I am asking again...Can YOU please tell me what YOU think?? Thanks?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been "together" for about 3 months but he asked me out 2 weeks ago. Anyway, he calls me everyday even though he is a super busy guy. He is really sweet. The only problem is he still hasn't hold my hand or even kiss me!!! He told me he is intimidated by me and that with other girls he never really cared but with me it's different, he wants everything PERFECT. He is usually an aggressive guy with girls but with me he is SO passive to the point of being annoying. I have to tell him to do something or make an initiative when it comes to anything and everything. He listens to everything I say. I am just so anoyed because it's like he doesn't have a mind of his own.

The question is

SHOULD I DUMP HIM?

Answer 1

Don't dump him yet. It sounds like he wants everything to be Perfect for You, so he's not asserting his own ideas. He's trying to please you and get you to like him. Perhaps he thinks you are slightly out of he's league and is intimidated.

The problem is that he's not showing you the real him because he's trying too hard to please you. You need to find out what he likes and get him to relax. Otherwise it will be like talking to a mirror (always agreeing with yourself).

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to go on some dates where he makes all the decisions and you aren't going to give him any help. Let him plan everything and make all the moves.

At least this way you will see a different side of him and see how he thinks. Then you can decide if you like him and are compatible.

Answer 2

Probably. But it's still worth a shot. You need to make it very clear that you are not happy, but he has to do the legwork and figure out why (in other words, don't spell it out). If he doesn't get it, move on.

You should just start by becoming more visibly distant. Don't give him any affection and don't send any warm signals. Turn your body away from him when you sit down, and don't give him any encouragement to come kiss you or anything. Don't go up and touch him; don't volunteer any affection. Don't even smile. Act completely cold and indifferent toward him. Sooner or later he'll ask what's wrong.

Then, you tell him that it should be obvious by now and that you don't feel you owe him an explanation. Continue to be cold. If he has cajones, he'll try to be affectionate. If he's soft and gentle, push him away. If he manages to be aggressive enough to turn you on, then warm up slightly and slowly. Give him a little hint that he's on the right track but make him work at it.

After that, you should know where you stand with him.

Answer 3

DON'T DUMP HIM!
Are you crazy?

I think you should hold yourself back a bit and see what happens.
If you have extra boost of energy, go jogging, swimming, cycling, whatever, occupy yourself and tire yourself out..... when you meet, be more patient... he will get courage.
Nobody likes lion queens..... guys get intimidated by that - girls tell me it is not the best strategy. He might be the cutest, sweetest, most intelligent and sexiest guy on Earth, but if you act scary... he will RUN AWAY, you won't even have to dump him, in the end.....

Calm down. If you can't speed sex between you (maybe he is just the quiet type and wants to know you better before ...), well, there are temporary solutions to that, too..... :))
Cheer up!

Answer 4

I say keep him, well i dont know the whole story but this guy is actually being a gentlemen. There aren't too many left in this world. His courage and self esteem will grow. Arelationship consists of many facets not just the physical. Remember this . Are you looking for love for a lifetime or love for a couple of days? think about that one for a minute. Do you enjoy spending time with him? Do you have any similar interests? think on these things

Answer 5

My question is why are you waiting for him to make the first move? it is 2006 girls can make the first move. maybe he likes you so much he is afraid of doing the wrong thing. I should not say dump him i think you should try asking for a kiss OR taking HIS hand when you go out he could just be kinda shy with a girl he REALLY likes

Answer 6

If hes older than 18 and hasn't pounced on you atleast to say he could be married. He could be a good gentleman or he could just be waiting to show you hes a nice guy and get what he wants and go. You could be his special one. Unless he says I love you or does something soon it could just be a friendship not anything beyond that. Tell him you dont want to have a sister brother relationship. Anyways hope things go good for you. Good Luck** Need any more help ask his mother.

Answer 7

The Truth is ... You already know the answer.
Usually peopledate other people who are compatible to them. If he obviously is not meeting your standards and annoys you easily then you have already given up.
Sweetness doesn't keep a relationship going. If he is so intimadated by you then he definitely needs to work on some issues of his own.
You both need time to find yourselfs and stop playing with ewach other.

Answer 8

Tell him you need a guy to be aggressive and that takes charge very directly. If things don't change for the better and you still feel annoyed - then it is time to move on. Give him a chance first.

Answer 9

i think most women want a man, who is a MAN. he needs to make me feel attractive, wanted, and taken care of; that means He needs to KNOW what and how to make good decisions while keeping me in mind. of course we want a man who is sweet like that, but he still has to go for what he wants! if i were you, i might try to be the aggressor at first..hold his hand, kiss him first. he probably needs to be assured by you. hopefully once u instigate, he will get more confident and be more like the way u said he was w/ other girls. if he STILL acts weird, i say find someone who makes your heart race AND is sweet to you. and is not annoying.

Answer 10

It looks like you got a guy that has possibly fallen in love with you, you could be the agressor but from what your story says it looks like you would not be satisfied with that. You know you could try talking with His friends or maybe pass it down the line if you did not want to tell him directly. I'm sure he does have a mind of his own but he is only trying to please you. i'll bet that if he knew how you felt he wouldnt act that way, so let him know.