father, and when i said what about my wants and wishes? she turned it around into what about her wants and wishes...then i ask her to go to counseling with me...and she says i am the one sick not her...how can i make her see my side in this and not turn it around as a her issue?
2006-07-28 12:19:54 · 13 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
its been 5yrs..not sure how much more time my mother needs
2006-07-28 12:45:19 · update #1
as for button...grow up
2006-07-28 12:46:24 · update #2
You can't. Your mother will never accept you because you have gone against what she believes. She is more concerned about how other people she knows will react to her if they know you are gay. She isn't concerned with how you feel. There is nothing you can do. Be who you are---hopefully your mother will come around. Good luck to you!
2006-07-28 12:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by sidnee_marie 5 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Maybe your mother needs more time. I don't know your background and spiritual beliefs, but some people are still stuck in the old days of "the shame of it all". Be sure your mom knows you are still you, you still love just like before. Have feelings, emotions and fears too. You're not a different person all of a sudden. You're still you. She's making it into her issue, because all she can see right now is how it will affect her life. Hang in there. It'll work out the way it will.
2006-07-28 12:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by mcghankathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people are afraid of the unknown, your mom seems to want to make a goose out of a swan, you are as you are and that is not your fault. You may have to distance yourself from your mom or she will keep using power trips that hurt you. You are not sick, perhaps counseling could help you to deal with your mom. I would suggest having her read information but I don't think it would change her mind. My mom had a plan for me and when I did not follow it she became abusive, I still see her but not very often and never alone. Good luck to you.
2006-07-28 16:11:05 · answer #3 · answered by dragonsarefree2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, give your mother some time. I know it seems like forever(five years is quite a bit of time!), but eventually, she'll either come around or she won't. Either way, love your momma, y'here? And don't pay people like button any attention, hon. Parents have a hard time dealing with matters of the heart concerning their children. What you can do for yourself is getting involved with LGBT organizations in your hometown that can help you effectively with your family and loved ones. Stay strong, sweetie, and you're gonna get through this.
2006-07-28 12:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't MAKE her see your side. She can't see your side or understand your feelings cause she's not you, she may never come to accept that part of you. The only thing that you can do is be honest and explain your feelings to her, then hope that she at least accepts them as your feelings even though she may not understand. Try to be patient, you are her baby and it is as difficult for her to hear as it was for you to say. If she never comes around, the only thing you can do is accept her feelings as her feelings and go on with your life. I wish you the best! Keep your chin up, things will get better :)
2006-07-28 12:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by NoBoysAllowed! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but you can't MAKE your mother see anything. She would manipulate you into giving up your life so as to not make her uncomfortable about an issue she has no right to be that uncomfortable with. She brought you into this world, while she doesn't owe you much, she does owe you unconditional love.
Stop discussing it with her. If and when she wants to talk about it, tell her you'll ONLY discuss it if the discussions are moderated by a counselor or other professional.
2006-07-28 15:12:50 · answer #6 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time. Let her get used to it. Don't use your sexuality as a weapon if you argue. It will be hard, but if she starts fighting with her, correct her if she is just wrong, but don't yell. Don't get loud, try not to get mad. Counselling might help, keep trying to get her to go. She probably was hoping to have grandchildren, but that can still happen. Remind her that not everyone who is in counselling is sick, it helps healthy people get through tough times. Good luck!
2006-07-28 12:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mithrandir_black 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time to get used to the idea. When I first came out, my parents thought I was perverted, but now (two years later) they are actually friendly towards my girlfriends. Wait a while, and intoduce them to the PFLAG chapter in your area.
I also advise that you see a queer counselor, might help with your questions. :)
2006-07-28 12:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by erthe_mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some, with all the propaganda against us by the Christians, she was bound to be shocked . Hopefully her motherly love for you will win her over. Tell her this is not your choice, God made you this way. II wish you all the luck in the world.
Love,
Tammi Dee
2006-07-28 12:43:34 · answer #9 · answered by tammidee10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,apparently she's had enough time to see your side,she just doesn't want to see it,that's all. My mom is still running my life,or trying to,rather,and I'll be 40 next week!! Just make peace within yourself,agree to disagree about it,and move on. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from people who hurt us,even if they did give birth to us.
2006-07-28 15:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋