2006-07-28 11:56:26 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I read this great book called 'The five love languages'....it's all about what makes us happy, some people it is physical touch, other people it is doing things for someone, others it is giving gifts.....get the book, find out which one you are and which one your husband is and start looking after them in their love language. For my husband, he loves it when I acknowledge that he got dinner ready or did the vacuuming one day when I was really busy at work.....just telling how much I appreciated it and finding something I could do for him was amazing. I am physical touch, so he has acknowledged that by being more affectionate etc....we are both so much happier and the spark has come back into our relationship. It's all too easy to forget what we did for each other 20 years ago when we were eager to please or do anything for the other person. Hope this works for you!
2006-07-28 12:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by like to help 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell you, yes. For all practical purposes it is over. I believe that there are other issues in your marriage that have made you less physically attracted to your husband. Other things that he does or doesn't do. When you're married and the initial infactuation wears off, you should still be attracted to your spouse because of all the other great things that he does or the person he is.
Likley there are other problems in your marriage, whether they are money related, the way he treats you, ignores you, has an apprecaition for you, helps with the kids, helps or doesn't help around the house, cares about you, your job your friends surprises you, compliments you, shows an interest in you, etc... Does he ever thank you for all the things you do? Does he take care of himself to make you attacted to him? Think about it...is he still trying, are you? Or have you both given up and just taking each other for granted?? I say, get out now. You deserve so much more!
2006-07-28 19:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are dealing with this difficulty after many years of marriage. I have never been sexually attracted to my H. He is a great guy and great father but doesn't get me going. We have asked each other if it is possible to live without sex. Very unfair for H who remains passionate about me but it is not reciprocated. How does H live without it is perhaps a better question. Right now - we are giving lots of affection; hugs, hand holding, and saying loving things. Does not change my feelings - are we over? - some days I feel it is only a matter of time and maybe when our children have all left home - he may find someone else, and I too, that perhaps will 'do it' for us. Does one throw the marriage all away for that one missing part (a very important part we both desire)?
2006-07-28 19:17:09 · answer #3 · answered by 4bettertimes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very profound Question. For a lot of people it would be over, but if you think that your husband is your soul mate & a good partner & father then stick it out. We cant all be always sex gods & goddeses. It unfortunately happened to me with my wife for a short while, something which I always regret as she passed away last year at only 49 years old. If you think it is worth it (& think carefully)hang on to it. Think of the good times that you had & try to bring the sexual excitment back into your relationship.
Good Luck
2006-07-28 19:50:01 · answer #4 · answered by wayforwardhow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens in the best of marriages. If the love is still there the attraction will come back. Talk to your husband and think of ways to put the spice back. Talking about it can be half the fun. Good luck.
2006-07-28 19:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All marriages have ups and downs. There are normal times when a woman has less sexual desire, like when she has babies or little kids who need all her energy. Please get some help as a couple and you can get through this "down" time. Things can always get better! Try to get in the mood every now and then- just as a gift to your husband and the marriage- even if you aren't really feeling that way. Best wishes!
A grandma-aged person
2006-07-28 19:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People can become less attractive physically because of age or illness. Also, attraction can be lost by the familiarity that comes over time.
What you have to learn to do is make love to the person that you love that's inside that body that doesn't do anything for you. That way you can enrich your marriage.
2006-07-28 19:08:46 · answer #7 · answered by R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I'd say its over. You need an element of attraction and interest in each other to keep a marriage going. If that's not felt by both of you then having something that's one-sided just doesn't work.
2006-07-29 04:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever been sexually attracted to him? Is he attracted to you? What are his other qualities, what do you like about him? Does he know how you feel? Can you communicate? Are you attracted to anyone else? Lots of things to look at and explore?
2006-07-29 07:19:08 · answer #9 · answered by Louise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to be if he is happy to have a celibate marriage but even if he did you may have to be prepared to let him have either one night stands or affairs and risk losing him to the other woman.
You don't have to be sexually attracted to him to have sex with him, look upon it as showing him you love him and appreciate him, if you can't do that then it is probably time to call it a day.
2006-07-28 19:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by madamspud169 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋